Laughing: with or at you

A darker deeper level of snark

2010-04-07T11:42:00.002-06:00

I know it's been quite some time since I've shown my face, so to speak, here and for that, dear internet, I am sorry. But I had to share this with you. She could be my new best friend, if I were lucky enough to live in the Bay Area:

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sfo/71020820.html

Enjoy!

law student version of sending my child to war

2010-01-26T17:31:00.003-07:00

Dear Apple Technician,

Please, please please take good care of my baby. She is in a very vulnerable state at the moment, what with the combination of not working correctly and me oscillating between screaming and crying jags every time she does not work correctly. She is my trusty and loyal sidekick, my partner in crime, the love of my (law school) life. Be kind. Treat her well. I've put her through a lot of trials and tribulations over the last year and a half, and I'd like to see her make it at least until I graduate and find a job. Send her back to me new and improved as fast as you can.

Also? Though I am in the midst of a massive pre-send-off backup of my data, please PLEASE for the love of all that is holy try not to delete any of my shit. I am a law student, not a tech guru, and I make no claims of actually knowing what I am doing when it comes to backing up my documents, music and pictures. And all those other random but essential files that live in non-obvious places. In other words, please send my baby back intact, aside from the broken parts.

Sincerely,

(NotCurrently)Laughing

hiatus shmi-bite me-atus

2010-01-19T21:09:00.004-07:00

You might say that I have been on a hiatus from blogging. You would be correct. I launched myself into winter break with the pointed goal of Doing Nothing for 4 solid weeks and I'm happy to say that I succeeded, with one notable exception. I did spend a lot of time with my new boyfriend, who I'll call Jack Bauer. He is incomparably delightful, but that's enough gushing for now.

Today I made a discovery about an apparent misconception that I've had since starting law school. I always thought that the loud people in the library were 1Ls - those without a clear understanding of law school etiquette and hierarchy, who had no basis for understanding their volume level. And I have been wrong this whole time! The loud people in the library are actually 3Ls - they don't really care that much about reading for their classes, but they're sort of in the habit of being in the library, and the bar exam isn't close enough yet for them to actually be preparing. I'm not yet sure what to do with this new found knowledge, as it stretches my sense of law school etiquette and hierarchy to glare mercilessly at a bunch of 3Ls. More to follow, and I promise it will be sooner than last time.

internet "research"

2009-12-16T20:21:00.002-07:00

You know you've crossed some sort of internet-stalking line when you find things while "researching" somebody online that you want to share with them, but in order to do so you'd have to admit to your technological-pokings-around - and not in the "yeah I checked out your pictures when you friended me" kind of way. But come on, when someone else who has the exact same name has put only books about magical demons on their amazon wish list, how can I be expected to not make a joke about that?

In a related note, lots of people who have private Facebook profiles do not have private pictures. I mean lots and lots, especially those who are not paranoid law students worried about getting a job someday. I also think that most people don't think about the setting "friends of friends" as still containing complete strangers. I start break tomorrow afternoon and it is going to take Herculean efforts to keep from going any further into the internetz.

notes in the margins

2009-12-08T20:28:00.003-07:00

My favorite note I've found written (by me) in the margins of my casebook as I outline: "professor thinks this is crap."

It is unfortunately not so helpful as to why professor thinks it is crap, or what professor prefers. At least it's better than the one about a hundred pages back, awkwardly positioned far enough away from the case as to indicate that it wasn't referring to anything in particular: "WTF."

Oh evidence, you and I can only be friends for the purpose of pointing out the inaccuracies of Law & Order.

it's a series of tubes

2009-12-04T23:46:00.003-07:00

Ok, I love me some lolcats as much as anybody else (not true, I probably love them more), but have you ever read the comments on those posts? Holy literacy rate, I want to punch those people.

Also, while I'm on the subject of griping about my otherwise favorite study distractions, I've always wondered: who are the people taking the People of Walmart pictures? They have to be in Walmart to take the picture, or at least lurking around the parking lot - aren't they making fun of themselves in a roundabout way? Or worse, are they just douchey hipster college students doing recon so that they can bask in the glory of their photo being posted on the site? Does it assuage the conscience of people like me when we do go into Walmart? "Hey it's not so bad, maybe I'll see a crazy person I can take a picture of with my overpriced phone!"

This is a perfect example of why I should not be left alone to study on a Friday night, without the company of booze or attractive men: because when left to my own devices I over-analyze everything that is fun about the internet.

moment of panic

2009-12-03T14:17:00.002-07:00

Every time I have to do a research assignment for work, there is a moment early on in the process when I am looking at the research question and I just think to myself, "I have no fucking clue what my boss is asking for." I know I need to ask some questions to clarify what it is I'm supposed to be looking for, but in order to ask good questions I need to have some understanding of what I'm doing. In order to have some understanding of what I'm doing, I need to know a little bit more than zero, that is if I want to keep my job. And so I spend a couple of hours spinning my wheels, grasping at search terms and obscure ALRs until I have enough of a shadow of an idea to ask those clarifying questions. Does this happen to anybody other than me?

obligatory pre-overnighter posting

2009-11-29T22:00:00.002-07:00

I am about to dive headfirst into a 15 page final paper for one of my classes (due tomorrow, how'd you guess?) but before I started I figured I would waste a bit more time and alert teh interwebz to my recent goings-on. And, of course, since I am lazy ... err .... saving all of my transitions for my brilliant paper, I will devolve into my favorite format, la liste.

1. I went away for a few days for Thanksgiving and came back to a cat who was so starved for attention that she has sat on my lap for over 10 hours today. If there is one thing I am thankful for this year, it is the unconditional love of a pet.
2. The downside is that it is very difficult to actually accomplish anything when there is a purring cat sitting between me and my laptop.
3. When I got up yesterday I learned that my phone had deleted all the contact names in my address book. In other words I still have the numbers, but no names to go with them, which is just about as useless as not having the numbers at all. I'm working on a solution, but in the meantime I'm just answering the phone really enthusiastically every time.
4. I did an interview with Awesome Job That I Want SO Much, For Realz about a week ago, and I do not have enough digits to cross to contain my hopefulness.
5. When it rains it pours. Just saying.
6. I am almost halfway through with law school, which makes me simultaneously relieved and terrified. This is pretty much par for the course? I'm Ron Burgundy?
7. I cannot wrap my brain around how people who have such a poor grasp of grammar get into law school, but I'm so grateful that they do. Getting all worked up about grammar, style, and punctuation while grading citations is strangely cathartic.
8. For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not go out and buy Going Rogue. Do not Go Rogue, do not collect $200.
9. Also, please do not go see New Moon. Barf.
10. I love my apartment. I've never really loved anywhere that I've lived before, so it's a strange new feeling for me, but oh god I lurve my apartment.

patience is my strong suit

2009-11-13T12:27:00.002-07:00

In my experience, the anxiety of waiting for a guy to call is only eclipsed by the anxiety of waiting for the Awesome Job I Applied For to call. And I only submitted my application like 3 minutes ago. Welcome to my own particular brand of crazy, Internet. Make yourself comfortable, we could be here a while.

list of suck

2009-11-11T13:39:00.002-07:00

Things About Which I Am Not Particularly Pleased At The Moment:

1. Not getting any interviews yet.
2. Also not yet getting called back by the cute boy I spent the weekend with.
3. Having a cold.
4. Being broke.
5. The fact that there are no more classes to take from my favorite professor.
6. Acne.
7. The fact that finals are right around the corner.

the "work" and corresponding "death"

2009-10-27T03:04:00.003-06:00

I'm pretty sure that I have pulled more all-nighters in the last 3 months of being a 2L than I ever did as an undergrad. I know I'm not the first to say this, and I won't be the last, but crap-on-a-cracker this 2L "work you to death" thing is no joke. And mere weeks ago I was going on and on about not letting law school take over my entire life. Ha. Ha. Defeat is funnier in the wee hours of the morning, don't you think?

Also, as a result of the overworkèdness, if another one of the 1Ls in the writing class I TA for comes up to me to complain about how much work they have, I may have to punch them. Except take out the "may" from that last sentence and substitute it with "will, without hesitation." So 1Ls? You are on notice: it's not Halloween zombies you need to watch out for, it's bloodshot 2Ls who look like zombies. Don't say you haven't been warned.

C&S

2009-10-20T00:01:00.002-06:00

Cite & Source, otherwise known as Crap & Snark, otherwise known as Crude & Sucky, otherwise known as I Have Lost My Creativity to Make Up Clever Shit. Oh Wait! Otherwise known as Clever & Shit.

Things I Will Do While I Work on This Cite & Source:

1. Watch about a billion episodes of L&O Criminal Intent on Instant Watch. I know there are a lot of C&I haters out there, but I love Vincent D'Onofrio, and now it's got Chris Noth too, and you know that Noth sounds an awful lot like NOM. Chris Nomnomnomnoth.
2. Dive into that gallon of seasonally flavored ice cream in the freezer.
3. Learn way more than anybody cares to know about now-defunct laws written in the 1940s.

pickle

2009-10-06T01:26:00.003-06:00

I am in a research pickle. Everything that I have found gives an extremely clear answer to the research question: "no". But my boss thinks that the answer should be "yes," and is bound and determined that I should find that "yes" if I just do more research. At what point do I stop billing and again give the unsatisfactory answer of "no" even after being told to "look harder"?

laundry day

2009-10-04T11:23:00.002-06:00

Although living in a building of mostly undergrads has its obvious downsides (Taylor-Swift-listening-girl-next-door, I'm looking at you) I have discovered one perk. Being the only person up before 10 on a Sunday means I get first dibs on the one washer and dryer, which I plan on monopolizing for the next 3-4 hours. Bwahhahahaha!

The amount of enjoyment that I am getting out of this is perhaps a new low in the "law school has turned me into a complete loser" game.

adventures in "reply all"

2009-10-01T00:34:00.002-06:00

Today in the library, I received the following email:
_____
To: Laughing, Guy-Friend ...list of other people
From: StudyGroupGuy
Subject: Party!

Hey study group! I am having a party next weekend, it would be cool if you all came!

_____

I then replied to Guy-Friend:
_____
To: Guy-Friend
From: Laughing
Subject: RE: Party!

OMG! Cute boy in our study group is having a party!
_____

Then Guy-Friend replied to me:
_____
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Party!

Laughing, you clicked Reply All....
_____

And then PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
_____

And then I received this:
_____
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Party!

Haha! Just joking!
_____

And then I spent the afternoon scheming about leaving flaming bags of poo on Guy-Friend's doorstep.

insert cliche

2009-09-29T00:10:00.003-06:00

After the problem I had a couple of weeks ago when the heat spontaneously came on by itself and wouldn't turn off on an 80 degree day, I now have the opposite problem. No heat. And it was nowhere near 80 here today. And there is only so much fleece in my apartment.

I would have called this post "be careful what you wish for" except that phrase is basically the cliche version of "I told you so", which makes me kinda punchy. "Be careful what you wish for" is really only appropriate when what you wish is for me to punch you in the face, and then I would recommend that you be careful what you wish for silently, because I can be a little spazy with the punches.

stir crazy

2009-09-26T20:25:00.003-06:00

I agreed to take on 2 extra research and writing projects for work this weekend and next to generate some extra cash for a mini-vacation I'm taking next month. It will be worth it, but it means that I'm staying in to work all weekend. On Thursday it seemed like no big thang, yesterday it still seemed doable, and today I am wallowing in what seems like an impossible amount of work in an impossibly short time, and yet it seems like fo re ver until I will be done. Not leaving the house for 40+ hours can have that crazy-making effect on a person.

So to break up the monotony, I'm following the lead of mind the sass with a few of my favorite things:

1. Crescent rolls. Nom!
2. My new caramel colored knee length boots.
3. Kitty.
4. The Office.
5. Pumpkin ice cream.
6. Netflix.
7. The fact that I got to keep the awesome TV in the division of stuff.
8. Blue mascara - perhaps controversial, but fun nonetheless.
9. Christmas music (ok, I'll wait until October).
10. Not being a 1L.
11. My bicycle.
12. Thai tea.

And, in the alternative, a very short list of my new least favorite thing:

1. Use of the word "arguendo", especially when used after the word "assuming." AARGH.

house-keeping and awesome-keeping

2009-09-24T14:00:00.003-06:00

Hi, my name is Laughing and I am an asshole. Which is to say, I just got around to updating the links to some of my favorite blawgers who had migrated to new platforms. Uh, some of whom had done so like 6 months ago. This is my way of making up for my slackishness. Go visit Exhibit L, No634, a woman in law school, and A (Non)Token Minority Law Student - all people who, despite me ignoring their pleas to update my blogroll, did not remove me from theirs. Thanks dudes.

It is also my pleasure to say that I've been included in The Bitter Lawyer's 10 Favorite Law Student Blogs. Woot! I'm totally flattered, especially since my posting schedule has been, err, lacking lately. Go read all the interviews of the folks included on the list. There is a tiny part of me that wishes I hadn't outed my crush on Nobody since she was also included, but on the bright side it reaffirms my incredibly good taste, no?

And if you're here for the first time because of the Bitter Lawyer post, welcome y'all! I hope you enjoy!

this friday night brought to you by lame

2009-09-18T22:30:00.003-06:00

I realized I hadn't spent a single night just hanging out by myself for the last 2 weeks (no wonder I feel like I'm losing my everloving mind) so I decided to spare my friends and take some alone time tonight. As soon as I decided that I would spend the evening with my feet up, eating bonbons, I looked around my apartment and saw that it was, well, kind of gross. For me, in law school especially, the messy apartment problem tends to spiral out of control fairly quickly - I'm stressed so I don't clean, things are messy and therefore I get more stressed, and it all ends up with me blowing off something I should be doing for school in order to get my surroundings in better shape. My amazing discovery? Friday night cleaning is better than Saturday morning cleaning, because it comes with the added bonus of wine. And you know me, drinking alone on a Friday night usually leads to a list.

Things I Did Tonight in Particular Order:

1. Play laser pointer with the cat. Never gets old.
2. Washed dishes.
3. Spent twice as long washing dishes as necessary because I was also watching Gossip Girl.
4. Dusted the top of the fridge.
5. Discovered that the heat was on, what the eff?
6. Ohmahgah it is so hot in here, why can't I get the heat to turn off?!?
7. Opened windows.
8. Spent 30 minutes trying to keep the cat from leaning against window screens.
9. Closed the windows.
10. Cleaned the bathroom sink and vanity.
11. Started cleaning the toilet.
12. Discovered that the water was no longer running, mid-toilet cleaning.
13. Overcome by sudden and unquenchable thirst.
14. Cleaned kitchen counters, table. Scoured burner pans.
15. Thought about reading for Ethics.
16. Fuck that, how about a movie and eat ice cream instead.

That basically brings us to the current moment, with me and the cat enjoying a lovely (if hot) evening in a tidied apartment that smells faintly of lemon cleaning product. Hope you all had a great Friday night too.

advice (not assvice!) to 1Ls

2009-09-09T18:21:00.003-06:00

Dear Precious 1Ls,

We need to have a quick chat about study room etiquette. You see, I get that you are new here. I get that you don't quite know how things work yet. I get that you are scared out of your damn minds at least half the time. But that doesn't give you any good reason to act like a bunch of dill-holes. So let's go over some stuff that might make everybody's lives a little easier.

1) Try reserving your own study rooms instead of taking mine. Telling me that you've been kicked out of 3 other study rooms already today doesn't move me to sympathy so much as it makes you look like an idiot. Reserve your own room or go to the library, and get the fuck over it.

2) When somebody starts standing awkwardly outside of a study room you are in, they are not admiring your color-coded underlining technique or your overpriced and underfunctional school bag. They probably have the room reserved, which means you need to get out, poste haste. No, you may not finish that page, that email, that killer convo about who said what to whom at bar review. Pack yo shit up and skeedadle.

3) Study rooms are not soundproof booths. Less shrieking, less screeching, less squee. Many of you have not yet figured out that you are staring down the barrel of a buttload of work, and that you would do well to use less time gossiping. If you are with it enough to have gotten a study room, use it for studying, or at least silent facebooking. I don't really care what you do, as long as I can't hear it.

That being said, you all look like lovely people. I'd be more than happy to help you with your citations. I love seeing your UCC diagrams on the whiteboards. Also, I commend you on the relatively low incidence of over-perfumers. Next year you'll have full discretion to chastise 1Ls as you see fit. Let's just try to work these study room habits into your routine, mmmkay?

Truly yours,

Laughing

financial aid success!!

2009-08-31T10:53:00.002-06:00

It only took about 15 tries, but the financial aid office has finally gotten their shit together and decided to let me borrow more than $2000 to live on this semester. Yay! No more ramen for me, I'm upgrading to PB&J! Wooohoooo!!!

In completely unrelated news, "Velvet Wendolyn" has emailed me to let me know that she (she?) wants to sell me some viagara and cialis. Someone with that kind of a name is exactly who I would expect to be peddling such wares, except that I would expect her to be doing so at the kinky tent at the renaissance festival, not through such modern means as email.

from the mouths of babes

2009-08-20T23:56:00.001-06:00

Overheard in the law school today, after a bunch of 1L classes got out:
________________________________________
CoolGuy1L: Hey, so what are your plans for the weekend?

Saddest1LintheWorld: Uh, well, I don't have any friends, so...... probably nothing.
________________________________________

I know that it might feel that way right now, 1Ls, but I promise it gets better. I promise.

of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax

2009-08-04T00:20:00.004-06:00

In the year I've been blogging, I have tried to make it a point to make this a primarily "law school blog." In some ways I needed the structure, and in some ways I did it to protect my identity from my classmates. But this summer has most decidedly Not been about law school, and so I haven't had much to write about. Instead, this summer has seemed to be about how my relationship is unraveling before my eyes, which is something I've been in denial of, embarrassed by, and mostly just afraid of. It has been something that I've hoped wouldn't happen, and something that I definitely didn't want to broadcast to the internet.

Maybe I was wrong to think that I could contain these spheres of my life apart from one another. What is currently happening in my relationship is affected by me being in law school, and how I feel about being in law school is in part affected by my relationship. There is a venn diagram there, and the overlapping part is a black hole of shittiness. It's a bleak outlook, and perhaps a controversial way to say "Welcome 1Ls!"

School starts up again soon though, which gives me something to look forward to (and perhaps some good blog fodder?). Despite my all-around dislike of last year I'm actually excited about school again - about my classes, about meeting new people, about the jobs and internships I have lined up, about the friends I've made, and about simply no longer being a 1L. I hope you'll stick around to laugh with and at me.

not dead yet

2009-06-28T18:55:00.004-06:00

Just in case anyone out there still reads this.... I haven't died in the past month. I've just fallen off the face of the internet.

I know that this happens to a lot of blawgers, especially in the first summer. I remember being frustrated by a lack of posts last summer when I was preparing for 1L by reading every law student blog I could find.

I could say that I haven't had anything to write about, but that's not true. It's more that I've been working through some things that I haven't yet been ready to share. I could be writing about my summer job, but I already have to do "reflective journals" which are a lot less fun than blogging, but also sort of destroy my desire to reflect. Plus, using blogging as a way to put off homework is fairly enjoyable, but using it as a way to put off fun summer stuff? Not as enticing. Sorry internets.

The past month has been a full one, and a lot of things have happened that warrant their own posts entirely. Here is a brief list though of stuff I've failed to blog about:

1. Living with animals who are at war with each other = not my idea of a good time.
2. I'm moving in 2 weeks. This was entirely unexpected, and until about 4 days ago, unplanned.
3. My garden is awesome enough that sometimes I wish I owned a greenhouse instead of going to law school.
4. I got my grades.
5. I did not try for law review.
6. My summer job has helped me make a major decision about what I want to do in my legal career, which is sort of awesome.
7. I lined up a fairly cool job for the fall, with people I like, and I sort of just fell into it without trying. Score!
8. I do not miss being around law students. Related: I like my classmates a lot more now that we are not in class. Most of them, at least.
9. Despite #8, there has still been a little bit of social weirdness. I would not be surprised if this became a bit of an issue in the next month or so.

I'm going to try to be a better blogger. I pwomise. Also, to my peers who have moved their blogs, I will get around to updating my blogroll with your new addresses. Sheesh I'm such a lazy internet citizen. Please be patient with me.

best and worst of the first

2009-05-30T15:34:00.002-06:00

I got tagged! And despite my steady readership of other people's blogs, it took me about 15 minutes to figure out what the fuck it meant when Shake wrote "I tagged you!" I thought, "spray paint?" or maybe "facebook?" A while later, and with a healthy helping of "duh" I realized that oh, hey, tagging is a thing people do on their blogs. Oh yeah.

Aside from that, this exercise was difficult for me. It was difficult to look back and try and decide between all the bad memories, and to try and remember the not so many good ones. This year of school has been rough and though I've had fun at times, nothing in particular has stood out for me as making all the crappy stuff worth it. But hey, let's get the bad news over with first....

The Worst: On the day that I turned my final brief in for my writing class, I also got back a practice midterm from a class I had been doing pretty well in. While he was handing back the midterms, my professor mentioned that there was one that he had trouble reading, and so he had asked the writing tutor to read it and comment. And of course it was mine. And of course the writing comments were the first thing I read. And of course, I lost my shit. Writing has always been one of my strongest academic skills, and it tore me to shreds. I thought about quitting school, I thought that I was going to fail out. I was mad at my professor and mad at myself, and I couldn't stop thinking about the paper I had just turned in. I read the midterm, and it was poorly written, and so I beat myself up some more. I tried my best to put it behind me, to not think about it, to act as if it had been a fluke.

The Best: I hate to bring this to grades, but this experience is only the Best because of how it relates to the Worst. The day after my last final I went in to pick up my graded brief from my writing professor (yes, the one that I turned in on that awful day). Right there on the front of my grading sheet, my professor had written that my brief was the best one in the class. I hope to never forget that feeling. I could absolutely not hold it in. In fact, I'm pretty sure I actually squeaked, right there in the law building hallway, in the middle of finals, one big loud "EEEEEEE!" I have never been so happy to get an A in my entire life, and I have also never been so worried about doing poorly on something. Plus, it was a great feeling that the first grade I got this semester was such a good one (especially compared to last semester, when my first grade was by far the worst). It has given me more confidence at my internship, in my ability to be an attorney, and in my ability to take a rough situation and still do well for myself.

I'm going rogue and tagging some who has finished a bit more school than me: (In)Sanity Gal.

finals time, break time, job time

2009-05-26T21:13:00.003-06:00

Finals were brutal, in ways both expected and not. Property, which was my ace in the hole, was also the last exam and so by that point I was suffering from some serious exam burnout. The Con Law exam seemed to be the best of the bunch, but there's no way to know until grades come in. I did get some good news right after exams: I got the highest grade in my writing class!! It was a welcome surprise, and I have to say that I've never been so happy to get an A in my whole life.

And then? And then! Summer break. I've also never been so happy in my life for summer vacation. Not being in law school is a great feeling. I've been taking maximum advantage: planting my garden, reading a stack of books, drinking lots of beer.

I also started my internship last week. I'm working for a judge and so far its been great. I'll be posting more regularly again soon, but here is a short list of things to share with you:

1. Holyfuckingshit I am not qualified for this. According to the clerk I'm working with, this feeling doesn't really go away.
2. I managed to "exfoliate" all of the skin off of my pinky toe in just 2 days of wearing dress shoes. No likey.
3. I have now seen my judge in running shorts 3 times. I'm sorry, I meant to say 3 times too many.
4. Lawyers are rude.
5. I am happy to report that you are still allowed to have an afternoon snack in adult-land.

what's your weirdest search?

2009-05-11T14:09:00.002-06:00

You know the "research" you do to get points on lexis/westlaw? The days where you have nothing legitimate to look up, but goddamnit if you are going to miss today's 15 points? What do you search - even better - what is the weirdest thing you've searched?

When I'm presented with a situation like this, I turn into an 8 year old boy. Which is how I now know that there are 17 cases on lexis with the phrase "dog poop" in them. (Oh hello new readers who are finding me after searching "dog poop". You are creeping me out, go away.) The bad thing about that search though, is that all of the cases are pretty sad. The phrase isn't used as a euphemism for something else, and you know that if that particular element is important enough to use in the case then there is some sad stuff going down.

To cheer myself up, I decided to search for some other ridiculous thing: witch and magic wand. Three cases. More hilarious and less sad. Also better than just searching "magic wand" where nearly every phrase goes something like this: "the suchandsuch doctrine is not a magic wand for that dumb thing you did."

So what about you? What have been your best, worst, funniest, and weirdest searches? Come on, I've got 2 days to go, entertain me.

can you guess what took 10 years off my life today?

2009-05-08T23:28:00.003-06:00

Here, I'll give you the answer, I won't even make you wait for it. Having major computer problems the day of my 6 hour take-home exam, that is what took 10 years off my life today. In fact, I think that even just telling people about it took a couple years off their lives. Eeeek.

But! I've only got one left....yippee!

Unfortunately, I learned today that I have to wear a suit to work pretty much every day all summer. And I'm not even working for a fancy firm, in fact I'm not working for a firm at all. There goes my idea of riding my bike to work.

the dormant commerce clause

2009-05-03T11:10:00.002-06:00

Can go fuck itself. For that matter, all of con law can go fuck itself.

I need a big sign above my head to warn friends and loved ones. It would say, "interact with me at your own risk." In fact, those signs should be included in the cost of tuition.

end of classes: 1L

2009-04-28T22:53:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was my last class session for my 1L year. Holy crap.

It was an awesome feeling, a feeling I'm trying to savor and at the same time not over-inflate. It's really tempting to start singing, "I don't ever have to be in class with him again or her again or them lalalala!" And since there is no way of knowing if the particularly annoying folks in my section will be in any more of my classes I have to reign in that instinct of mine. Because they probably will. At least I won't have all of my classes with all of the same people all of the fucking time.

The #1 thing I have hated about law school? Having all of my classes with all of the same people all day every day all week every week all year. I like a little bit of anonymity in my classes, and I like a little bit of variety. Having less external reinforcement helps my internal motivation to keep ticking. Being in all the same classes with the same group of type-A personalities was so much external reinforcement that it really turned me in the opposite direction, of needing to get away from it all a little too often.

My section did not become a love fest of people who will be friends until we die. It became an oversized Real World house, complete with ill-advised hookups, secret alliances and agendas, and, more than anything, drama. Le barf. I can recognize that some of the friends I've made are friends of convenience. In the last month I've seen this, experienced the inevitable falling out of touch. That's ok with me.

Yesterday, one of my classmates said that he doesn't feel like he knows anything more now than he did in August. I asked him, "is that a joke?" I feel almost like a different person now than I did 9 months ago. No, I certainly don't think that I have learned very much of what there is to know about the law, but that has more to do with the vastness of the subject than with my increase in knowledge. I know enough now to know that I need to know more (say that 5 times fast), but I still think that I have learned an incredible amount in this school year. Its probably the greatest knowledge increase I've had since I learned to read. Even if I just consider things I've learned about myself in the last 9 months, the change has been huge.

One thing I've learned? Not to be terrified of my exams. I'm trying to remind myself of that as I prepare and revise my outlines. I hope everyone out there can feel the same. Good Luck.

Puncher strikes again

2009-04-13T17:00:00.002-06:00

Laughing: Oh, hey, what have you got there?

Self-Righteous Classmate: A contracts hypo.

Laughing: Where did you get a contracts hypo?

S-R Classmate: The TA.

Laughing: That's weird. I emailed the TA and asked for any hypos I could work on and he never emailed me back.

S-R Classmate: Yeah, he only had like 5 copies. He said he wasn't going to give them out unless people came to see him. So its really not me that's not sharing, its him, he just only wanted those of us who went to see him have them...

Laughing: In that case I have to leave before this irresistible urge to punch you travels from my brain to my arm.

water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

2009-04-08T22:06:00.002-06:00

I ate ice cream for dinner tonight. Ice cream. Like someone who just started living in the dorms and is like, "freshman 15what? I can eat ice cream any time of the day or night!" Because apparently there is something wrong with me in my brain.

I love to cook and have actually really been enjoying cooking all for myself this year. I get to try out new recipes, I get to cook my favorite things over and over again, I get to relax, and when its just me its really low pressure - if it tastes like shit I throw it out and make scrambled eggs. But lately I've been a little wacky with eating any of it. I'm still cooking, for myself during the week and sometimes even for BF on the weekends. I'll find a recipe online or think of something really yummy that I want to eat, I buy the ingredients, I take part of the night off from studying to make it. Then I cook it. And then I have absolutely no desire to eat it. I anti-desire to eat it, I want nothing to do with it. Not because its bad, BF still loooves whatever I make, and I can usually go back to it in leftover form after a few days. I also can't really ever say what I want instead, I just know I don't want that.

Its totally fucking ridiculous, not the least because I don't have a lot of money to spend on food that I simply don't eat. There's something about doing the prep and cooking that totally takes the gratification out of it for me. So instead of eating the awesome wonton soup I made tonight, like a weirdo, I had mint ice cream.

cleanliness is next to .... calmness?

2009-04-06T23:16:00.004-06:00

Not to sound too smarmy, but sometimes what I really need is just to spend a few minutes cleaning up my apartment.

I've always been a person who, under stress, makes a huge mess in my surroundings: papers laid everywhere, clothing strewn about, coffee mugs left out, etc. I've always made excuses: I'm so busy/stressed/have so much to accomplish that I cannot even begin to think about being neat, let alone actually cleaning up the mess that I've made. That "solution" has always worked just fine for me, at least until law school.

"Stress-messy" was still my M.O. last semester, at least during the week. Now, I'm beginning to think that this may be a poor strategy for me. Instead of calming me down because I have one less task to worry about, I think deep down the mess stresses me out. Cleaning can be really cathartic for me, and in the last few weeks I've found that its much better than surfing the internet or watching tv is at making me feel like I've had a break and am ready to do more schoolwork.

Maybe this is a tiny piece of the wisdom/calm that the 2Ls have found? I know that they are waaay busier than 1Ls, but for the most part they seem to also do a waaay better job at balancing school, life and job than we do.

oh yeah, "there are no winners or losers"

2009-04-01T21:03:00.003-06:00

While working on my appellate brief, sometimes it is hard to remember that this is not a real case. Its disappointing too, especially after finding out that the cases relied upon by my opposing counsel don't even come close to making a convincing argument. My first instinct is to think, "Awesome! We are totally going to win! Booyah!" I'm slightly irritated to know that the grading is going to be based entirely on the quality of the writing, when it is clear that someone could write well and cite flimsy case law. I guess this is just another charming example of "this is what being a lawyer is like, except we are going to do things completely different."

I guess I should just try and keep my "we are winning!" enthusiasm and realize that this gives me a great writing opportunity to slam (er, distinguish) the cases in their brief. Right? Being excited that I'm given a good opportunity to write well? That's a new level of nerdery, even for me.

nothing to share

2009-03-31T16:42:00.003-06:00

Maybe this blog is headed down the tubes. I just feel so unsatisfied with everything that I write. Plus, my life is pretty damn monotonous, so there's not a lot of fun and new things to share.

Seriously, in the past 3 weeks I've written at least six posts that are going to rot in the saved section because they are either: 1) spiteful and mean because I'm crabby, 2) whiny because law school sucks, 3) bitter because of 1 or 2, or 4) annoying because I am paralyzed by having too many options (which is also kind of whiny).

Maybe its just that time in the semester? Bleh. That seems to be my answer for everything.

Ok, there is one thing that is remotely worth sharing. I like Property. I know. Am freakish and unnatural. This certainly does not translate into any desire to do something involving property after I graduate, but for some reason I get it. I can sit and do 3 days of reading in a row without wanting to pull out my eyeballs. It just clicks for me. But, considering That Thing That Happened With My Grades last semester, I'm almost nervous about liking it, as if liking my classes is a sure path to doom.

clusterfrackery

2009-03-23T22:48:00.003-06:00

...is when you get to the top of the parking garage ramp, press the button so that it will dispense a ticket and open the gate and instead the message pops up: "tickets jammed". And there is no attendant. And the gate does not move. And you must try and reverse and u-turn down the steep ramp before anyone traps you in there. And you need to get on the train actually very soon. And so you drive home (?!) to park and get on the train there. And this last "and" is just intended to make all you hard line grammarians cringe again.

As you can tell, I've returned from spring break with a bang.

I gave myself a real break this time - I didn't read, outline, or write. It felt good, and I needed the mental and emotional break. Unfortunately it has been followed by the rather jarring realization that - frack frack frack - there are only 5 more weeks of class. Ooh. Hmm. I need to catch up on con law. Yes.

It doesn't help that I agreed to do a bunch of really really time consuming stuff this week. Instead, I'm trying to focus on the positive. Like this stuff:

1. Not only have I scored a majorly awesome summer internship, I have also managed to snag one for the fall. (Don't be too jealous, neither are paid)
2. The fact that the cat kept me up all fracking night last night means that I'll sleep like the dead tonight.
3. I'm making onion soup tomorrow. Nom slurp nom.
4. I found a grocery store gift certificate that my mom gave me for Christmas that I had previously lost. Free food!
5. I have a new favorite word. Can you guess what it is? In related news, a new disc of battle-nerd ga-nerd-ica arrives in the mail tomorrow.

I promise to write more betterer posts if you promise to continue reading past this school-heavy/blog-light dry spell*

2009-03-11T22:55:00.006-06:00

Bargained for exchange? I think so.

These couple of weeks before spring break have been quite a doozy. Tomorrow afternoon marks the peak of this mid-semester foothill: practice oral argument. Somehow my writing professor decided that the best timing for practice oral arguments is at the end of our longest day of class, a couple of hours into the evening, on the last day of class before spring break. You know, so that we'll be extra fresh and well-rested. And prepared. And apathetic. Add some lifeless adverbs and this sentence style is probably exactly how I will speak tomorrow night.

So, in lieu of a more elegant, eloquent, entertaining or even lengthy post I will leave you with this sampling of what I would rather be writing about:

1. I got an internship for the summer. Booyah.
2. A friend sent us five extra-large cans of fancy Spanish tuna. Five.
3. I find it a little bit bizarre when staff at the law school send out emails after 10 pm.
4. Fuuuuuuck daylight savings, otherwise known as "that time/light thing that kills my ability to wake up in the morning."
5. My prop prof said in class that while I do not look like someone who would own a garbage truck business, I sound like someone who would own a garbage truck business. Resident gunner-douchebag thought this was the funniest thing he's ever heard.
6. I actually think I'm understanding property. Something is clearly wrong with my brainz.
7. Ohmagaahd if undergrads are going to study in the law building the least they can do is cut down on the damn perfume.
8. Bliss = spontaneous lap-cuddling and purring from a generally standoffish kitteh.
9. Question for 2 & 3Ls: I have another interview next week for a summer (unpaid) internship, even though I've already accepted somewhere else. Can I just explain that I'm interested in interning in the fall during my interview, or do I need to call and let them know ahead of time? (Note: I think I will probably be the only applicant for summer or fall, and she set up the interview without even seeing my resume, telling me to just bring it along when we meet).
10. If you too are on the brink of spring breakage, Have Fun.

*Or If Post Titles Were Like Point Headings: The Story of Writing Phrases that Readers are Guaranteed to Skip Over

update

2009-03-05T18:25:00.002-07:00

The spider water bottle? Best cat toy evaaaaah. It took her a while to catch on that -- hey! -- something is moving in there! Once she did though, holy crap. She could do this for hours.

Teehee!

things I have done tonight that are not reading for con law

2009-03-04T21:10:00.004-07:00

It is well established that I am neurotic. Its the butt of many, many jokes. I have deep appreciation for anyone who can tolerate me despite it. So I know. Ok? I KNoooOW.

Tonight, while reading for con law (really! I was! I swear!) I looked over at my phone and happened to glance what can only be referred to as an extremely unwelcome intruder. Yes, that means a fucking spider. A large fucking spider.

If you've been reading since I started school, you'll know that I kind of have a thing about spiders. You know, a crippling spastic anxiety fear thing. I recently learned that the freaky looking red spiders that I usually see are "harmless." While I take issue with that description, I'm relieved to know that they are at least not poisonous. The one positive thing that I'll say about winter is that it has been relatively spider free. Until now.

This particular fucker was not of the "harmless" red variety, but is about the same size. He was in a place on the wall that made stomping or squarshing kind of awkward, so I went and got a cup to trap him in. But no! He was fucking fast, and darted behind a bookshelf. (You see where this is going right? Right? Exactly).

So I moved the bookshelf, stalking him for about 15 minutes. (Once I made a dinner guest help me move the couch because a spider went under there.) I grabbed an old nalgene. I had never considered this before, but these nasty old water bottles I use are basically just spider containment devices in waiting. And after multiple jobs at the wall, and then the carpet, and then some general freaking out when he made a run towards my feet, success.

Look:

Oh, you can't really see it that well? How about this:

Now the only decision I have to make is whether to give the water bottle to the cat to play with for a few days or to just throw it out now.

let the sun shine in

2009-03-02T23:13:00.003-07:00

Oh, dear sweet readers, I have tested the limits of your patience and tolerance in this past month. And no wonder - February sucks. February is the month in which I go from occasionally mopey to full blown S.A.D. I went down the (non-medicated) rabbit hole, complete with 5-7 hours a day of television, nearly no social contact with anyone other than BF, and oscillation between insomnia and over-sleep. On top of that, I added an unhealthy dose of self-loathing compounded by having to respond to classmates' questions with: no, I have not secured a summer job, thankyouveryeffingmuch. Looking back at my blog writing from February I'm glad now that I hit the save button more often than I hit the publish button, because egad I wrote some pretty self-indulgent I'm-so-sad shit.

So here's to looking up. Here's to March being a (literally) brighter month. Things are off to a great start - I actually felt like I accomplished something this weekend, but didn't make myself miserable in the process. The days are getting longer and warmer, and not even daylight savings time can take the spring out of my step, bitchez. Plus, I promise not to go all sad & crazy-like for at least another 11 months. So, you and me - we're cool, right?

not laughing

2009-02-22T18:41:00.003-07:00

I've been extra complainy lately, I know. February has been a tough month - lots of school work, lots of stress, very little let up. But yo? It is hard to not be complainy when the shit just keeps hitting the fan in such spectacular fashion.

Latest example: this is the weekend before my motion brief is due. It was also BF's birthday, so I took yesterday off and planned to work diligently, all day long, on my brief today. In theory it was an excellent plan. Excellent, until this morning when I discovered that my hot water heater was leaking - soaking the living room and office room floor, carpet, and furniture. So instead of writing and editing and revising and perfecting my citations, I spent the bulk of the day wrangling with various maintenance technicians, moving furniture, and overseeing the carpet pad replacement, carpet shampooing, baseboard removal and water heater repair. And now my apartment is host to two very fucking loud industrial fans to dry the carpet and walls out.

I keep telling myself that it could have been worse. I could have not noticed for a couple of days, the water damage could have been so bad as to force me to move out of this godforsaken apartment into another godforsaken apartment on a different floor. But if that had happened I think I could have legitimately gotten an extension. This is just inconvenient enough to butt up against the limit of suck-it-up-and-finish-your-brief. Its just enough to waste the entire fucking day on, its just enough to bring me a hair's breadth from losing my shit.

Edited to add: The cat's dislike of the industrial fans is even stronger than my own. Poor kitty :(

this is the song that never ends

2009-02-19T22:27:00.003-07:00

Law school is the song that never ends. Doing well in law school is all about your ability to tolerate always having something to do. Not just something that you could be doing but something that you need to do, something that you really ought to be doing.

I am discovering that I have a very low tolerance for that sort of thing. I need a foreseeable end, a lull, a break. I like lists because you can see everything and cross things off and then you're done. I can push myself to workworkworkwork when I know after its over I won't have anything to do. That's why I've always been such a procrastinator - I'm really only willing to put forth the time and energy when I'm going to be immediately rewarded with a break. And until law school, this was a pretty successful system. In work and undergrad things came in cycles. There was down-time. There were days when I had a lot to do and days when I truly had nothing to do. I was used to it and so I got good at it.

In law school, I've always got something that I need to do. When he's here on the weekends, BF asks me if I have a lot of work to do, and my answer is always "yes." It builds - neglect one thing for the sake of something else and you'll end up behind in everything. It wears on me. At the same time I recognize that this is how law school is, and I need to get to a point where it doesn't bother me. Any suggestions?

things I need to do

2009-02-17T22:10:00.002-07:00

The following are some things that I need to do, listed not in the order in which I need to do them, but in the order of what is stressing me out the most. I am apparently only organized in my neuroses.

1. Sweep the bathroom floor. Actually, just clean the whole bathroom.
2. Write thank you cards for my interviewers. FUCK I just remembered this one.
3. Figure out how to get lower interest rates on my credit cards. For about 2 seconds, consider moving back in with my parents.
4. Get a new blade for the totally bombtastic cat brush that has recently become too dull to collect any actual cat hair.
5. (related to #4) Vacuum.
6. Wash dishes.
7. Organize (ie decipher) Property notes. Gah.
8. Do I have another sinus infection? Fuck.
9. Find someone who will accept my free and eager labor for the summer. Harder than it sounds.
10. Exercise. Am becoming squishy.
11. Holy shit its almost March.
12. Holy double shit scholarship application due soon.
13. Do laundry.
14. Need to get boss to send me more stuff to work on. Five hours a week doesn't pay the bills.
15. Buy BF birthday present.
16. Oh yeah, I have a draft due for my brief tomorrow.

Things I have actually spent my time doing tonight, in order of how much stupid time they took:
1. Internet.
2. Two blog posts (duh).
3. Cook and eat whole artichoke. Yum!
4. Watch Law & Order.
5. Play with the cat.
6. Outline my brief for tomorrow.

open letter to classmate

2009-02-17T20:06:00.002-07:00

Dear classmate who sits behind me,

I sometimes like to surf the internet in class. I know that you do not approve of this behavior, but I don't need your approval. I do need you to get the fuck over it.

Sometimes the people in front of me surf the internet and instant message too, and to be honest I don't really notice when they do. Do you know why? Because the professor is not standing right behind their screens. Because I am not a Nosy Nancy, like yourself. Because I do not give a shit what my classmates do in class, as long as it is quiet.

You on the other hand, seem to think that my internet visits are fascinating - so much so that they absolutely prohibit you from paying attention. If that is true, then you might have ADHD. I can barely entertain myself online through 2 hours of con law, I'm blown away that I can entertain you with only half of a screen.

Also, you knew that I surf the internet in class and you still chose to sit behind me. In two classes. Perhaps you do not has the good decision-making skillz.

You've recently adopted a new tactic of telling me, out loud, in class, to stop surfing the internet, and wagging your finger at me. This crosses the line. You're twenty-five years old, its time to stop tattling on your classmates. Yes I should be paying attention, but I'm an adult and so I'm allowed to make my own decisions. You think I'm a slacker. I think you're condescending, nosy, and kind of a bully. Can we just agree to leave it at that?

Thanks a bunch!

Laughing

i thought they weren't supposed to work you to death til 2L

2009-02-11T21:04:00.002-07:00

Do you ever feel like absolutely everything that you look at reminds you of something that you really need to do? I feel like that now, and I've been feeling that way for a couple of weeks. I am not yet ready to accept this as a defining feature of my life.

Only four and a half weeks into the semester and I am completely buried.

the little things

2009-02-02T22:22:00.004-07:00

I know that I complain a lot, about law school and about life in general.

Tonight though I'm only going to share the bliss I get from sitting in bed in my pjs and doing my reading while enjoying a glass of wine and a game of string with the cat.

Things could be worse, no?

the new secret underground

2009-01-27T16:31:00.003-07:00

If I learned one thing about law school from reading blogs it is that spring semester of 1L is supposed to be Super Job Search Time Extraordinaire! Resumes, cover letter, interviews, and call backs are supposed to be the words on everyone's lips. And yet, here I am, three weeks in to the spring semester, and I've witnessed none of this at my school. I understand its early in the process but I'm talking about law students - people who do "type A" so well that it needs a new name. So what's the deal? Are my classmates just not on the ball? (No) Do they all have jobs lined up already? (ha! no) Do they all have lawyer parents who hand out jobs like candy? (barf, but also no)

Today I figured it out: everyone, EVERYONE is staging their own little covert job seeking mission. Everyone is scrambling, and everyone is trying to keep it as under-wraps as possible. All of us have learned the following lessons at the same time: that you don't need to, or even want to, broadcast everything you ever do to your entire class, and that you get a little bit of satisfaction from thinking that you are more on top of it than your classmates. Combine these two items, mix liberally with a vibe of suddenly-cutthroat-competition, and a dash of economic-downturn-panic and you've got it: the secret job search.

I have to admit I'm guilty too, and without even realizing it. For one job in particular, when asked by a potential applicant/classmate about whether I had sent in my materials, I replied, "Oh gosh, I had better get around to that," all the while thinking, "Ha! I sent them in 2 weeks ago!" but also, "maybe if she thinks I haven't done it yet she won't worry about doing it quickly either!" Its opportunistic, its conniving, and its deceptive. I know. And I know I'm not the only one.

So I wonder, even while taking part: why all the secrecy?

who needs sleep?* well you're never gonna get it

2009-01-20T23:45:00.003-07:00

Someday, someday some magical day I will get 7 hours of sleep on a school night. Not tonight, not last night, not tomorrow night, but sommmmmmeday. That night will be glorious. I am staring down the barrel of another 6 hour night and thinking about marginal utility**. That one hour? Its the most important one all night.

The worst part is that I know what the problem is: me. I really need to stop pretending like it is still break and I can still have fun a few (more) nights a week. It is just so hard to give that up, especially when I rationalize and convince myself that its just a couple of hours, that I need to take a break, that my overall quality of life is more important than that one chapter of reading for Legal Writing. In the end, I just guilt myself into doing the reading after 11pm, when I should be sleeping, when I don't retain much of it anyway, when my eyes sting from staring at a computer screen all day. And yes, I realize I'm blogging instead of sleeping right now, and therein lies the rub.

I need to spend this part of the semester shoring up my sleep reserves and immune system so that when flu season hits, when mid-semester freakout hits, when motion brief and appellate brief and moot court and oral argument and scholarship application deadline and everything else hits, I've got some credit.

*10 imaginary bonus points if you can name the band and album that this song title comes from without use of itunes.

**Apologies to readers and to my former self for referencing econ terms in a blog post about sleeping. On the other hand, marginal utility was the only thing that I enjoyed, understood, or retained from econ, a fact which seems to be biting me in the ass in Property. Alas.

why I need a new teapot and also a fire extinguisher

2009-01-18T22:07:00.003-07:00

This is perhaps the most important lesson I have learned in my whole life. It is most certainly more important than anything I have learned in law school, so listen up.

Earlier today I made some instant pasta for lunch. You know the kind, where you mix all the ingredients, heat and then just wait for it to thicken? (Uh, this is not the beginning of a post about my cooking prowess, obvi). Well, since instant pasta doesn't require any sort of special skill or talent, I tend to forget that it is on the burner and let it boil over, which is what happened today.

No big deal, right? Normally, true, no problem at all. I have developed an extremely effective method of cleaning the burner pans with fancy chemicals like vinegar and baking soda. So I sort of filed it away in my head, "need to clean off burner," and went on my merry way.

I went out this evening, and when I came back I decided I would like a cup of tea. I filled the teapot, put it on the stove, and turned to put the clean dishes away. It started to smell a bit, which I thought to be fairly normal considering the burned pasta sauce. Then I turned back to find my teapot completely engulfed in flames. Flames as in campfire. Fuck! Fuck! FUUUUUUUUCK! Fire in my apartment!!

I quickly engaged in some drastically horrible decision-making by reaching around and turning the burner off, and then throwing some water from the pitcher onto it. (Well, I suppose the decision-making could have been worse, I could have thrown the water at the burner before turning it off). At least it stopped the fire. On the other hand it did set off the smoke detectors (yay for safety!), and completely ruined my teapot. So, I need a new teapot, and I may need to invest in a fire extinguisher. There's one in the hall outside my apartment, but as I was looking at the flames it occurred to me that by the time it would take me to get to it, the fire could reach to the towels hanging on the oven door and then....eeeeeeegad.

Moral of the Story: when you spill on the burner pan, clean it off BEFORE using the burner again. Cripes.

weekend update

2009-01-17T15:20:00.004-07:00

1. Law school has officially turned me into a bit of a caffeine junkie. I never really thought there was all that much caffeine in tea (durrr, wrong) and learned this morning that after a week of starting the day with english breakfast, it is not a good idea to skip my morning tea. BF will support that statement, considering the torrent of crabbiness and then I-am-dying-inside headache misery that I unleashed on him this morning. Thank goodness I still think that coffee tastes like ass or I'd be in real trouble.

2. Have you ever wondered what the water smelled like after the Boston Tea Party?

3. I'm feeling much better about law school today than I was yesterday or the day before. I can deal with the fact that I go to school with crazy people much better when I'm not actually in their presence.

4. I think I'm going to like contracts.

5. It is date night with BF. Sushi ahoy!

6. I did mostly alright on my first semester grades. However, having reviewed some of my exams this week, I take issue with some of my professors' grading methods. I was under the impression that if a question asked something along the lines of, "what would you do?" that you are going to be evaluated on the quality of your argument and whether you correctly explain the legal actions you chose. I was wrong. Apparently that questions is code for, "there is only one right answer sucker, it doesn't matter at all if you're a good writer as long as you get the gist of things, and if you can't guess what is in my head then you are SOL." Instead of feeling like I know what I'm in for in terms of spring exams, now even more than before I feel like grades are just a big crapshoot. This does not inspire confidence.

Enjoy the long weekend!

i might be outing myself with this, but...

2009-01-15T21:58:00.002-07:00

This fucking week. It has been a murphy's law kind of week, as anything and everything has sort of gone to shit. And of the things that did not completely go to shit, it was probably the busiest first-week-of-school week I've ever had. Am seriously considering taking a mental health day tomorrow. I know that I wrote in the fall about just "letting it all go" and not holding on to the shitty things that happen long enough to let them upset you, and now I am going to swing back to the other extreme and complain about my week. The content of this post might out me and my anonymous identity to my classmates, but I've kept things pretty tame on this blog in terms of talking shit about others (a tactic which may fall by the wayside in the following list) and I'm in the midst of a full-blown whaaathaaafaaack pout, and need to get some things off my chest. And honestly, if my site stats are any indication, there isn't even anyone in this whole city that reads my blog, so here goes. If you do happen to recognize me as that girl in your section, let's just let this be our little secret mmmmkay?

These are the things that happened this week that were either totally shitty or total time-sucks:

Day 1: Wake up really effing early Monday morning for first day of school with a half of a foot of snow piling down and a busted ass hot water heater.

Day 2: My best friend drops out of law school, pretty much without warning.

Day 3: New professor throws me off kilter with a teaching style that includes walking around the room, through the aisles, as he questions us about property. Being sort of socially awkward, when he stands immediately in front of me, stares down at me and asks me a question, I react by saying this: "You're freaking me out, man". To be fair, he was freaking me out. On the other hand, this is, far and away, worse than any other time that I have ever "lost my shit" in class before in my whole life. Humiliation ensues. Buy some shoes to make me feel better, but somehow inadvertently get a half-size too big.

Day 4: At the point when I have started to get over my extreme embarrassment re: Day 3 events, girl in my class says about it: "I think you were just making it up for the attention". Spend contracts daydreaming about punching her in the face. Cat knocks over one of my two surviving orchids. Walk around cold downtown for 45 minutes looking for a restaurant, only to decide on a place a half-block from where we started. Also, major car issues ground my vehicle for the 3rd time in as many weeks. Cannot exchange the big shoes without driving, feel mocked by gorgeous unwearable footwear.

Many of these stories deserve entire posts of their own, especially days 2 and 3. At some point when I am not in a funk I will be able to reflect in a way that does justice to day 2's issues and consequences, and day 3's humor. If I go to school tomorrow, it will be without doing the reading. Right now I am going to bed.

oh crap, this again

2009-01-11T19:59:00.002-07:00

Second semester starts tomorrow. I did not drink nearly enough wine for break to be over. Bah humbug.

if you think I'm sexy, and you want my res'me, come on baby let me know

2009-01-07T18:18:00.002-07:00

There is something new that I am doing that I hate worse than any other school or job related thing that I have ever had to do before: write cover letters. I hate it with the power of a thousand suns. I hate it worse than going to the dentist. I hate hate HATE haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. "Dear Ms Lawyer, I'm a 1L at such-and-such law school, and I'm contacting you as a result of my budding interest in such-and-such a kind of law." That phrase, that idea, that kind and amount of making ridiculous shit up just to grovel enough that someone will hire me for NO PAY makes me want to pull out my eyeballs. Plus, is there any way to say "hey I have no experience and no particular reason to want to work for you, but for the love of god give me an internship" that doesn't make you sound pathetic and ridiculous and desperate, and is there any way to say it that won't make my stomach turn? I am about a third of the way through my first stupid letter and it has taken me 2 hours to write 2 stupid sentences. Gah. Why, why is this so fucking difficult?

Resolutions & Goals 2009

2009-01-01T22:29:00.003-07:00

New Years Resolutions are one of my absolute favorite bandwagons to jump on, because I crave the sort of arbitrary accountability they create. I'm one of those people who will write my tasks down in a list simply for the satisfaction of crossing them off when complete, so this is a tradition that I'm game for pretty much every year. I tend to make two lists though, one for Resolutions and one for Goals. Resolutions are measurable and tangible behaviors that I want to get in the habit of doing, and goals are usually broader, less quantifiable aims I'd like to achieve. So here it goes:

Resolutions:
1. Exercise. I know, I know, always on everyone's list. However, I have a preexisting medical condition that could seriously jeopardize my health and well-being if I continue to slack on this one, so no more excuses. To be realistic though I'm starting small - 2 workouts a week, at least one of which should be a yoga class at the gym. Any maybe I'll give this another go.

2. Get up earlier. I am convinced that my desire to sleep in originates solely from my poor sleep habits. I love the feeling of accomplishing a lot early in the day. Plus, this will make me more inclined to go to bed earlier, and perhaps that will help put an end to the perennial struggle of trying to fall asleep during BF's atomic-boom-snoring.

3. Keep my car clean, inside and out. Includes monthly car wash, and weekly interior-shit-accumulation cleaning.

4. Keep my apartment clean. To be fair, this is a habit I've been trying to develop for a few months now, with some success. Putting it on my list just helps keep me accountable. On the other hand, I've made a lot of excuses this semester about law school making me too busy to clean. However, when I went to visit family and saw my aunt who keeps her house beautifully clean (without outside help) despite it being 3-4 times larger than my apartment, and despite having a full time job, marriage, dog, and three teenagers, I decided it was time to suck it up and stop making excuses.

5. Try 2 new recipes a month. This will keep me thinking about developing a health and exciting diet, without being too overwhelming. New recipes take a lot more time and planning than familiar ones, especially since I'm still building my spice and pantry reserves. One a week is too many, one a month is too few.

6. Record all my purchases in my monthly budget. I used to do this, but gave up entirely after I got internet banking. In retrospect, taking the time to remember and record all of my purchases myself makes me a lot more aware of what and how I'm spending than if I just look at my balances online.

Goals:
1. Develop better financial habits. Resolution #6 is a big part of this because I think it will help me make and stick to a realistic budget, and will reduce impulse/emotional purchasing. Paying off half of my credit card debt this year is the other big part of this goal. My credit card debt is especially frustrating to me right now, because I have already gotten into the habit of making better financial decisions than when I amassed most of that debt, but it is now that I am stuck with the constant consequences of my past mistakes. Moreover, BF and I have decided to start saving for some big things in the future (like a house) and that's something I can't contribute to right now because my rates are increasing and I'm faced with large monthly payments. I know that paying down my debt is a small contribution to our ability to buy a house, but I'd like to be saving money too.

2. Develop better study habits. I'm sort of stumped in terms of breaking this down into tangible parts, because I find that my study habits are different for every class, and they just sort of develop as I go. I do think that it will be easier this semester, given that I have a much better idea of what I'm in for. After making my outlines, one thing that I know I need to do is go over the day's notes that evening. I went through so many notes that probably made sense as I was tying them, but after 3 months meant almost nothing to me. Reviewing my notes will help me to avoid this in the future, and will hopefully reinforce short and long term memory. Other than that, I'm hoping that the legal timekeeping I'm doing for my new job will spill over into my study time and make me more aware of how much time I waste. (I already know this much: I waste a lot of time). I'm welcome to suggestions and assvice in this area, and will probably check in on this goal more than any other.

1L.1 in review

2008-12-28T19:15:00.002-07:00

This semester has gone by faster than any that I can remember. Because of that (and because I am a nostalgic goon) I thought I'd run through the highlights and low points on 1L.1.

The semester went a lot more smoothly than I imagined it would. My personal life didn't self-destruct, my apartment wasn't a constant mess explosion, I didn't gain or lose a bunch of weight and I managed to preserve my mental health to my satisfaction. I had really hyped law school before starting, and while that made things a little rough for a while, I think ultimately I adjusted because I realized that it wasn't worth going crazy over.

In terms of academics, I really like law school. I like the class material, I like the reading subject matter, I like the way that the classes are taught (with greater and lesser skill by profs), I like that my classmates are by and large intelligent individuals who are prepared for class, I like the idea of what I'm learning. My substantive classes this semester were civ pro, torts and crim, and I found each of them intriguing in different ways. In some ways this puts me in a weird spot, because I liked everything enough to not know what I want to learn more about, whether in classes or a summer job. Yes, the workload is heavier than in college, but since I'm actually interested in what I'm learning (and since I see actual application of what I'm learning) it doesn't really bother me that there is a lot of work. Honestly, I don't think that it is an unmanageable amount of work, and I'm a bit surprised at people who do. Overall, I think law school was the right choice for me.

On the other hand, in terms of the social aspects, I'm still a bit iffy on everyone. Maybe I'm just someone who needs more time to adjust to social situations, and maybe I'll really find my niche in the spring. I hope so. I have found one really, really great friend, and there are a few people who I like to hang out with. I'm still wary though because of the drama that has happened to me and to my section-mates. Seeing the same 80 people day in and day out, hanging out with them evenings and weekends, having all our classes together, doing all of the same things at the same time - it wears on me. Its no wonder there is drama, we don't have a lot to talk about aside from ourselves and each other. I'm not used to the pressure of competition, to the scrutiny that comes with spending so much time together, and most of all I'm not used to being around so many know-it-alls. With so many cooks in the kitchen my response is usually, "Fuck it. I'm going home for some quiet time." And when you're the person that bails, its hard to make friends.

I'm also still somewhat unsatisfied with the mixing of law school and my pre-law school personal life. On the one hand I feel like I spent A LOT of time dicking around this semester (law and order, anyone?). On the other hand I feel like I almost never had time to spend with my BF, with my friends from college that also moved to Law School City, or to go back to my home town and hang with friends and family there. I think that the obvious absence of non-law school social life contributed to being unsatisfied with my law school social life. Plus, I didn't realize how weird it would be to try and talk about law school with "outsiders". My friends and family are really interested to hear how things are going and if I'm doing well and enjoying it, but for the most part that's about it. Its hard to bring people up to speed on the very particular world that law school is, and its frustrating because sometimes I really need an outside view. It doesn't help that I really miss my home town, and that every time I'm there all I can think about is how great my life will be once I'm out of school and can actually live the way that I want to.

Ultimately, in spite of being less enthusiastic about the social aspects, I really like law school and I'm glad I made this choice. This is getting a bit new year-clean slate, but hopefully I can use this reflection in a positive way to help me shape the next semester into being better than the last.

pick me, choose me, love me

2008-12-22T23:14:00.004-07:00

Or at least give me a summer job? Ugh.

Recommendation to Career Services Office: next year, instead of saying that we should get settled into our studies and that's why we can't get started on the fun of job searching til later in the fall, you should tell students to get all their reading and outlines done super early so that they may spend the end of the semester working on resumes and sending out cover letters. Because, based on your lovely Career Services Guidebook, that is clearly what you expected ME to do in November and December, and it would have been nice to have had some heads up.

Winter Break - HA! Otherwise known as "time in which you have no classes but are starting your new job, spending way too much time trying to see the people you have neglected for the past four months, prepping with your moot court partner, cramming every possible health and other related appointments into the same 3 weeks as everyone else, and oh yeah, SPENDING ALL YOUR EXTRA TIME TRYING TO GET A SUMMER JOB." Winter Break laughs at me and my foolish naivete in thinking that Winter Break means the same thing this time around as it did in college. I miss the time in my life when relaxing meant watching tv or reading for fun. Now it just means pretending that finishing up my apartment-related chores was really how I wanted to spend my afternoon.

I know I'm being a bit screechy, but it hit me today while I was thinking about exams and sort of lamenting my "meh" grade on my last memo that I may benefit from getting those cover letters out before grades start to surface, you know, just in case. Which.....means now. Which.........ack. Also, if you haven't noticed, I'm not entirely full of the good cheer and patience needed for the fun of job searching.

So, while I'll be spending the next few days not actually doing anything to help me land summer employment, I will be trying desperately to drum up some motivation. Maybe spending Christmas with my family will help me to remember that if I don't get good summer jobs in school then I won't get a job after graduation and I'll have to move back in with my parents and then I will go fully and completely insane. That or I'll find my motivation at the bottom of one of the many mimosas I plan on drinking on Christmas day.

what comes in sixths besides law school?

2008-12-16T23:34:00.003-07:00

I am done with finals. Err, sorry, I meant I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING HAPPY TO BE DONE WITH THOSE GODDAMN FINALS. And also exhausted, mentally and physically. My brain is, on the one hand, blissfully numb and on the other is feeling the pain of intensive thinking withdrawal. I feel like I ought to still be doing something - there has got to be something - and I cannot just sit and relax. It doesn't help that during the month long reading period/finals period I put a lot of day to day stuff off, so in addition to the types of (non-school) projects that I usually have saved up for winter break I also have a lot of menial tasks to catch up on. I'm also going out of town for a few days, which I haven't done for winter break since elementary school. Plus this winter break is about a week and a half shorter than what I am used to from college, so it really does feel like I'll have no chance to stop and rest.

I tried a few times to write about my finals. Unfortunately I think the pressure of exams and my own coping mechanisms encouraged me to be even more fickle than usual, to the extent that by the time I was done writing a post I didn't still feel the way that I had described, and I didn't really feel comfortable sharing the various stages I went through.

At this point I don't even know how I feel about the exams, or how I should feel. There were moments in the past few weeks when I felt like I did really good on my exams. These bursts of confidence proved to be great motivators. I thought, "hey, if I did that well on that exam, I could certainly do well on this one if I just put in the time." There were moments when I feared that I did horribly. I doubted myself, I criticized my own methods of study and of dealing with stress, I wondered if I was sabotaging myself subconsciously.

I learned that I need to feel like I did well while I wait for results, regardless of how I do in the end. If that means skipping the post-exam bar outing so that I don't have to hear anyone talk about what they did and did not include, I'm ok with that. I'm desperately trying to hold onto the feeling of having done well for the next six weeks or so until the grades are finalized and released. Its so anticlimactic to think that I will have started classes again before I know my grades. The uncertainty of the tangible results adds to my uncertainty about how I feel about the experience.

But holy crap, I survived a semester of law school.

lessons in legalese

2008-12-01T23:38:00.003-07:00

From my civ pro notes:

"motion for a new trial: there has been a defect/mistake in the conduct of the trial, and there is no way to cure that mistake short of a do-overs"

I especially like that "do-overs" is pluralized. Also, this is a great example of why I might fail civ pro. If that happens I will link to this post with a See citation.

goals for finals

2008-12-01T22:26:00.002-07:00

In the spirit of not turning into a complete pathetic excuse for a human being in the next two weeks, I have made some goals:

1. shower - aim for once a day but will accept once every other day
2. leave apartment at least once every other day
3. do only enough cleaning that my apartment is roughly as clean as it was before finals started
4. remember to check the mail
5. remember to water the plants (too bad they don't meow when they're hungry)
6. oh yeah, remember to eat more real meals than junk food
7. do not go to the grocery store past 9pm
8. put on real pants and a real shirt when I leave the house
9. take vitamins every day
10. pass all of my classes
11. try not to bore BF to death

In other words, my strategy is to aim low and take encouragement from otherwise unremarkable events in order to keep my spirits artificially high. Its sort of like thinking of the day you start your period as "Yay I'm not Pregnant Day" instead of "Horrible Misery & Pain Day" (and it is too bad if that grosses you out, it is late and I am tired and my brain is all wonky and I cannot think of a better analogy).

I am desperately looking forward to knocking these classes out of the way. I sort of love the end of the semester because if I just keep studying it goes by so quickly, and the *POOF* its over and I can return to my more natural state of vegging.

mastering avoidance

2008-11-23T22:12:00.004-07:00

It is the official end of classes which means it is also the unofficial beginning of staying the fuck away from the law building. I've even cleaned out my locker. What with the cold weather I am already less inclined to leave the house, and if my netflix continue to ship I may become a real law school hermit. I've decided that my quarantine should also include facebook, because there is only so much "Susie is done with all her outlines!!!" or "Billy is spending 14 hours in the lawbrary :)" that I can take before my eyeballs start vibrating inside their sockets, and I really do need to go easy on my eyeballs. So, between not leaving the house and no facebook, I'll probably be doing a lot more blogging with a lot less substance! Yay!

But people who are already done with their outlines? Apparently I am quite out-done in the hermit department because I am not nearly finished. And seriously? Its still 2 weeks until the FIRST exam, and we're not done until halfway through Decembers. How many practice tests can you really take? As for me, I'm going to try and stick with slow and steady (and relatively calm) wins the race. Or at least slow and steady lands in the top half and gets to keep her scholarship.

More than anything I can't wait to start break. With visions of sugarplums (nintendo, actually hanging out with my BF, baking, reading for fun and eating Mom's food) already dancing in my head I know its going to be a long 3 and a half weeks. I just have to try and remember that the more focused I am, the faster it will go.

things I do not like about civ pro installment #726

2008-11-22T17:19:00.000-07:00

words that start with i- and end with -pleader

blogging under the influence

2008-11-20T00:56:00.002-07:00

Blogging under the influence is very slow because I do not want to make typos, so I am doing a lot of delete button pressing. Today was the END of this semester's Legal Writing. WOOOOO. I am happy. And live puppy cam (have you seen live shiba inu puppies?!: they make civ pro so much less depressing) And so I drank some wine.

Here are things I have thought about this week:

1. My cat has the same reaction to the smell of vinegar as she does to the smell of Emergen-C, which makes me question my cold-fighting tactics.
2. Having to go back into my memo and put an extra space at the end of every sentence is bullshit. Anyone with Office2008 for Macs know how to get that shit auto-formatted?
2. Actually: legal citations can suck it.
3. If there is one way to spot a 1L it is to observe the printing area the week a memo is due.
4. Despite #2, I might actually be interested in law review (something I resisted for a long, long time). We will see.
5. It takes a lot less to get me drunk these days.
6. But I am a much better cook.
7. I would probably be even more of a pathetic cat lady without a cat because having a cat gives me an outlet for a lot of my loneliness.
8. I am having some sort of weird skin reaction to something. My face-skin is suddenly bumpy, but the bumps are not visible. This morning it covered my chin up to my mouth, but now it is all the way up to the top of my cheeks. At what point do I start to freak?
9. I love my state.
10. But I do not love stupid career services saying that they want to know where we are interested in practicing so that they can help us get jobs in those places, except that when I am interested in my home town which is only an hour away from law school city, then I am On My Own.
11. I am kinda good at peer pressure.
12. I don't feel bad about that. Should I?
13. Also actually: career services can suck it.
14. I have approximately $50 with which to buy all my Christmas presents. Uh Oh.
15. I have lost my student ID. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. I need my student ID to get the free public transportation. Shit. Also (see #14) I do not have enough money to get a new one with.
16. I have a strange and disgusting urge to use See and See e.g. in real life. Because I am awkward.
17. I lurve wine.
18. Oomlats would make English so much more fun.
19. I would enjoy law school so much more if I got to pick my classes.
20. Someone dropped out a week before finals! Whoa! Weird! Expensive! UnBElievable.
21. I am going to have to drag my butt out of bed way earlier next semester. I need a gradual brightening SAD lamp.
22. I said butt and not ass. I maybe am becoming a lady.
23. No motherfucking way.
24. I am entering a profession that requires pantyhose. SHIT.
25. There should be a day when men are required to wear pantyhose. And then we would never ever have to wear it again.
26. Why are there about 15 seasons of Law & Order but only 6 seasons on dvd?
27. Also, I lurve netflix.
28. Also, I lurve my cat.
29. Except when she kills my orchids.
30. But then sometimes she helps me find bugs.
31. Law school paranoia has given me a weird finger-save-command-urge. I have Command-S'ed this page like 18 times.
32. Wow my typing is a lot better now than it was in June. The handwriting has kind of tanked though.
33. I could never be a vegan because cheese is one of my chief joys in life.
34. Also because of Thanksgiving turkey.
35. Is it wrong to wish that I could go to my own parent's instead of BF's parents for Thanksgiving?
36. The first year I attempt a Thanksgiving on my own I will judge myself against Pieces of April.
37. Right now I stick to bringing the wine.
38. Law school is better than grad school because we get a lot of free lunch.
39. But when my friends in grad school compare law school and grad school and act like they are the same thing I want to punch them in their well-rested faces.
40. I have a law job sort of, starting the day after finals. More to come later.
41. Since I have moved my jade plant, my orchid, and my wonky cool euphorbia have died. Sad.
42. I need a community gardening plot soooooooo bad.
43. I do not belive that we should bail out the auto industry.
44. But I do believe I should learn to make sweet potato pie.
45. Civ Pro (and maybe Crim Pro but I have no experience) should be taught as practical skills courses like Legal Writing.
46. I am somewhat OCD and need 5o items to complete this list.
47. Sometimes I leave the puppy cam on in a tab and forget about it, and then I am a little weirded out when I hear wimpering from my speakers.
48. It is egg nog time! Yay!
49. Which means it is almost Girl Scout Cookie Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
50. Law school has turned me from sort of a nerd into a complete nutter. Is that a tort?

memomg

2008-11-17T12:37:00.002-07:00

Legal writing has turned me into a wreck. Have not showered for 2 days. Skipped school today to write this beast of memo, which would not have been that beastly if the research hadn't taken up 3/4 of the time that I had set out for the whole thing.

Also, law school has turned my apartment into a wreck. Well, law school and a broken dishwasher. Dishes keep coming out with white filmy stuff (detergent? hard water stains? who the fuck knows), and teensy food particles, and yet we keep trying to run it, hoping MAYBE THIS TIME it will work. Have gone through a remarkable amount of vinegar and baking soda in past 2 days (same days in which I have not showered or left the house). Have tried handwashing dishes that come out of dishwasher, and lucky for me I only have to wash them 3 TIMES before all the weird shit comes off. In hopes that dishwasher would magically fix itself, BF and I kept using dishes without handwashing them this weekend. All dishes now dirty, including silverware. May starve for lack of utensils. No money to eat out. Please send help or pizza.

Will report back after memo has been conquered.

PLEASE

2008-11-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

Please please please go and Barack the Vote today.

bug front: nothing to report, law school front: assvice

2008-11-03T23:44:00.005-07:00

I resist saying that there have been fewer bugs lately, because they probably have freaky psychic powers and would know that I had let my guard down and then they would come out in droves. So...I'll just say that I'm glad for a few below freezing nights.

I've already read a few other bloggers' posts giving advice to future 1Ls. Generally it strikes me as the blind leading the blind, or as some thinly veiled attempt to talk about characteristics or behaviors that the blogger finds annoying (which I can definitely get on board with). Either way, its a bandwagon I've decided to jump onto. Future 1Ls can take the following as advice, former 1Ls can take it as commentary and anyone else can take it as one woman's short-sighted and naive insight.

More than anything else that I can say, law school is not what I expected. I did not expect to enjoy my classes (at least for the first year) and I really do. I expected to be terribly intimidated by the socratic method and I'm not. I expected that the level of competition would motivate me to study nearly constantly and it doesn't. I expected to derive a lot of energy from that competition and I find that it drains every bit of energy and motivation out of me. I expected that this blog would help me to deal with the crazies that I encounter and it instead magnifies my irritation. I never expected to miss my hometown for a second. I expected competition to be more overt. I expected there to be more jerks. I did not expect to struggle so much with these damn outlines.

I say this because I am a planner. I was sure that I knew what I was in for. I read every single entry of every single law school blog I could find. I bought or borrowed countless pre-law school books. Its fair to say that I knew that I would spend a significant amount of time studying, that I knew that dealing with grades would be mentally and emotionally difficult, and that I knew there would be competition. What I didn't know, what has had the most impact, is that I didn't know how I would react.

Its bizarre in a lot of ways to reflect on how I've reacted to the various situations, academic and otherwise, that law school has thrown at me. Doing that reflection is one of the reasons I started this blog, and yet I can already tell that in one tiny way I have started to outgrow one of the purposes of my blog. I expected to use this space to vent about fricking morons in my classes, and to be fair I've taken the opportunity to do that a few times (and I'll probably do it a few more times). But I've also realized that the act of remembering some stupid thing for long enough to blog about it means that I just have time to think about the thing and stew. Instead of chilling I reinvest in the drama and then complain about how ohmygodnooneevergivesanythingup. Yes, I'm put off by my classmates' propensities to be know-it-alls and by the fact that most people think that your business is their business, but I get a lot more sleep if I don't keep rerunning things thinking "How can I make this funny or interesting enough to put on the internet?"

So my assvice? Don't hold on to things in law school. Don't hold on to the feeling of the first legal writing grade (barf) or the way that everyone was weird during orientation. Don't hold on to the passive-aggressive comments of the people who do better or of the people who do worse than you. Don't hold on to the fact that some people are incredibly friendly one minute and incredibly icy the next. Don't hold on to the kind of law you think you want to practice (at least not to the exclusion of all else). Don't hold on to the fact that you were always the person who got all As. Don't hold on to being able to speak well in class, and don't hold on to sounding like a freaking idiot. Time is limited in law school and free time even more so. All I'm saying is that if you're going to hold on to something, make sure its worth it.

these are a few of kitty's favorite things

2008-10-21T21:34:00.004-06:00

I've been feeling somewhat guilty lately for quasi-neglecting my cat. She's certainly fine and gets enough food and water, but has been getting the short end of the attention stick lately. When I don't spend as much time playing with her she gets a little ornery and then I find myself in a pretty heavy spray bottle rotation. So I tried getting her some new toys so she could focus on them and maybe please leave the houseplants alone (forchrissakesstopdumpingovermyorchids!)

These are the toys that we have bought her:
1. Thing in a Bag: little vibrating motor in a paper bag
2. Boingy birdy: feathery bird sits on spring and bounces around when batted at, also plays chirps when struck hard enough.
3. Cat nip
4. Ping pong balls
5. Cat nip filled chewy toys
6. Cat nip filled crinkly toys
7. Mouse that spins around in a circular track

These are the things that my cat actually likes to play with:
1. Jade plant leaves
2. Vertical blinds: she only likes to play with them when I'm sleeping though
3. Every single hair tie on the face of the damn earth
4. Shower curtain
5. Her food: omgteenytinyhockeypucks!!!!!! Also, since there are probably 85 kibbles under the fridge, stove and dishwasher, possibly the source of my troubles
6. My legs
7. My backpack: mostly for naps
8. Twist ties
9. Cardboard boxes
10. Anything in the forbidden closet
11. Occasionally ping pong balls, although that got old really fast
12. Shoelaces
13. Pens: but only when I am actually writing something
14. Measuring tape: sometimes used to get the ping pong balls out from under the stove
15. DVDs that are left out of their cases
16. My contacts case

I would be more than happy to supply her with plenty of the things that she likes to play with (except the house plants and kibble) but even it doesn't seem to hold her attention for very long. There's really only so much more abuse my plants can take, poor things (uh, oddly heightened mothering instinct? perhaps). In general my cat is great: she doesn't tear up the furniture, she doesn't bite or scratch, she always goes in the box (and even tries to sweep up her own litter if it gets out of the box), she lets me groom her so there's less hair around, and with the exception of the jade, she generally only damages the plants if they are in between her and somewhere she wants to be (like the inch-and-a-half between the plant and the wall). I just want her to keep being great despite the fact that Mommy is not playing Catch the String much anymore. Any ideas?

law school has it in for me

2008-10-21T20:59:00.003-06:00

What the fack? I got all geared up at the beginning of this week to really power through the last few weeks of class, to get caught up (and even ahead) in my classes, and to be on the ball for going into career services in a couple of weeks.

Then, this afternoon I noticed another little twinge in my throat. Six hours later and I am full-strength sick again. AGAIN.

I think probably BF and I are just trading this thing back and forth at this point, but in my nyquil stupor it also feels a little bit like law school is smiting me for my upstart sass. If law school could talk it would say "I will crush your plucky and resilient spirit whether I have to inflict back to back sinus infections for a year! Bwahahahaha." I try to keep law school from killing me slowly from the inside (emotionally) but holy crap on a cracker could I please catch a damn break? I've been sick for a month. I've pretty much used up all my absences and one of my professors even described me as looking like "death warmed over." I take my EmergenC and echinacaea and drink lots of water and tea and chicken soup. Boohoo. I can't wait for Christmas break.

hitting the wall and also the fan, or why it is perfectly resonable to be drinking wine at 3pm

2008-10-16T15:34:00.005-06:00

Y'all. I know that you are ready to stop hearing about spiders. I know that you are thinking "grow the fuck up." I know. And so I'm sorry, but I got all heebyjeeeby just now and had to go kill a very creepy looking spider on the outside of the patio window. Yes, the outside, because our damn patio door doesn't seal and I just knew it would creep in here and crawl on my neck just as I settled down to watch Law & Order and then I would maybe pee in my pants.

And I thought for once I will google these little bastards and find out what the fuck they are. No luck so far, and I now think that was a bad idea, since I just about jumped out of my skin when on of these ones wiggled. Fuck you, whoever animated that, fuck you.

Also, my shirt popped open twice on the train ride home today. In front of strangers. It was a day where the top button was doing more than its fair share in keeping my bobs* in captivity, and as much as I love public transportation, I do not feel like rewarding it with a free show. Or two. Between my catch and release bobs and another motherfucking spider, I decided that this is A Great Time to Drink Wine.

Plus, this post is mostly going to be about acklawschoolargghwtffffff and I thought maybe some wine would help me to type words and not just sounds. Sangiovese = yumyumyumyum.

So, last week I sorta hit the wall. We had a fairly serious midterm in one of my classes and although I wasn't super stressed about it I did suffer from anxiety-by-proxy thanks to some of my Extreme Freakout Law School Edition friends. I thought that the test went marginally ok (not great), but afterwards what I mostly felt was "meh." As in: reading? meh. briefing cases? meh. cleaning apartment? meh. law school? meh. showering? meh. reading other people's blogs and lamenting the fact that I chose this route instead of becoming a writer? yes, lots and lots of that. wishing I had a job to pay off some of this copious debt? I could probably sign up for that.

It was uncomfortable, it was boring, and it made me re-evaluate what I am doing and why I am doing it. I thought about all the reasons I came to law school, about how much I like law school, and about the fact that law school is just one of those things that I have to do to get what I want. I decided that I'm in it for the long haul.

Then the midterm grades came out, and lo, the shit did hiteth the fan-eth**. I did really well, and I was so happy and proud of myself. Twinkly, my law school bestie, also did really well and I'm so happy for her too. I planned on not telling any other law schoolies my grade, and things were great for about 5 minutes. Then, I sort of got caught off guard and engaged in some remarkably poor decision-making and told another friend of ours (when she asked!) what my grade was. She was pretty much asking everybody, and not reacting super well when people were unwilling to share. Twinkly and I both did better than she did, and she did not react well to this news. There also may or may not have been some sharing of our grades with others, without permission (uh, very un-dude).

It all reminded me of why I sort of hit the wall last week, and of why this competition thing makes me hate law school. I do my best to consider the competition in the abstract, and to not apply it to my peers, because even when they are batshit-crazy-stressed out they're still great people who I love having in my classes.

And? It is ok for me to be happy about the grade I got. I walked out of that test expecting to get a C or maybe a B-, and I was emotionally prepared for that possibility. I worked hard and I earned a good grade. I've certainly learned the lesson of Not Sharing My Grade For the Love of God, but others would do well to learn that If You Ask You Should Be Ready to Accept the Answer. It wouldn't be ok for me to mistreat my classmates just because they did worse than I, so its not ok to mistreat classmates who do better.

If any of us are going to make it through law school, we all have to learn that basing our self-worth on our grades is a colossally bad idea. Sure, I feel great about my grade, but it doesn't make me think that I am any smarter than I thought I was before. It doesn't make me feel like I'm any smarter than my classmates, because I know that people have awful bad days, and people get sick, and people get test anxiety, and people get writer's block, and people get bad grades and then work really hard and get great grades. I am just me. You are just you. We are smart people. So can we please now get over it?

*I am using bobs to keep down the p*rn searches and also because that is what I say in real life. Try it. It sounds funny.
**10 imaginary bonus points if you can name the movie reference, for it is one of my all-time favorite movies.

WaMu probably should have steered clear of those too

2008-10-15T22:39:00.004-06:00

My most common and most favoritest law school typos:

joing & several: reminds me of "shwing" à la Wayne's World

thrust fund: uh, yes please

this blog is no longer about law school but is instead about my battles with various insects

2008-10-13T22:56:00.003-06:00

I now break from your regularly scheduled law school whining to bring you this, my most recent psychotic break:

My next post was going to be about the recent shitsplosion that has happened to my law school friends, or about my mid-semester crisis and subsequent doing absolutely nothing, or about something brilliant that I thought up the other night when BF woke me up at 2 am because he was having a nightmare (only I can't remember exactly what it was), or about how I think that the worst Sex & the City burn ever is that iTunes thinks that it is similar to the 1st Wives Club. My next post (this one) WAS going to be about one of these things, and my next post still may be about some of those things (I like the word shitsplosion and I fully intend to use it).

But. Alas, for there are more motherfucking bugs in my apartment.

I have briefly mentioned before that I am not a lover of spiders. As a matter of fact I am not a fan of any bugs that come into my home (if they would just stay outside!!!). In order of slightly decreasing hatred:

#1 Spiders
#2 Earwigs
#3 Unrecognizable, but gross looking, other bugs
...
#1,000,000 Roly-polies
#1,000,001 Lady bugs
#1,000,002 Caterpillars
#1,000,003 Lightning bugs
#1,000,004 Butterflies

Cockroaches are not in the top 3 because I am lucky to live in a place where there are hardly any around, and in their absence I like to pretend that they do not exist. Also, in my Which Law School Will I Go To pro/con list I put "not many icky bugs in the geographical area" in the pro column for the school I ultimately chose.

When I decided to call it a night 20 minutes ago and came into the bedroom only to find a crawly of the #3 type, ON MY DAMN PILLOW, it became immediately clear that I would not be able to go to sleep right away. And so, to get my mind off of the real bug, I am blogging about this and other recent encounters of the icky kind.

One morning last week I encountered 3 spiders in or near the bed within 5 minutes of waking up. It was at that exact moment that I decided I fucking hate where I live and we are not renewing our lease. We've already had pest control spray once, and that did absolutely nothing to stem the tide. I blame the shit-tay construction of our shit-tay apartment complex (like the fact that the door doesn't seal all the way, and that none of the damn trim actually touches any of the damn floor). BF blames the time of year, and tries to comfort me by saying that they will come inside and soon die. This is crazy talk, as it seems much more likely that they will come inside and nestle themselves in my belongings and multiply and eat my hair and maybe scare me to death.

The cat is useless. Also in the pro column of Getting A Cat was, "will eat bugs in my house". This was a LIE that other cat-owners told me. My cat is nearly perfect in every other way, but all she ever does is meow at the bugs, and occasionally chase them.

Also significant: I have never before lived in an apartment. I have only previously lived in houses, where there is nature on ALL FOUR SIDES of my home. All of these houses have been at least 30 years old. And somehow, in this apartment built 7 years ago, where there is nature on ONLY ONE SIDE of me there are more bugs than I have ever ever ever seen in my life.

So if you're passing by a poorly built, maintained and managed apartment complex in a part of the country that doesn't have many cockroaches and you hear "guhgaaaahguhugh eeeeeeeeeeuuuuwwwww ick ick uhahha aha aha pheeeewwww," then you will know that you have found the non-internet human being behind this horrible-excuse-for-entertainment blog, and that I am killing a spider.

I spy with my little eye...

2008-10-07T08:44:00.002-06:00

...an undergrad in the lawbrary. Doing math homework. Geteth ye to the safety of the student union, young lad, else ye shall incur the wrath of the crabby law students.

reasonable belief in imminent punching of faces

2008-10-06T21:50:00.002-06:00

I am thisclose to punching some faces. I have discovered two somewhat related things that I do not like about law school: 1) the fact that people think it is totally ok to be meddlesome, nosy and all-up-in-everybody's-business and 2) the failure of my classmates to recognize when they need to STFU.

As we approach midterms I find that I am having more and more experiences that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Have these people not learned how to be adults? No one but me needs to be concerned with how I spend my time, whether or not I check my email during class, and how/when I get my work done.

I understand that some people think that I'm a fool for checking my email in class, who would rather go without sleep than come to class under-prepared, and who schedule every quarter hour of every day, and who base their entire self-worth on whether they give a good response when called on in class. Certainly, anyone who that system works for should use it. I am not one of those people.

Finishing every last page of reading isn't going to do me any good if I don't get enough sleep, because there is no way I'll be coherent enough to understand what is going on in class anyway. I need some down time every day - usually mid afternoon. Anonymous grading means there is no shame in saying "I don't know." And if checking my email is the only way I can get something useful out of my tuition dollars that are wasted on stupid comments in class, then I'm going to do it. The next person who tries to keyboard shortcut quit Firefox on my computer should expect a karate chop to the face.

While I'm ranting, another thing that people need to tone down is the incessant exam-chatter. These are just midterms, calm the Eff down. I neither need nor want to hear about how many hours you spent in the library. I don't want to see your flashcards. I don't care what you think is probably going to be on the test. STFU. If you really need to share your inner monologue, get a blog like the rest of us narcissists. I'm sure you can trick at least a couple of law school hopefuls into believing that you, 1L, are a master of torts. I, however, am not interested.

That being said...good luck on midterms for anyone who has them!!

neglect and lemmings

2008-10-05T12:26:00.004-06:00

Apparently my cat has decided that the best way to get any attention is to lay down either on my textbook or on top of my keyboard. She's probably right. The problem is that now she does it almost every time I sit down to study.

So, which is worse for lonely kitty: staying at school longer & working more efficiently, but ultimately spending less time at home OR being home more often but getting work done a lot slower?

The answer would be pretty obvious except that spending much time at school forces you into the nutjob lemming herd that is just about to run off the cliff: outlineoutlineoutlinestudystudylibrarydon'tdrinkthewaterinthelawbuildingoutline - and pets are great anti-anxiety medicine. (Hm. Remember the Lemmings computer game? I loved that game! I wonder if it is still around.)

It's just a little weird when I open my laptop at school and cat hair flies in all directions.

in which I am a poor example of natural selection

2008-10-02T16:33:00.003-06:00

Oi. I was all amped up to write a long and syrupy post attributing my lack of posts to the fact that I have been horribly sick for the past 2 weeks, when I noticed my cat making some pretty intense efforts to crawl through the shoe rack. It occurred to me that my kitty could usually care less about the shoes, and that she was sort of doing that "on a mission" crouchy thing.

Then it hit me. She was chasing a spider. In the shoe rack. A spider*. In my shoes.

I feel fairly confident in saying that for many people, myself included, Spider-in-Shoe is one of Life's Great Panic-Inducing Fears. While many people (wrongly) believe that a general fear of spiders is irrational, its safe to say that just about everyone I know would wig out at least a bit when faced with Spider-in-Shoe (especially if they had already gotten the shoe on by the time they realized it).

Now I'm filled with the heebiejeebies and can't really remember any of my rambling I've-been-sick post. Here is the gist of things: I am sick. I have been sick for 2 weeks. I am not just sniffly sick, but stay home from school, sleep 20 hours in one day, miserable throat pain sick. I went to the doctor last week and he said I would be better in 2-3 days. I got worse. I went to the doctor today and she said that I have a sinus infection and stupid pink eye. Missed more school, because of the highly contagious nature of pink eye. Starting to get a bit nervous about my midterm next week, considering the fact that I have not done a lot more than go to class and sleep in the last 2 weeks. Being in law school makes being sick even worse.

So, although there have been numerous bizarre and hilarious things to write about in the last 2 weeks, I've been oscillating between bitchy and hazy, which does not give me any interest in blogging. Sorry. I have drugs now, so I will hopefully be leaving the sicky-sick behind.

*Here at my clusterfuck of an apartment complex, spider means one thing: giant (nickel-sized) red/brown terror spider. I have never seen this kind of spider before, and I'm too prone to nightmares to try and use Google to find out what kind of spider it is, and if it is dangerous.

res judicata

2008-09-15T08:35:00.003-06:00

Of all the bizarre new words, familiar words with new meanings and stupid latin, this one threw me off the worst until I learned that it is pronounced "rays judy-cada" and not "rez jew-dik-uhduh". The correct way is a lot, lot, lot easier to say.

Also, I have discovered that my absolute favorite time of day is early morning in the library. I usually arrive around 7:30 and its so calm and quiet until I go to class at 11. Its a completely different place in the afternoon. Plus I get the benefit of some beautiful morning light and a view over the gorgeous campus.

Need to post more soon, sorry. Didn't you know that I am in emm-effing law school and I don't greatly desire to spend my very limited free time in front of a computer?

my cure for the law school blues

2008-09-03T17:12:00.002-06:00

OK, I'm into my third week now and quite a bit of the shiny-happy-sparklies are wearing off.

A couple of things happened today that reiterated what I've been feeling these past weeks: I'm definitely not getting all of this. And the parts that I'm not getting are usually things I'm not even aware that I've missed.

Its really hard for me to know how to solve this problem, because I'm not even sure what to try to be looking for that I keep glossing over. I know I can't be the only person who is having this problem, but that doesn't make me feel any better about that. Its so incredibly frustrating.

Here is what I decided on for a temporary solution: caramel covered ice cream and reruns of Felicity.

law school numbers

2008-09-01T11:42:00.003-06:00

2 - weeks of law school that I have lived through

7 - times I've wished that I could swallow my pride and get a rolling backpack

4 - times I've gone drinking with friends

2 - times that I've been called on in class

3 - number of Rudolf-blinking-red-nose zits that I've had since school started

1- the loneliest number that you'll ever do

4 - classes in which, despite my best efforts, I've felt totally unprepared or lost

2- pairs of new shoes I own as a result of stress-shopping

7- days I've woken up before 7 am

4 - times I've watched the youtube video of one of my profs before his class in order to relax

3 - times I've called my mom

3 - free lunch meetings I've gone to despite no actual interest in the subject matter of the meeting

1 - times I've kicked someone out of a study room

2 - times I've been kicked out of a study room

6 - bottles of wine that I've drank (with help, mostly) since school started

another awesome high school parallel

2008-08-27T09:52:00.002-06:00

Another great thing that makes law school like high school: a sudden explosion of stress-acne. Could also be related to all the time I spend with my hand on my chin, frowning at a book.

suck it gas prices

2008-08-24T21:39:00.002-06:00

The good news: today I filled up my gas tank for the first time since moving to Law School City. It only cost me $30 to fill it up all the way. Public transportation yes please.

The bad news: in anticipation of using a lot lot less gas than I budgeted for, I may have spent a significant portion of the semester's gas budget on a pair of grown-up shoes. Not helpful.

this is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning

2008-08-24T21:27:00.003-06:00

I made it through one week of law school. I have to keep repeating that, because otherwise the voice in my head returns to "but it was probably the easiest week of all, and I didn't hardly have any reading over the weekend, and I was still in too much shock and awe to take in how much work I really have," which is a good way to start a Sunday-night-anxiety-attack trend.

I'm too easily distracted by shiny objects and new classes. In reality my classes are good - torts prof keeps things light, crim prof is super mesmerizing, writing prof is really friendly. Civ pro is abysmal but my prof has the highest bar passage rate so there is at least one redeeming quality.

And! I've made some friends! (Hopefully!) I don't feel like the clique-forming is happening as fast in law school as it has in the past (with a few notable exceptions). At least I'm still meeting people who seem genuinely interested in meeting and getting to know me. The 2Ls and 3Ls are all really friendly so far.

My goal for week two is to work some exercise into my routine, in part because I've already had 2 disgusting vending machine lunches. Also, I must remember that law school takes more energy than I think it does while I'm packing my lunch.

Ok, so I can totally make it through week 2 right?

law school

2008-08-20T17:29:00.004-06:00

If I were better at this I would have been posting all along, but instead I've been completely overwhelmed and overstimulated up until today. So, this is what you get instead.

Orientation: Fucking boring, almost completely useless (ie We're here to introduce you to career services, then tell you that you shouldn't even be thinking about a job for at least a semester, and ohyeah you can't even come visit us so it doesn't really matter). Mildly interesting meeting new people, except that everyone is playing the "awkward meeting people" game. I met tons of obnoxious people who are in other sections (phew), and then realized that there will probably be some of them in my section as well (crap). There is also a large contingent of tanorexics, about whom I may, quite possibly, talk a lot of shit (to my non-law school friends since at least half the lawyers from my state go to my school).

Advance Assignments: What the hell does any of this shit mean?

First Day: Deep breaths. Deeeeeeeeeeeep breaths. Things go much better than expected, except that I forgot my lunch. Holy mother of god those books are heavy. Definitely have a better understanding of the advance assignments now that I know what the hell I'm supposed to be looking for (and by know I mean sorta-kinda-think I know maybe, ish). Come home with only mild sensation of wanting to crawl back into bed.

Second First Day: Still new classes, much much more interesting than first day. However, suspect that after first class with Scariest Teacher in the School my face will melt off. It didn't.

Day Three: I love law school! I got called on and managed to sound like a remotely intelligent human being! I've met some people that seem pretty cool! My school is beautiful! Everyone (including support staff and professors) is super friendly! Also, I finished my reading in the library so I didn't have to bring any of those books home! Bring on the wine!

the downside

2008-08-10T16:32:00.002-06:00

Follow up on this.

Contrary to all of the evidence otherwise, Amazon finally shipped my books and I've received them both. I guess one of them was originally out of stock (even though it was marked "usually ships in 1-2 days).

This is what I wanted, so I should be happy right? Urrm, except now I have to start studying. Crap.

not helpful amazon, not helpful at all

2008-08-05T16:23:00.004-06:00

As I've mentioned before, I ordered almost all of my textbooks online which helped me to save a couple hundred dollars. I've already received most of the books that I've ordered, but the 2 books I ordered from Amazon have yet to ship. I ordered them last Tuesday, and at the time I didn't think that it was necessary to pay for 2 day shipping (I instead opted to go for cheapish 5-9 day shipping). It would have been completely sufficient if they had shipped sometime last week. As is, my estimated receipt date was scheduled on the 12th, but this afternoon I figured that if they hadn't shipped yet, there was no way they would get to me by the 12th with standard ground shipping (especially considering they usually ship from some place like Hoboken, and I am in the middleish part of the country). So I upgraded to the 2 day shipping, which cost me an extra $13. I was kind of annoyed at having to pay more for shipping, but the books are still cheaper than in the bookstore and I guess gas is hella expensive these days, so I wasn't too burned by it. Until I got my new estimated receipt date: August 15th. Frick! Frick frack friggidy frick!! What the hell Amazon? This is the exact opposite of what I want. Thirteen more dollars should not = later shipping. It should = get your shit together and send them tomorrow. This is what I get for trying to be financially responsible and save a little cash. Not happy.

you're not old

2008-08-03T18:45:00.003-06:00

I have encountered a really bizarre phenomenon among some of the "older" students at my law school (or, at least among those that I've met so far). My school seems to do a fairly good job of assembling a class that is age-balanced. So yes, there are folks like me who have just graduated college, but there are also plenty of people in their mid & late 20s, people in their 30s & 40s, people with full time jobs, families, prior careers, etc. I'm really looking forward to having classes with a greater age range than college (where everyone was my age except the one wacky 50-something "adult learner" housewife who always held up the class with inane questions). What is so strange to me is that a number of people that I've met who are in their mid & late 20s make such a big fracking deal about being "older" than those of us who are more recent grads. They say things like, "Oh my god, when I was graduating from college, you were just starting college." HOLY JURASSIC ERA DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE FIRE WITH STICKS BACK THEN? Its 4 years, give me a break. My BF is more than 4 years older than I am. My closest sibling is more than 4 years older than I am. Many of my best friends are more than 4 years older than I am. Stop pooping in your slightly older pants.

I suppose that these people might be feeling a bit of anxiety about going back to school after a break, and that's totally fair. But come on, everyone is feeling a bit of anxiety about law school. Plus, I can't shake the feeling that these folks are trying to distance themselves from those of us who just finished undergrad in a way that is tacky and distasteful. The whole "I'm not you, I'm not you" routine is disrespectful because there is nothing wrong with going from undergrad to law school (cripes, especially in this suck-o economy). If you want to impress your classmates with your serious dedication, your work ethic, or your amazing life experience then let those qualities speak for themselves. The only impression that I get from these not-so-oldies is that they tend to freak out over something that is actually no big deal.

now that I've assembled my new office chair, I can blog

2008-08-01T17:56:00.004-06:00

It is now August, which means the countdown to law school is so on. Orientation is just over a week away, sections have been assigned, advance assignments are starting to pop up on the website. I received my bill (gack!) and it served as just one of many indications that this is serious-time. I also ordered most of my books already and I hope that my attempt to save some money will not come back to bite me in the ass (Super Saver Shipping I mean You!)

I've even met some fellow law schoolies. I take it as a good sign of the atmosphere at my school that there have been so many pre-orientation get togethers planned already. Most of the people I meet seem nice (generic) and I hope that I seem that way too, as it would be a vast improvement on the super-awkward way that I feel. I haven't come across any best-best-besties yet, but I'm also wary of strangers. In a uncharacteristic move of goodwill, I reserve judgment.

d'oh

2008-07-31T11:16:00.002-06:00

I have been remiss in my blogging duties. Sorry. Between packing, moving, unpacking, wrangling with the apartment complex and trying to set up the freaking internet, things have been hit or miss with me. Plus, the cat keeps looking at me like, "Ok, this is cool and all but when are we going home?"

But now I'm (mostly, almost) settled in to Law School City, which means that I'm thinking more and more about actual Law School starting. So stay tuned.

what paper chase? or, the case of the over-used parentheses

2008-07-21T20:26:00.003-06:00

BF and I saw the Paper Chase this weekend, despite all advice to the contrary. (Oh no! Don't see the Paper Chase or read OneL! They'll scare the pants off of you!!) Maybe there's another really scary and intimidating movie about law school called the Paper Chase? Because I didn't think that this one lived up to its notoriety. Aside from the horrible awkward acting and the awesomely hideous sets (I do love to think that Harvard was that janky at one point), I found it to be a bust. Professor Blowhard wasn't even scary (he was kind of an asshole). Did I miss something? Do I already have incredibly thick skin? (no, I'm kind of a weenie)

I'm just going to take this as a sweepingly presumptive sign that I'll be able to handle anything that law school has to throw at me. Three weeks from orientation, this is a good feeling to have. It certainly beats my old standard of nauseous nervousness.

open letter to the driver of a yellow H3, who stopped behind me at a light

2008-07-16T15:45:00.002-06:00

In case it wasn’t already apparent to you from 1) the fact that I’m driving a car that is over 15 years old*; 2) I have all of the windows all the way down; or 3) I’m leaning forward away from my seat and holding my elbows up perpendicular to my sides even though it makes me look like a crazy person; I do not have air conditioning. I understand that the fumes from the ridiculous amount of gas you put in your vehicle might have started to affect your cognitive reasoning skills, so I thought it would be helpful for me to make that clear.

That being said, STOP HONKING AT ME if I stop in the shade instead of five feet further up. Its hot as balls out, though once again you may not have noticed, since you probably park your air-conditioned monstrosity in the garage of your air-conditioned pre-fab house. You can also cut it out with the waving of the arms, I’m not leaving the shade until the light turns green.

*Despite the fact that my car is over 15 years old, and yours is significantly newer, my car’s fuel efficiency still kicks your car’s fuel efficiency in the ass. By over twice. So I’ve earned that spot in the shade, gashole.

no, the summer will not go by quickly

2008-07-10T13:26:00.003-06:00

Tons of people have offered me unsolicited advice about how to spend my time this summer. Most of it is along the lines of "this summer will go by so quickly - just enjoy it." While I know that they mean well, hearing this for the eightieth time makes me want to pull out some eyeballs, Kill Bill style. This has, quite possibly, been the s l o w e s t summer of my life. I started off working 2 jobs (both miserable boring) 6-7 days a week. Now I'm just working the 1-most-miserable-of-all-job and I think that it actually makes the time pass slower. Early in the summer, I sorta thought, "yeah, maybe everyone is right, I'm sure things will pickup in July." Now, one-third of the way into July I'm convinced that things won't actually pick up for at least another week (which will be one week before we move).

I decided to quit my job a bit early, so next Thursday is my last day. The awesome thing about leaving (duh, aside from the leaving part) is that next week is peppered with free lunch from people I work with. Woohoo!

Also, a quick note to the folks at Apple: Please, please PLEASE get the .mac/mobileme webmail up and running quickly. I easily spend 70% of the time that I am at work on my email, which made yesterday extraspecialsucky since webmail was down. Come on Stevie-baby, you owe me this one.

this is how I know I made the right choice

2008-07-07T12:39:00.002-06:00

Last week, my law school finally sent me some orientation info. Since I'm an incredibly antsy and impatient person I have been checking the mail for this packet since March. And do you know what I got? A couple of sheets of paper that basically said, "Calm the Efff down. You don't need to get all crazy-like about something that is still over a month away. We promise to send you some info, soonish." I see it as confirmation that I made the right choice of schools. This school isn't going to always give me what I want - but it has done a fairly good job of giving me what I need (which is to be told to chill). So in the spirit of chill, and also because I'm up to my ears in moving, I'm placing a moratorium on law school prep crap. Only summer fun-time (and packing) from here on out.

what the world needs now...

2008-07-05T16:26:00.002-06:00

Is shade, sweet shade. Its the only thing that there's just too little of.

Or maybe that's just how I feel after a broiling hot day of drunken slip & slide. This is how I celebrate my country: by hurtling myself across a soaking wet sheet of plastic. Also, by slathering myself with SPF1billion because if there is one thing I have learned in 20-some years it is that I am a pasty muthahfuckah who needs maximum protection from the great cancer-ball in the sky.

p.s. work advice

2008-07-01T10:00:00.003-06:00

I forgot to add this sage piece of advice to my work-complaining.

If you are in a situation where your boss has taken away almost all of your responsibilities at work and left you with bullshit to do, do not under any circumstances, change a shared password (that he never ever ever uses) to "No work to do".

sick day....so I blog about work

2008-07-01T09:37:00.002-06:00

Apparently Laughing + restaurant fondue = sick day. This is, for many reasons, bullshit (such as the fact that homemade fondue is no problem, as well as the fact that I need money and sick day does not generate the cash). Anyway, since I'm not at work I decided that I may write freely about it.

I used to love my job. I mean Löve my job. It was engaging, challenging and I felt like I was learning a lot. Also it is part of the area of law in which I hope to someday practice (although I work at a university and not at a law firm). I though I was getting really good experience and besides that I was enjoying the work. Until... my old boss quit and they hired a new guy. New Boss is a lawyer, so I thought "extra bonus!" Wrong Wrong Wrooooong. New Boss is also a control freak who does not know how to delegate. He has taken away roughly 90% of what I used to do (and enjoy). He is even too much of a control freak to let me make his copies. Or send out his mail, because, you know, I might accidentally stick the stamp on my nose and try to mail myself.

For a while, I just didn't have anything to do, but it wasn't a huge big deal (uh, hello, that is what the internets are for). But now he pawns me off on other office staff to make their copies and send out their mail. So, I'm basically miserable all of the time that I am at work (except for lunch). Good thing I've only got 13 days to go.

just because you don't need a license doesn't mean there are no rules

2008-06-29T16:38:00.003-06:00

I love me some summer-time bicycling. If there is one good thing about high gas prices, it is that more people are riding their bikes. Plus, my home town is uber bike-friendly (I will miss this in about a month when I am in city-traffic-hell). But! BUT. I have been having some issues with the etiquette of new cyclists. Yes, its fun. Yes, its easier than driving. No, riding your bike does not mean "I can act like even more of a jackass than I do when I drive!" No no no no.

So in the interest of not unloading all of my shit on the next twerp I encounter on the trails, here are my RULES FOR RIDING YOUR BIKE:

1. When riding on a trail, do NOT stop on the bridge. Do not stop with all of your friends and all of your bikes on the bridge. The bridge is the narrowest part of the trail and therefore the worst place to stop and congregate, dipshit.

2. Warn people before you pass them. "On your left" is really not that hard to say. Warn them even if they are just walking, even if they are talking on the phone, even if they have a helmet or hat on, even if they have headphones on. Especially if they have headphones on. Warn them even if you think they saw you. No one I know has eyes in the back of their head except for my mom, and you won't run into her on the bike trail.

3. Stop staring at me if I wear a skirt and ride my bike at the same time. The only way that you could see what you are staring so hard at is if you were underneath my front tire, in which case you have other things to worry about. Also, do not stare at me in misdirected self-righteousness. Riding a bike in a skirt is not slutty. If you do insist on staring at me in lust or contempt, accept the fact that me flipping you off is a reasonable and appropriate response.

wouldn't you like to know

2008-06-23T10:20:00.014-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the level of anonymity I'd like to aim for in this blog. It seems that most of the blogs that I read strike this balance somewhere between complete disclosure and "complete" anonymity (with most leaning towards anonymity). What seems more likely is that these bloggers strive for the illusion of anonymity, since nobody with an IP address is truly anonymous.

It seems like plenty of law student blogs eventually are removed or password protected, which I assume is a reaction intended to protect a blogger (Silly Little Law Student where are you? I miss your cheekiness). Whether its a move to preserve career prospects or a reaction to snoopy classmates, significant self-censorship might take the fun out of the entire venture (just ask Butterflyfish). Maybe in retrospect many students decide that they have simply shared too much, or that they are embarrassed by the naivete of their posts.

Do students always start out by over-disclosing and eventually reign things in? I have noticed that some of my fellow almost-1Ls, like Terra Nullius and A Woman in Law School have even posted their pictures on their blogs. I'm not willing to go that far, but I'm also kind of a weenie. I really admire their willingness to be up-front about what they are doing and to truly own their statements and opinions. But isn't part of the fun of blogging the fact that you can blow off some of that law school pressure by venting about all of the crazy people you have to interact with? Thanks, But No Thanks's snarkiness is what I LOVE about her blog and I suspect if she filtered more of her writing it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

There is speculation over whether a blogger should even aim for anonymity, like in this especially good post. I get that. "Anonymity" may be a tempting cover for the wide practice of acting like a moron on the internet. Very un-Dude.

I'd like to set the tone early, in part to have some sort of guide and in part to just keep myself from being as asshole. But I'm blunt and cheeky and not-always-super-nicey-nice in real life, so why should I change that for a blog? Ok, so I don't act this way towards my boss, but I don't hide this side of my personality either. Trying to remain as anonymous as possible (by not checking or posting in class, not telling anyone about my blog etc) feels a little deceptive. Is there a way to achieve balance?

Probably, I shouldn't worry so much about it now. I should do what works for me, while it works for me, until it doesn't. And then I change. Its not necessarily an admission of defeat to remove or password protect a blog, and its not a revision of the past either. It is a revision of the present. For now I'll just try to keep on keepin on.

yay bicycle boo birds

2008-06-20T17:36:00.002-06:00

My personal plan for avoiding gas prices, reducing my carbon footprint and getting some exercise? I ride my bike to work (usually). As long as I remember to keep my mouth shut to keep from swallowing a bunch of bugs, I have a great time.

Except for today, when a bird flew so near (i.e. the space between where I lean forward and my handlebars) that I almost got feather-clocked. I felt the whoosh of beating wings just under my chin as I pulled back to keep from colliding.

Eeeeks. At least the bird was as surprised as I was.

dilemma

2008-06-19T11:14:00.006-06:00

I had a brief and slightly uncomfortable dilemma this morning. I was driving to work and was only about 100 feet from the lot where I normally park (when I don't ride my bike) and I saw some kind of dollar bill in the street. Hey! Free money! So I parked and walked back to get the money, half hoping that it was a $50, half hoping that it actually was money, half hoping that no one else got there first (yes I know, bad math). I got there first, and saw that it was actually money and that it was a dollar bill. Yippee! Then I picked it up and realized why it stayed so perfectly in the center of the street despite cars driving past and a light breeze. Urgh, gum. Not a little tiny bit of gum on the corner, but a melty, sticky, entire-roll-of-bubbletape piece of gum. Shit! Now, not only did I run down the street flapping like a goose to get to the money before anyone else, but I'm carrying an icky-sticky dollar that I don't know what to do with. Here is the dilemma: keep the dollar (which is totally irredeemable so I'd have to take it to the bank and exchange it, but in order to do that I'd have to find something to transport it in) or drop it for someone else to find/deal with (it was, after all, only a dollar)?

So, what would you do?

what now?

2008-06-15T10:06:00.003-06:00

Why another law school blog? I've been reading a lot of other student blogs recently, and I've picked up on the idea that law school is tough (duh). I've also noticed that, for those who choose to share, blogging can be one big way to mitigate the stress and pressure of law school. Whether its the relief of sharing, the community of other law student bloggers, or just the ego-boost of somebody finding you interesting, blogging seems like an act of self-preservation in an environment that otherwise be a little bit dehumanizing. (Maybe I'm wrong and law school is all rainbows and unicorns.) For me, I think that blogging will help to keep me grounded and self-aware. I want to be able to enjoy and thrive in law school, and not just academically.

Plus, I know that I've benefited from reading other law student blogs, and I hope that someone out there in the interwebs will find my perspective helpful, insightful, or at least funny from time to time. And this way I can try to laugh at my own mistakes, which makes them so much less painful.

social skills that may not be useful in law school

2008-05-23T14:26:00.004-06:00

Laughing: I realized that I'm kind of a bitch in class.
BF: What do you mean?
Laughing: I'm not friendly. I don't give people the benefit of the doubt, I just assume that they're idiots and wait for them to prove me wrong.
BF: Uh, that's not cool.
Laughing: But they are idiots!

weird trash i've picked up while working at the storage facility

2008-05-11T15:02:00.004-06:00

1. condom...not so much weird as gross
2. chicken bone
3. a lot of Barbie shoes
4. half of a set of dentures
5. laundry detergent
6. longboard
7. fish tank rocks
8. half of a dead snake

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed picking this shit up.