not laughing

I've been extra complainy lately, I know. February has been a tough month - lots of school work, lots of stress, very little let up. But yo? It is hard to not be complainy when the shit just keeps hitting the fan in such spectacular fashion.

Latest example: this is the weekend before my motion brief is due. It was also BF's birthday, so I took yesterday off and planned to work diligently, all day long, on my brief today. In theory it was an excellent plan. Excellent, until this morning when I discovered that my hot water heater was leaking - soaking the living room and office room floor, carpet, and furniture. So instead of writing and editing and revising and perfecting my citations, I spent the bulk of the day wrangling with various maintenance technicians, moving furniture, and overseeing the carpet pad replacement, carpet shampooing, baseboard removal and water heater repair. And now my apartment is host to two very fucking loud industrial fans to dry the carpet and walls out.

I keep telling myself that it could have been worse. I could have not noticed for a couple of days, the water damage could have been so bad as to force me to move out of this godforsaken apartment into another godforsaken apartment on a different floor. But if that had happened I think I could have legitimately gotten an extension. This is just inconvenient enough to butt up against the limit of suck-it-up-and-finish-your-brief. Its just enough to waste the entire fucking day on, its just enough to bring me a hair's breadth from losing my shit.

Edited to add: The cat's dislike of the industrial fans is even stronger than my own. Poor kitty :(

this is the song that never ends

Law school is the song that never ends. Doing well in law school is all about your ability to tolerate always having something to do. Not just something that you could be doing but something that you need to do, something that you really ought to be doing.

I am discovering that I have a very low tolerance for that sort of thing. I need a foreseeable end, a lull, a break. I like lists because you can see everything and cross things off and then you're done. I can push myself to workworkworkwork when I know after its over I won't have anything to do. That's why I've always been such a procrastinator - I'm really only willing to put forth the time and energy when I'm going to be immediately rewarded with a break. And until law school, this was a pretty successful system. In work and undergrad things came in cycles. There was down-time. There were days when I had a lot to do and days when I truly had nothing to do. I was used to it and so I got good at it.

In law school, I've always got something that I need to do. When he's here on the weekends, BF asks me if I have a lot of work to do, and my answer is always "yes." It builds - neglect one thing for the sake of something else and you'll end up behind in everything. It wears on me. At the same time I recognize that this is how law school is, and I need to get to a point where it doesn't bother me. Any suggestions?

things I need to do

The following are some things that I need to do, listed not in the order in which I need to do them, but in the order of what is stressing me out the most. I am apparently only organized in my neuroses.

1. Sweep the bathroom floor. Actually, just clean the whole bathroom.
2. Write thank you cards for my interviewers. FUCK I just remembered this one.
3. Figure out how to get lower interest rates on my credit cards. For about 2 seconds, consider moving back in with my parents.
4. Get a new blade for the totally bombtastic cat brush that has recently become too dull to collect any actual cat hair.
5. (related to #4) Vacuum.
6. Wash dishes.
7. Organize (ie decipher) Property notes. Gah.
8. Do I have another sinus infection? Fuck.
9. Find someone who will accept my free and eager labor for the summer. Harder than it sounds.
10. Exercise. Am becoming squishy.
11. Holy shit its almost March.
12. Holy double shit scholarship application due soon.
13. Do laundry.
14. Need to get boss to send me more stuff to work on. Five hours a week doesn't pay the bills.
15. Buy BF birthday present.
16. Oh yeah, I have a draft due for my brief tomorrow.

Things I have actually spent my time doing tonight, in order of how much stupid time they took:
1. Internet.
2. Two blog posts (duh).
3. Cook and eat whole artichoke. Yum!
4. Watch Law & Order.
5. Play with the cat.
6. Outline my brief for tomorrow.

open letter to classmate

Dear classmate who sits behind me,

I sometimes like to surf the internet in class. I know that you do not approve of this behavior, but I don't need your approval. I do need you to get the fuck over it.

Sometimes the people in front of me surf the internet and instant message too, and to be honest I don't really notice when they do. Do you know why? Because the professor is not standing right behind their screens. Because I am not a Nosy Nancy, like yourself. Because I do not give a shit what my classmates do in class, as long as it is quiet.

You on the other hand, seem to think that my internet visits are fascinating - so much so that they absolutely prohibit you from paying attention. If that is true, then you might have ADHD. I can barely entertain myself online through 2 hours of con law, I'm blown away that I can entertain you with only half of a screen.

Also, you knew that I surf the internet in class and you still chose to sit behind me. In two classes. Perhaps you do not has the good decision-making skillz.

You've recently adopted a new tactic of telling me, out loud, in class, to stop surfing the internet, and wagging your finger at me. This crosses the line. You're twenty-five years old, its time to stop tattling on your classmates. Yes I should be paying attention, but I'm an adult and so I'm allowed to make my own decisions. You think I'm a slacker. I think you're condescending, nosy, and kind of a bully. Can we just agree to leave it at that?

Thanks a bunch!

Laughing

i thought they weren't supposed to work you to death til 2L

Do you ever feel like absolutely everything that you look at reminds you of something that you really need to do? I feel like that now, and I've been feeling that way for a couple of weeks. I am not yet ready to accept this as a defining feature of my life.

Only four and a half weeks into the semester and I am completely buried.

the little things

I know that I complain a lot, about law school and about life in general.

Tonight though I'm only going to share the bliss I get from sitting in bed in my pjs and doing my reading while enjoying a glass of wine and a game of string with the cat.

Things could be worse, no?