Wednesday, December 16, 2009

internet "research"

You know you've crossed some sort of internet-stalking line when you find things while "researching" somebody online that you want to share with them, but in order to do so you'd have to admit to your technological-pokings-around - and not in the "yeah I checked out your pictures when you friended me" kind of way. But come on, when someone else who has the exact same name has put only books about magical demons on their amazon wish list, how can I be expected to not make a joke about that?

In a related note, lots of people who have private Facebook profiles do not have private pictures. I mean lots and lots, especially those who are not paranoid law students worried about getting a job someday. I also think that most people don't think about the setting "friends of friends" as still containing complete strangers. I start break tomorrow afternoon and it is going to take Herculean efforts to keep from going any further into the internetz.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

notes in the margins

My favorite note I've found written (by me) in the margins of my casebook as I outline: "professor thinks this is crap."

It is unfortunately not so helpful as to why professor thinks it is crap, or what professor prefers. At least it's better than the one about a hundred pages back, awkwardly positioned far enough away from the case as to indicate that it wasn't referring to anything in particular: "WTF."

Oh evidence, you and I can only be friends for the purpose of pointing out the inaccuracies of Law & Order.

Friday, December 4, 2009

it's a series of tubes

Ok, I love me some lolcats as much as anybody else (not true, I probably love them more), but have you ever read the comments on those posts? Holy literacy rate, I want to punch those people.

Also, while I'm on the subject of griping about my otherwise favorite study distractions, I've always wondered: who are the people taking the People of Walmart pictures? They have to be in Walmart to take the picture, or at least lurking around the parking lot - aren't they making fun of themselves in a roundabout way? Or worse, are they just douchey hipster college students doing recon so that they can bask in the glory of their photo being posted on the site? Does it assuage the conscience of people like me when we do go into Walmart? "Hey it's not so bad, maybe I'll see a crazy person I can take a picture of with my overpriced phone!"

This is a perfect example of why I should not be left alone to study on a Friday night, without the company of booze or attractive men: because when left to my own devices I over-analyze everything that is fun about the internet.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

moment of panic

Every time I have to do a research assignment for work, there is a moment early on in the process when I am looking at the research question and I just think to myself, "I have no fucking clue what my boss is asking for." I know I need to ask some questions to clarify what it is I'm supposed to be looking for, but in order to ask good questions I need to have some understanding of what I'm doing. In order to have some understanding of what I'm doing, I need to know a little bit more than zero, that is if I want to keep my job. And so I spend a couple of hours spinning my wheels, grasping at search terms and obscure ALRs until I have enough of a shadow of an idea to ask those clarifying questions. Does this happen to anybody other than me?

Sunday, November 29, 2009

obligatory pre-overnighter posting

I am about to dive headfirst into a 15 page final paper for one of my classes (due tomorrow, how'd you guess?) but before I started I figured I would waste a bit more time and alert teh interwebz to my recent goings-on. And, of course, since I am lazy ... err .... saving all of my transitions for my brilliant paper, I will devolve into my favorite format, la liste.

1. I went away for a few days for Thanksgiving and came back to a cat who was so starved for attention that she has sat on my lap for over 10 hours today. If there is one thing I am thankful for this year, it is the unconditional love of a pet.
2. The downside is that it is very difficult to actually accomplish anything when there is a purring cat sitting between me and my laptop.
3. When I got up yesterday I learned that my phone had deleted all the contact names in my address book. In other words I still have the numbers, but no names to go with them, which is just about as useless as not having the numbers at all. I'm working on a solution, but in the meantime I'm just answering the phone really enthusiastically every time.
4. I did an interview with Awesome Job That I Want SO Much, For Realz about a week ago, and I do not have enough digits to cross to contain my hopefulness.
5. When it rains it pours. Just saying.
6. I am almost halfway through with law school, which makes me simultaneously relieved and terrified. This is pretty much par for the course? I'm Ron Burgundy?
7. I cannot wrap my brain around how people who have such a poor grasp of grammar get into law school, but I'm so grateful that they do. Getting all worked up about grammar, style, and punctuation while grading citations is strangely cathartic.
8. For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not go out and buy Going Rogue. Do not Go Rogue, do not collect $200.
9. Also, please do not go see New Moon. Barf.
10. I love my apartment. I've never really loved anywhere that I've lived before, so it's a strange new feeling for me, but oh god I lurve my apartment.

Friday, November 13, 2009

patience is my strong suit

In my experience, the anxiety of waiting for a guy to call is only eclipsed by the anxiety of waiting for the Awesome Job I Applied For to call. And I only submitted my application like 3 minutes ago. Welcome to my own particular brand of crazy, Internet. Make yourself comfortable, we could be here a while.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

list of suck

Things About Which I Am Not Particularly Pleased At The Moment:

1. Not getting any interviews yet.
2. Also not yet getting called back by the cute boy I spent the weekend with.
3. Having a cold.
4. Being broke.
5. The fact that there are no more classes to take from my favorite professor.
6. Acne.
7. The fact that finals are right around the corner.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

the "work" and corresponding "death"

I'm pretty sure that I have pulled more all-nighters in the last 3 months of being a 2L than I ever did as an undergrad. I know I'm not the first to say this, and I won't be the last, but crap-on-a-cracker this 2L "work you to death" thing is no joke. And mere weeks ago I was going on and on about not letting law school take over my entire life. Ha. Ha. Defeat is funnier in the wee hours of the morning, don't you think?

Also, as a result of the overwork├Ędness, if another one of the 1Ls in the writing class I TA for comes up to me to complain about how much work they have, I may have to punch them. Except take out the "may" from that last sentence and substitute it with "will, without hesitation." So 1Ls? You are on notice: it's not Halloween zombies you need to watch out for, it's bloodshot 2Ls who look like zombies. Don't say you haven't been warned.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009


Cite & Source, otherwise known as Crap & Snark, otherwise known as Crude & Sucky, otherwise known as I Have Lost My Creativity to Make Up Clever Shit. Oh Wait! Otherwise known as Clever & Shit.

Things I Will Do While I Work on This Cite & Source:

1. Watch about a billion episodes of L&O Criminal Intent on Instant Watch. I know there are a lot of C&I haters out there, but I love Vincent D'Onofrio, and now it's got Chris Noth too, and you know that Noth sounds an awful lot like NOM. Chris Nomnomnomnoth.
2. Dive into that gallon of seasonally flavored ice cream in the freezer.
3. Learn way more than anybody cares to know about now-defunct laws written in the 1940s.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009


I am in a research pickle. Everything that I have found gives an extremely clear answer to the research question: "no". But my boss thinks that the answer should be "yes," and is bound and determined that I should find that "yes" if I just do more research. At what point do I stop billing and again give the unsatisfactory answer of "no" even after being told to "look harder"?

Sunday, October 4, 2009

laundry day

Although living in a building of mostly undergrads has its obvious downsides (Taylor-Swift-listening-girl-next-door, I'm looking at you) I have discovered one perk. Being the only person up before 10 on a Sunday means I get first dibs on the one washer and dryer, which I plan on monopolizing for the next 3-4 hours. Bwahhahahaha!

The amount of enjoyment that I am getting out of this is perhaps a new low in the "law school has turned me into a complete loser" game.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

adventures in "reply all"

Today in the library, I received the following email:
To: Laughing, Guy-Friend ...list of other people
From: StudyGroupGuy
Subject: Party!

Hey study group! I am having a party next weekend, it would be cool if you all came!


I then replied to Guy-Friend:
To: Guy-Friend
From: Laughing
Subject: RE: Party!

OMG! Cute boy in our study group is having a party!

Then Guy-Friend replied to me:
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Party!

Laughing, you clicked Reply All....


And then I received this:
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Party!

Haha! Just joking!

And then I spent the afternoon scheming about leaving flaming bags of poo on Guy-Friend's doorstep.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

insert cliche

After the problem I had a couple of weeks ago when the heat spontaneously came on by itself and wouldn't turn off on an 80 degree day, I now have the opposite problem. No heat. And it was nowhere near 80 here today. And there is only so much fleece in my apartment.

I would have called this post "be careful what you wish for" except that phrase is basically the cliche version of "I told you so", which makes me kinda punchy. "Be careful what you wish for" is really only appropriate when what you wish is for me to punch you in the face, and then I would recommend that you be careful what you wish for silently, because I can be a little spazy with the punches.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

stir crazy

I agreed to take on 2 extra research and writing projects for work this weekend and next to generate some extra cash for a mini-vacation I'm taking next month. It will be worth it, but it means that I'm staying in to work all weekend. On Thursday it seemed like no big thang, yesterday it still seemed doable, and today I am wallowing in what seems like an impossible amount of work in an impossibly short time, and yet it seems like fo re ver until I will be done. Not leaving the house for 40+ hours can have that crazy-making effect on a person.

So to break up the monotony, I'm following the lead of mind the sass with a few of my favorite things:

1. Crescent rolls. Nom!
2. My new caramel colored knee length boots.
3. Kitty.
4. The Office.
5. Pumpkin ice cream.
6. Netflix.
7. The fact that I got to keep the awesome TV in the division of stuff.
8. Blue mascara - perhaps controversial, but fun nonetheless.
9. Christmas music (ok, I'll wait until October).
10. Not being a 1L.
11. My bicycle.
12. Thai tea.

And, in the alternative, a very short list of my new least favorite thing:

1. Use of the word "arguendo", especially when used after the word "assuming." AARGH.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

house-keeping and awesome-keeping

Hi, my name is Laughing and I am an asshole. Which is to say, I just got around to updating the links to some of my favorite blawgers who had migrated to new platforms. Uh, some of whom had done so like 6 months ago. This is my way of making up for my slackishness. Go visit Exhibit L, No634, a woman in law school, and A (Non)Token Minority Law Student - all people who, despite me ignoring their pleas to update my blogroll, did not remove me from theirs. Thanks dudes.

It is also my pleasure to say that I've been included in The Bitter Lawyer's 10 Favorite Law Student Blogs. Woot! I'm totally flattered, especially since my posting schedule has been, err, lacking lately. Go read all the interviews of the folks included on the list. There is a tiny part of me that wishes I hadn't outed my crush on Nobody since she was also included, but on the bright side it reaffirms my incredibly good taste, no?

And if you're here for the first time because of the Bitter Lawyer post, welcome y'all! I hope you enjoy!

Friday, September 18, 2009

this friday night brought to you by lame

I realized I hadn't spent a single night just hanging out by myself for the last 2 weeks (no wonder I feel like I'm losing my everloving mind) so I decided to spare my friends and take some alone time tonight. As soon as I decided that I would spend the evening with my feet up, eating bonbons, I looked around my apartment and saw that it was, well, kind of gross. For me, in law school especially, the messy apartment problem tends to spiral out of control fairly quickly - I'm stressed so I don't clean, things are messy and therefore I get more stressed, and it all ends up with me blowing off something I should be doing for school in order to get my surroundings in better shape. My amazing discovery? Friday night cleaning is better than Saturday morning cleaning, because it comes with the added bonus of wine. And you know me, drinking alone on a Friday night usually leads to a list.

Things I Did Tonight in Particular Order:

1. Play laser pointer with the cat. Never gets old.
2. Washed dishes.
3. Spent twice as long washing dishes as necessary because I was also watching Gossip Girl.
4. Dusted the top of the fridge.
5. Discovered that the heat was on, what the eff?
6. Ohmahgah it is so hot in here, why can't I get the heat to turn off?!?
7. Opened windows.
8. Spent 30 minutes trying to keep the cat from leaning against window screens.
9. Closed the windows.
10. Cleaned the bathroom sink and vanity.
11. Started cleaning the toilet.
12. Discovered that the water was no longer running, mid-toilet cleaning.
13. Overcome by sudden and unquenchable thirst.
14. Cleaned kitchen counters, table. Scoured burner pans.
15. Thought about reading for Ethics.
16. Fuck that, how about a movie and eat ice cream instead.

That basically brings us to the current moment, with me and the cat enjoying a lovely (if hot) evening in a tidied apartment that smells faintly of lemon cleaning product. Hope you all had a great Friday night too.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

advice (not assvice!) to 1Ls

Dear Precious 1Ls,

We need to have a quick chat about study room etiquette. You see, I get that you are new here. I get that you don't quite know how things work yet. I get that you are scared out of your damn minds at least half the time. But that doesn't give you any good reason to act like a bunch of dill-holes. So let's go over some stuff that might make everybody's lives a little easier.

1) Try reserving your own study rooms instead of taking mine. Telling me that you've been kicked out of 3 other study rooms already today doesn't move me to sympathy so much as it makes you look like an idiot. Reserve your own room or go to the library, and get the fuck over it.

2) When somebody starts standing awkwardly outside of a study room you are in, they are not admiring your color-coded underlining technique or your overpriced and underfunctional school bag. They probably have the room reserved, which means you need to get out, poste haste. No, you may not finish that page, that email, that killer convo about who said what to whom at bar review. Pack yo shit up and skeedadle.

3) Study rooms are not soundproof booths. Less shrieking, less screeching, less squee. Many of you have not yet figured out that you are staring down the barrel of a buttload of work, and that you would do well to use less time gossiping. If you are with it enough to have gotten a study room, use it for studying, or at least silent facebooking. I don't really care what you do, as long as I can't hear it.

That being said, you all look like lovely people. I'd be more than happy to help you with your citations. I love seeing your UCC diagrams on the whiteboards. Also, I commend you on the relatively low incidence of over-perfumers. Next year you'll have full discretion to chastise 1Ls as you see fit. Let's just try to work these study room habits into your routine, mmmkay?

Truly yours,


Monday, August 31, 2009

financial aid success!!

It only took about 15 tries, but the financial aid office has finally gotten their shit together and decided to let me borrow more than $2000 to live on this semester. Yay! No more ramen for me, I'm upgrading to PB&J! Wooohoooo!!!

In completely unrelated news, "Velvet Wendolyn" has emailed me to let me know that she (she?) wants to sell me some viagara and cialis. Someone with that kind of a name is exactly who I would expect to be peddling such wares, except that I would expect her to be doing so at the kinky tent at the renaissance festival, not through such modern means as email.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

from the mouths of babes

Overheard in the law school today, after a bunch of 1L classes got out:
CoolGuy1L: Hey, so what are your plans for the weekend?

Saddest1LintheWorld: Uh, well, I don't have any friends, so...... probably nothing.

I know that it might feel that way right now, 1Ls, but I promise it gets better. I promise.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax

In the year I've been blogging, I have tried to make it a point to make this a primarily "law school blog." In some ways I needed the structure, and in some ways I did it to protect my identity from my classmates. But this summer has most decidedly Not been about law school, and so I haven't had much to write about. Instead, this summer has seemed to be about how my relationship is unraveling before my eyes, which is something I've been in denial of, embarrassed by, and mostly just afraid of. It has been something that I've hoped wouldn't happen, and something that I definitely didn't want to broadcast to the internet.

Maybe I was wrong to think that I could contain these spheres of my life apart from one another. What is currently happening in my relationship is affected by me being in law school, and how I feel about being in law school is in part affected by my relationship. There is a venn diagram there, and the overlapping part is a black hole of shittiness. It's a bleak outlook, and perhaps a controversial way to say "Welcome 1Ls!"

School starts up again soon though, which gives me something to look forward to (and perhaps some good blog fodder?). Despite my all-around dislike of last year I'm actually excited about school again - about my classes, about meeting new people, about the jobs and internships I have lined up, about the friends I've made, and about simply no longer being a 1L. I hope you'll stick around to laugh with and at me.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

not dead yet

Just in case anyone out there still reads this.... I haven't died in the past month. I've just fallen off the face of the internet.

I know that this happens to a lot of blawgers, especially in the first summer. I remember being frustrated by a lack of posts last summer when I was preparing for 1L by reading every law student blog I could find.

I could say that I haven't had anything to write about, but that's not true. It's more that I've been working through some things that I haven't yet been ready to share. I could be writing about my summer job, but I already have to do "reflective journals" which are a lot less fun than blogging, but also sort of destroy my desire to reflect. Plus, using blogging as a way to put off homework is fairly enjoyable, but using it as a way to put off fun summer stuff? Not as enticing. Sorry internets.

The past month has been a full one, and a lot of things have happened that warrant their own posts entirely. Here is a brief list though of stuff I've failed to blog about:

1. Living with animals who are at war with each other = not my idea of a good time.
2. I'm moving in 2 weeks. This was entirely unexpected, and until about 4 days ago, unplanned.
3. My garden is awesome enough that sometimes I wish I owned a greenhouse instead of going to law school.
4. I got my grades.
5. I did not try for law review.
6. My summer job has helped me make a major decision about what I want to do in my legal career, which is sort of awesome.
7. I lined up a fairly cool job for the fall, with people I like, and I sort of just fell into it without trying. Score!
8. I do not miss being around law students. Related: I like my classmates a lot more now that we are not in class. Most of them, at least.
9. Despite #8, there has still been a little bit of social weirdness. I would not be surprised if this became a bit of an issue in the next month or so.

I'm going to try to be a better blogger. I pwomise. Also, to my peers who have moved their blogs, I will get around to updating my blogroll with your new addresses. Sheesh I'm such a lazy internet citizen. Please be patient with me.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

best and worst of the first

I got tagged! And despite my steady readership of other people's blogs, it took me about 15 minutes to figure out what the fuck it meant when Shake wrote "I tagged you!" I thought, "spray paint?" or maybe "facebook?" A while later, and with a healthy helping of "duh" I realized that oh, hey, tagging is a thing people do on their blogs. Oh yeah.

Aside from that, this exercise was difficult for me. It was difficult to look back and try and decide between all the bad memories, and to try and remember the not so many good ones. This year of school has been rough and though I've had fun at times, nothing in particular has stood out for me as making all the crappy stuff worth it. But hey, let's get the bad news over with first....

The Worst: On the day that I turned my final brief in for my writing class, I also got back a practice midterm from a class I had been doing pretty well in. While he was handing back the midterms, my professor mentioned that there was one that he had trouble reading, and so he had asked the writing tutor to read it and comment. And of course it was mine. And of course the writing comments were the first thing I read. And of course, I lost my shit. Writing has always been one of my strongest academic skills, and it tore me to shreds. I thought about quitting school, I thought that I was going to fail out. I was mad at my professor and mad at myself, and I couldn't stop thinking about the paper I had just turned in. I read the midterm, and it was poorly written, and so I beat myself up some more. I tried my best to put it behind me, to not think about it, to act as if it had been a fluke.

The Best: I hate to bring this to grades, but this experience is only the Best because of how it relates to the Worst. The day after my last final I went in to pick up my graded brief from my writing professor (yes, the one that I turned in on that awful day). Right there on the front of my grading sheet, my professor had written that my brief was the best one in the class. I hope to never forget that feeling. I could absolutely not hold it in. In fact, I'm pretty sure I actually squeaked, right there in the law building hallway, in the middle of finals, one big loud "EEEEEEE!" I have never been so happy to get an A in my entire life, and I have also never been so worried about doing poorly on something. Plus, it was a great feeling that the first grade I got this semester was such a good one (especially compared to last semester, when my first grade was by far the worst). It has given me more confidence at my internship, in my ability to be an attorney, and in my ability to take a rough situation and still do well for myself.

I'm going rogue and tagging some who has finished a bit more school than me: (In)Sanity Gal.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

finals time, break time, job time

Finals were brutal, in ways both expected and not. Property, which was my ace in the hole, was also the last exam and so by that point I was suffering from some serious exam burnout. The Con Law exam seemed to be the best of the bunch, but there's no way to know until grades come in. I did get some good news right after exams: I got the highest grade in my writing class!! It was a welcome surprise, and I have to say that I've never been so happy to get an A in my whole life.

And then? And then! Summer break. I've also never been so happy in my life for summer vacation. Not being in law school is a great feeling. I've been taking maximum advantage: planting my garden, reading a stack of books, drinking lots of beer.

I also started my internship last week. I'm working for a judge and so far its been great. I'll be posting more regularly again soon, but here is a short list of things to share with you:

1. Holyfuckingshit I am not qualified for this. According to the clerk I'm working with, this feeling doesn't really go away.
2. I managed to "exfoliate" all of the skin off of my pinky toe in just 2 days of wearing dress shoes. No likey.
3. I have now seen my judge in running shorts 3 times. I'm sorry, I meant to say 3 times too many.
4. Lawyers are rude.
5. I am happy to report that you are still allowed to have an afternoon snack in adult-land.

Monday, May 11, 2009

what's your weirdest search?

You know the "research" you do to get points on lexis/westlaw? The days where you have nothing legitimate to look up, but goddamnit if you are going to miss today's 15 points? What do you search - even better - what is the weirdest thing you've searched?

When I'm presented with a situation like this, I turn into an 8 year old boy. Which is how I now know that there are 17 cases on lexis with the phrase "dog poop" in them. (Oh hello new readers who are finding me after searching "dog poop". You are creeping me out, go away.) The bad thing about that search though, is that all of the cases are pretty sad. The phrase isn't used as a euphemism for something else, and you know that if that particular element is important enough to use in the case then there is some sad stuff going down.

To cheer myself up, I decided to search for some other ridiculous thing: witch and magic wand. Three cases. More hilarious and less sad. Also better than just searching "magic wand" where nearly every phrase goes something like this: "the suchandsuch doctrine is not a magic wand for that dumb thing you did."

So what about you? What have been your best, worst, funniest, and weirdest searches? Come on, I've got 2 days to go, entertain me.

Friday, May 8, 2009

can you guess what took 10 years off my life today?

Here, I'll give you the answer, I won't even make you wait for it. Having major computer problems the day of my 6 hour take-home exam, that is what took 10 years off my life today. In fact, I think that even just telling people about it took a couple years off their lives. Eeeek.

But! I've only got one left....yippee!

Unfortunately, I learned today that I have to wear a suit to work pretty much every day all summer. And I'm not even working for a fancy firm, in fact I'm not working for a firm at all. There goes my idea of riding my bike to work.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

the dormant commerce clause

Can go fuck itself. For that matter, all of con law can go fuck itself.

I need a big sign above my head to warn friends and loved ones. It would say, "interact with me at your own risk." In fact, those signs should be included in the cost of tuition.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

end of classes: 1L

Yesterday was my last class session for my 1L year. Holy crap.

It was an awesome feeling, a feeling I'm trying to savor and at the same time not over-inflate. It's really tempting to start singing, "I don't ever have to be in class with him again or her again or them lalalala!" And since there is no way of knowing if the particularly annoying folks in my section will be in any more of my classes I have to reign in that instinct of mine. Because they probably will. At least I won't have all of my classes with all of the same people all of the fucking time.

The #1 thing I have hated about law school? Having all of my classes with all of the same people all day every day all week every week all year. I like a little bit of anonymity in my classes, and I like a little bit of variety. Having less external reinforcement helps my internal motivation to keep ticking. Being in all the same classes with the same group of type-A personalities was so much external reinforcement that it really turned me in the opposite direction, of needing to get away from it all a little too often.

My section did not become a love fest of people who will be friends until we die. It became an oversized Real World house, complete with ill-advised hookups, secret alliances and agendas, and, more than anything, drama. Le barf. I can recognize that some of the friends I've made are friends of convenience. In the last month I've seen this, experienced the inevitable falling out of touch. That's ok with me.

Yesterday, one of my classmates said that he doesn't feel like he knows anything more now than he did in August. I asked him, "is that a joke?" I feel almost like a different person now than I did 9 months ago. No, I certainly don't think that I have learned very much of what there is to know about the law, but that has more to do with the vastness of the subject than with my increase in knowledge. I know enough now to know that I need to know more (say that 5 times fast), but I still think that I have learned an incredible amount in this school year. Its probably the greatest knowledge increase I've had since I learned to read. Even if I just consider things I've learned about myself in the last 9 months, the change has been huge.

One thing I've learned? Not to be terrified of my exams. I'm trying to remind myself of that as I prepare and revise my outlines. I hope everyone out there can feel the same. Good Luck.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Puncher strikes again

Laughing: Oh, hey, what have you got there?

Self-Righteous Classmate: A contracts hypo.

Laughing: Where did you get a contracts hypo?

S-R Classmate: The TA.

Laughing: That's weird. I emailed the TA and asked for any hypos I could work on and he never emailed me back.

S-R Classmate: Yeah, he only had like 5 copies. He said he wasn't going to give them out unless people came to see him. So its really not me that's not sharing, its him, he just only wanted those of us who went to see him have them...

Laughing: In that case I have to leave before this irresistible urge to punch you travels from my brain to my arm.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

I ate ice cream for dinner tonight. Ice cream. Like someone who just started living in the dorms and is like, "freshman 15what? I can eat ice cream any time of the day or night!" Because apparently there is something wrong with me in my brain.

I love to cook and have actually really been enjoying cooking all for myself this year. I get to try out new recipes, I get to cook my favorite things over and over again, I get to relax, and when its just me its really low pressure - if it tastes like shit I throw it out and make scrambled eggs. But lately I've been a little wacky with eating any of it. I'm still cooking, for myself during the week and sometimes even for BF on the weekends. I'll find a recipe online or think of something really yummy that I want to eat, I buy the ingredients, I take part of the night off from studying to make it. Then I cook it. And then I have absolutely no desire to eat it. I anti-desire to eat it, I want nothing to do with it. Not because its bad, BF still loooves whatever I make, and I can usually go back to it in leftover form after a few days. I also can't really ever say what I want instead, I just know I don't want that.

Its totally fucking ridiculous, not the least because I don't have a lot of money to spend on food that I simply don't eat. There's something about doing the prep and cooking that totally takes the gratification out of it for me. So instead of eating the awesome wonton soup I made tonight, like a weirdo, I had mint ice cream.

Monday, April 6, 2009

cleanliness is next to .... calmness?

Not to sound too smarmy, but sometimes what I really need is just to spend a few minutes cleaning up my apartment.

I've always been a person who, under stress, makes a huge mess in my surroundings: papers laid everywhere, clothing strewn about, coffee mugs left out, etc. I've always made excuses: I'm so busy/stressed/have so much to accomplish that I cannot even begin to think about being neat, let alone actually cleaning up the mess that I've made. That "solution" has always worked just fine for me, at least until law school.

"Stress-messy" was still my M.O. last semester, at least during the week. Now, I'm beginning to think that this may be a poor strategy for me. Instead of calming me down because I have one less task to worry about, I think deep down the mess stresses me out. Cleaning can be really cathartic for me, and in the last few weeks I've found that its much better than surfing the internet or watching tv is at making me feel like I've had a break and am ready to do more schoolwork.

Maybe this is a tiny piece of the wisdom/calm that the 2Ls have found? I know that they are waaay busier than 1Ls, but for the most part they seem to also do a waaay better job at balancing school, life and job than we do.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

oh yeah, "there are no winners or losers"

While working on my appellate brief, sometimes it is hard to remember that this is not a real case. Its disappointing too, especially after finding out that the cases relied upon by my opposing counsel don't even come close to making a convincing argument. My first instinct is to think, "Awesome! We are totally going to win! Booyah!" I'm slightly irritated to know that the grading is going to be based entirely on the quality of the writing, when it is clear that someone could write well and cite flimsy case law. I guess this is just another charming example of "this is what being a lawyer is like, except we are going to do things completely different."

I guess I should just try and keep my "we are winning!" enthusiasm and realize that this gives me a great writing opportunity to slam (er, distinguish) the cases in their brief. Right? Being excited that I'm given a good opportunity to write well? That's a new level of nerdery, even for me.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

nothing to share

Maybe this blog is headed down the tubes. I just feel so unsatisfied with everything that I write. Plus, my life is pretty damn monotonous, so there's not a lot of fun and new things to share.

Seriously, in the past 3 weeks I've written at least six posts that are going to rot in the saved section because they are either: 1) spiteful and mean because I'm crabby, 2) whiny because law school sucks, 3) bitter because of 1 or 2, or 4) annoying because I am paralyzed by having too many options (which is also kind of whiny).

Maybe its just that time in the semester? Bleh. That seems to be my answer for everything.

Ok, there is one thing that is remotely worth sharing. I like Property. I know. Am freakish and unnatural. This certainly does not translate into any desire to do something involving property after I graduate, but for some reason I get it. I can sit and do 3 days of reading in a row without wanting to pull out my eyeballs. It just clicks for me. But, considering That Thing That Happened With My Grades last semester, I'm almost nervous about liking it, as if liking my classes is a sure path to doom.

Monday, March 23, 2009

clusterfrackery when you get to the top of the parking garage ramp, press the button so that it will dispense a ticket and open the gate and instead the message pops up: "tickets jammed". And there is no attendant. And the gate does not move. And you must try and reverse and u-turn down the steep ramp before anyone traps you in there. And you need to get on the train actually very soon. And so you drive home (?!) to park and get on the train there. And this last "and" is just intended to make all you hard line grammarians cringe again.

As you can tell, I've returned from spring break with a bang.

I gave myself a real break this time - I didn't read, outline, or write. It felt good, and I needed the mental and emotional break. Unfortunately it has been followed by the rather jarring realization that - frack frack frack - there are only 5 more weeks of class. Ooh. Hmm. I need to catch up on con law. Yes.

It doesn't help that I agreed to do a bunch of really really time consuming stuff this week. Instead, I'm trying to focus on the positive. Like this stuff:

1. Not only have I scored a majorly awesome summer internship, I have also managed to snag one for the fall. (Don't be too jealous, neither are paid)
2. The fact that the cat kept me up all fracking night last night means that I'll sleep like the dead tonight.
3. I'm making onion soup tomorrow. Nom slurp nom.
4. I found a grocery store gift certificate that my mom gave me for Christmas that I had previously lost. Free food!
5. I have a new favorite word. Can you guess what it is? In related news, a new disc of battle-nerd ga-nerd-ica arrives in the mail tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

I promise to write more betterer posts if you promise to continue reading past this school-heavy/blog-light dry spell*

Bargained for exchange? I think so.

These couple of weeks before spring break have been quite a doozy. Tomorrow afternoon marks the peak of this mid-semester foothill: practice oral argument. Somehow my writing professor decided that the best timing for practice oral arguments is at the end of our longest day of class, a couple of hours into the evening, on the last day of class before spring break. You know, so that we'll be extra fresh and well-rested. And prepared. And apathetic. Add some lifeless adverbs and this sentence style is probably exactly how I will speak tomorrow night.

So, in lieu of a more elegant, eloquent, entertaining or even lengthy post I will leave you with this sampling of what I would rather be writing about:

1. I got an internship for the summer. Booyah.
2. A friend sent us five extra-large cans of fancy Spanish tuna. Five.
3. I find it a little bit bizarre when staff at the law school send out emails after 10 pm.
4. Fuuuuuuck daylight savings, otherwise known as "that time/light thing that kills my ability to wake up in the morning."
5. My prop prof said in class that while I do not look like someone who would own a garbage truck business, I sound like someone who would own a garbage truck business. Resident gunner-douchebag thought this was the funniest thing he's ever heard.
6. I actually think I'm understanding property. Something is clearly wrong with my brainz.
7. Ohmagaahd if undergrads are going to study in the law building the least they can do is cut down on the damn perfume.
8. Bliss = spontaneous lap-cuddling and purring from a generally standoffish kitteh.
9. Question for 2 & 3Ls: I have another interview next week for a summer (unpaid) internship, even though I've already accepted somewhere else. Can I just explain that I'm interested in interning in the fall during my interview, or do I need to call and let them know ahead of time? (Note: I think I will probably be the only applicant for summer or fall, and she set up the interview without even seeing my resume, telling me to just bring it along when we meet).
10. If you too are on the brink of spring breakage, Have Fun.

*Or If Post Titles Were Like Point Headings: The Story of Writing Phrases that Readers are Guaranteed to Skip Over

Thursday, March 5, 2009


The spider water bottle? Best cat toy evaaaaah. It took her a while to catch on that -- hey! -- something is moving in there! Once she did though, holy crap. She could do this for hours.


Wednesday, March 4, 2009

things I have done tonight that are not reading for con law

It is well established that I am neurotic. Its the butt of many, many jokes. I have deep appreciation for anyone who can tolerate me despite it. So I know. Ok? I KNoooOW.

Tonight, while reading for con law (really! I was! I swear!) I looked over at my phone and happened to glance what can only be referred to as an extremely unwelcome intruder. Yes, that means a fucking spider. A large fucking spider.

If you've been reading since I started school, you'll know that I kind of have a thing about spiders. You know, a crippling spastic anxiety fear thing. I recently learned that the freaky looking red spiders that I usually see are "harmless." While I take issue with that description, I'm relieved to know that they are at least not poisonous. The one positive thing that I'll say about winter is that it has been relatively spider free. Until now.

This particular fucker was not of the "harmless" red variety, but is about the same size. He was in a place on the wall that made stomping or squarshing kind of awkward, so I went and got a cup to trap him in. But no! He was fucking fast, and darted behind a bookshelf. (You see where this is going right? Right? Exactly).

So I moved the bookshelf, stalking him for about 15 minutes. (Once I made a dinner guest help me move the couch because a spider went under there.) I grabbed an old nalgene. I had never considered this before, but these nasty old water bottles I use are basically just spider containment devices in waiting. And after multiple jobs at the wall, and then the carpet, and then some general freaking out when he made a run towards my feet, success.


Oh, you can't really see it that well? How about this:

Now the only decision I have to make is whether to give the water bottle to the cat to play with for a few days or to just throw it out now.

Monday, March 2, 2009

let the sun shine in

Oh, dear sweet readers, I have tested the limits of your patience and tolerance in this past month. And no wonder - February sucks. February is the month in which I go from occasionally mopey to full blown S.A.D. I went down the (non-medicated) rabbit hole, complete with 5-7 hours a day of television, nearly no social contact with anyone other than BF, and oscillation between insomnia and over-sleep. On top of that, I added an unhealthy dose of self-loathing compounded by having to respond to classmates' questions with: no, I have not secured a summer job, thankyouveryeffingmuch. Looking back at my blog writing from February I'm glad now that I hit the save button more often than I hit the publish button, because egad I wrote some pretty self-indulgent I'm-so-sad shit.

So here's to looking up. Here's to March being a (literally) brighter month. Things are off to a great start - I actually felt like I accomplished something this weekend, but didn't make myself miserable in the process. The days are getting longer and warmer, and not even daylight savings time can take the spring out of my step, bitchez. Plus, I promise not to go all sad & crazy-like for at least another 11 months. So, you and me - we're cool, right?

Sunday, February 22, 2009

not laughing

I've been extra complainy lately, I know. February has been a tough month - lots of school work, lots of stress, very little let up. But yo? It is hard to not be complainy when the shit just keeps hitting the fan in such spectacular fashion.

Latest example: this is the weekend before my motion brief is due. It was also BF's birthday, so I took yesterday off and planned to work diligently, all day long, on my brief today. In theory it was an excellent plan. Excellent, until this morning when I discovered that my hot water heater was leaking - soaking the living room and office room floor, carpet, and furniture. So instead of writing and editing and revising and perfecting my citations, I spent the bulk of the day wrangling with various maintenance technicians, moving furniture, and overseeing the carpet pad replacement, carpet shampooing, baseboard removal and water heater repair. And now my apartment is host to two very fucking loud industrial fans to dry the carpet and walls out.

I keep telling myself that it could have been worse. I could have not noticed for a couple of days, the water damage could have been so bad as to force me to move out of this godforsaken apartment into another godforsaken apartment on a different floor. But if that had happened I think I could have legitimately gotten an extension. This is just inconvenient enough to butt up against the limit of suck-it-up-and-finish-your-brief. Its just enough to waste the entire fucking day on, its just enough to bring me a hair's breadth from losing my shit.

Edited to add: The cat's dislike of the industrial fans is even stronger than my own. Poor kitty :(

Thursday, February 19, 2009

this is the song that never ends

Law school is the song that never ends. Doing well in law school is all about your ability to tolerate always having something to do. Not just something that you could be doing but something that you need to do, something that you really ought to be doing.

I am discovering that I have a very low tolerance for that sort of thing. I need a foreseeable end, a lull, a break. I like lists because you can see everything and cross things off and then you're done. I can push myself to workworkworkwork when I know after its over I won't have anything to do. That's why I've always been such a procrastinator - I'm really only willing to put forth the time and energy when I'm going to be immediately rewarded with a break. And until law school, this was a pretty successful system. In work and undergrad things came in cycles. There was down-time. There were days when I had a lot to do and days when I truly had nothing to do. I was used to it and so I got good at it.

In law school, I've always got something that I need to do. When he's here on the weekends, BF asks me if I have a lot of work to do, and my answer is always "yes." It builds - neglect one thing for the sake of something else and you'll end up behind in everything. It wears on me. At the same time I recognize that this is how law school is, and I need to get to a point where it doesn't bother me. Any suggestions?

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

things I need to do

The following are some things that I need to do, listed not in the order in which I need to do them, but in the order of what is stressing me out the most. I am apparently only organized in my neuroses.

1. Sweep the bathroom floor. Actually, just clean the whole bathroom.
2. Write thank you cards for my interviewers. FUCK I just remembered this one.
3. Figure out how to get lower interest rates on my credit cards. For about 2 seconds, consider moving back in with my parents.
4. Get a new blade for the totally bombtastic cat brush that has recently become too dull to collect any actual cat hair.
5. (related to #4) Vacuum.
6. Wash dishes.
7. Organize (ie decipher) Property notes. Gah.
8. Do I have another sinus infection? Fuck.
9. Find someone who will accept my free and eager labor for the summer. Harder than it sounds.
10. Exercise. Am becoming squishy.
11. Holy shit its almost March.
12. Holy double shit scholarship application due soon.
13. Do laundry.
14. Need to get boss to send me more stuff to work on. Five hours a week doesn't pay the bills.
15. Buy BF birthday present.
16. Oh yeah, I have a draft due for my brief tomorrow.

Things I have actually spent my time doing tonight, in order of how much stupid time they took:
1. Internet.
2. Two blog posts (duh).
3. Cook and eat whole artichoke. Yum!
4. Watch Law & Order.
5. Play with the cat.
6. Outline my brief for tomorrow.

open letter to classmate

Dear classmate who sits behind me,

I sometimes like to surf the internet in class. I know that you do not approve of this behavior, but I don't need your approval. I do need you to get the fuck over it.

Sometimes the people in front of me surf the internet and instant message too, and to be honest I don't really notice when they do. Do you know why? Because the professor is not standing right behind their screens. Because I am not a Nosy Nancy, like yourself. Because I do not give a shit what my classmates do in class, as long as it is quiet.

You on the other hand, seem to think that my internet visits are fascinating - so much so that they absolutely prohibit you from paying attention. If that is true, then you might have ADHD. I can barely entertain myself online through 2 hours of con law, I'm blown away that I can entertain you with only half of a screen.

Also, you knew that I surf the internet in class and you still chose to sit behind me. In two classes. Perhaps you do not has the good decision-making skillz.

You've recently adopted a new tactic of telling me, out loud, in class, to stop surfing the internet, and wagging your finger at me. This crosses the line. You're twenty-five years old, its time to stop tattling on your classmates. Yes I should be paying attention, but I'm an adult and so I'm allowed to make my own decisions. You think I'm a slacker. I think you're condescending, nosy, and kind of a bully. Can we just agree to leave it at that?

Thanks a bunch!


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

i thought they weren't supposed to work you to death til 2L

Do you ever feel like absolutely everything that you look at reminds you of something that you really need to do? I feel like that now, and I've been feeling that way for a couple of weeks. I am not yet ready to accept this as a defining feature of my life.

Only four and a half weeks into the semester and I am completely buried.

Monday, February 2, 2009

the little things

I know that I complain a lot, about law school and about life in general.

Tonight though I'm only going to share the bliss I get from sitting in bed in my pjs and doing my reading while enjoying a glass of wine and a game of string with the cat.

Things could be worse, no?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

the new secret underground

If I learned one thing about law school from reading blogs it is that spring semester of 1L is supposed to be Super Job Search Time Extraordinaire! Resumes, cover letter, interviews, and call backs are supposed to be the words on everyone's lips. And yet, here I am, three weeks in to the spring semester, and I've witnessed none of this at my school. I understand its early in the process but I'm talking about law students - people who do "type A" so well that it needs a new name. So what's the deal? Are my classmates just not on the ball? (No) Do they all have jobs lined up already? (ha! no) Do they all have lawyer parents who hand out jobs like candy? (barf, but also no)

Today I figured it out: everyone, EVERYONE is staging their own little covert job seeking mission. Everyone is scrambling, and everyone is trying to keep it as under-wraps as possible. All of us have learned the following lessons at the same time: that you don't need to, or even want to, broadcast everything you ever do to your entire class, and that you get a little bit of satisfaction from thinking that you are more on top of it than your classmates. Combine these two items, mix liberally with a vibe of suddenly-cutthroat-competition, and a dash of economic-downturn-panic and you've got it: the secret job search.

I have to admit I'm guilty too, and without even realizing it. For one job in particular, when asked by a potential applicant/classmate about whether I had sent in my materials, I replied, "Oh gosh, I had better get around to that," all the while thinking, "Ha! I sent them in 2 weeks ago!" but also, "maybe if she thinks I haven't done it yet she won't worry about doing it quickly either!" Its opportunistic, its conniving, and its deceptive. I know. And I know I'm not the only one.

So I wonder, even while taking part: why all the secrecy?

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

who needs sleep?* well you're never gonna get it

Someday, someday some magical day I will get 7 hours of sleep on a school night. Not tonight, not last night, not tomorrow night, but sommmmmmeday. That night will be glorious. I am staring down the barrel of another 6 hour night and thinking about marginal utility**. That one hour? Its the most important one all night.

The worst part is that I know what the problem is: me. I really need to stop pretending like it is still break and I can still have fun a few (more) nights a week. It is just so hard to give that up, especially when I rationalize and convince myself that its just a couple of hours, that I need to take a break, that my overall quality of life is more important than that one chapter of reading for Legal Writing. In the end, I just guilt myself into doing the reading after 11pm, when I should be sleeping, when I don't retain much of it anyway, when my eyes sting from staring at a computer screen all day. And yes, I realize I'm blogging instead of sleeping right now, and therein lies the rub.

I need to spend this part of the semester shoring up my sleep reserves and immune system so that when flu season hits, when mid-semester freakout hits, when motion brief and appellate brief and moot court and oral argument and scholarship application deadline and everything else hits, I've got some credit.

*10 imaginary bonus points if you can name the band and album that this song title comes from without use of itunes.

**Apologies to readers and to my former self for referencing econ terms in a blog post about sleeping. On the other hand, marginal utility was the only thing that I enjoyed, understood, or retained from econ, a fact which seems to be biting me in the ass in Property. Alas.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

why I need a new teapot and also a fire extinguisher

This is perhaps the most important lesson I have learned in my whole life. It is most certainly more important than anything I have learned in law school, so listen up.

Earlier today I made some instant pasta for lunch. You know the kind, where you mix all the ingredients, heat and then just wait for it to thicken? (Uh, this is not the beginning of a post about my cooking prowess, obvi). Well, since instant pasta doesn't require any sort of special skill or talent, I tend to forget that it is on the burner and let it boil over, which is what happened today.

No big deal, right? Normally, true, no problem at all. I have developed an extremely effective method of cleaning the burner pans with fancy chemicals like vinegar and baking soda. So I sort of filed it away in my head, "need to clean off burner," and went on my merry way.

I went out this evening, and when I came back I decided I would like a cup of tea. I filled the teapot, put it on the stove, and turned to put the clean dishes away. It started to smell a bit, which I thought to be fairly normal considering the burned pasta sauce. Then I turned back to find my teapot completely engulfed in flames. Flames as in campfire. Fuck! Fuck! FUUUUUUUUCK! Fire in my apartment!!

I quickly engaged in some drastically horrible decision-making by reaching around and turning the burner off, and then throwing some water from the pitcher onto it. (Well, I suppose the decision-making could have been worse, I could have thrown the water at the burner before turning it off). At least it stopped the fire. On the other hand it did set off the smoke detectors (yay for safety!), and completely ruined my teapot. So, I need a new teapot, and I may need to invest in a fire extinguisher. There's one in the hall outside my apartment, but as I was looking at the flames it occurred to me that by the time it would take me to get to it, the fire could reach to the towels hanging on the oven door and then....eeeeeeegad.

Moral of the Story: when you spill on the burner pan, clean it off BEFORE using the burner again. Cripes.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

weekend update

1. Law school has officially turned me into a bit of a caffeine junkie. I never really thought there was all that much caffeine in tea (durrr, wrong) and learned this morning that after a week of starting the day with english breakfast, it is not a good idea to skip my morning tea. BF will support that statement, considering the torrent of crabbiness and then I-am-dying-inside headache misery that I unleashed on him this morning. Thank goodness I still think that coffee tastes like ass or I'd be in real trouble.

2. Have you ever wondered what the water smelled like after the Boston Tea Party?

3. I'm feeling much better about law school today than I was yesterday or the day before. I can deal with the fact that I go to school with crazy people much better when I'm not actually in their presence.

4. I think I'm going to like contracts.

5. It is date night with BF. Sushi ahoy!

6. I did mostly alright on my first semester grades. However, having reviewed some of my exams this week, I take issue with some of my professors' grading methods. I was under the impression that if a question asked something along the lines of, "what would you do?" that you are going to be evaluated on the quality of your argument and whether you correctly explain the legal actions you chose. I was wrong. Apparently that questions is code for, "there is only one right answer sucker, it doesn't matter at all if you're a good writer as long as you get the gist of things, and if you can't guess what is in my head then you are SOL." Instead of feeling like I know what I'm in for in terms of spring exams, now even more than before I feel like grades are just a big crapshoot. This does not inspire confidence.

Enjoy the long weekend!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

i might be outing myself with this, but...

This fucking week. It has been a murphy's law kind of week, as anything and everything has sort of gone to shit. And of the things that did not completely go to shit, it was probably the busiest first-week-of-school week I've ever had. Am seriously considering taking a mental health day tomorrow. I know that I wrote in the fall about just "letting it all go" and not holding on to the shitty things that happen long enough to let them upset you, and now I am going to swing back to the other extreme and complain about my week. The content of this post might out me and my anonymous identity to my classmates, but I've kept things pretty tame on this blog in terms of talking shit about others (a tactic which may fall by the wayside in the following list) and I'm in the midst of a full-blown whaaathaaafaaack pout, and need to get some things off my chest. And honestly, if my site stats are any indication, there isn't even anyone in this whole city that reads my blog, so here goes. If you do happen to recognize me as that girl in your section, let's just let this be our little secret mmmmkay?

These are the things that happened this week that were either totally shitty or total time-sucks:

Day 1: Wake up really effing early Monday morning for first day of school with a half of a foot of snow piling down and a busted ass hot water heater.

Day 2: My best friend drops out of law school, pretty much without warning.

Day 3: New professor throws me off kilter with a teaching style that includes walking around the room, through the aisles, as he questions us about property. Being sort of socially awkward, when he stands immediately in front of me, stares down at me and asks me a question, I react by saying this: "You're freaking me out, man". To be fair, he was freaking me out. On the other hand, this is, far and away, worse than any other time that I have ever "lost my shit" in class before in my whole life. Humiliation ensues. Buy some shoes to make me feel better, but somehow inadvertently get a half-size too big.

Day 4: At the point when I have started to get over my extreme embarrassment re: Day 3 events, girl in my class says about it: "I think you were just making it up for the attention". Spend contracts daydreaming about punching her in the face. Cat knocks over one of my two surviving orchids. Walk around cold downtown for 45 minutes looking for a restaurant, only to decide on a place a half-block from where we started. Also, major car issues ground my vehicle for the 3rd time in as many weeks. Cannot exchange the big shoes without driving, feel mocked by gorgeous unwearable footwear.

Many of these stories deserve entire posts of their own, especially days 2 and 3. At some point when I am not in a funk I will be able to reflect in a way that does justice to day 2's issues and consequences, and day 3's humor. If I go to school tomorrow, it will be without doing the reading. Right now I am going to bed.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

oh crap, this again

Second semester starts tomorrow. I did not drink nearly enough wine for break to be over. Bah humbug.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

if you think I'm sexy, and you want my res'me, come on baby let me know

There is something new that I am doing that I hate worse than any other school or job related thing that I have ever had to do before: write cover letters. I hate it with the power of a thousand suns. I hate it worse than going to the dentist. I hate hate HATE haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaate it. "Dear Ms Lawyer, I'm a 1L at such-and-such law school, and I'm contacting you as a result of my budding interest in such-and-such a kind of law." That phrase, that idea, that kind and amount of making ridiculous shit up just to grovel enough that someone will hire me for NO PAY makes me want to pull out my eyeballs. Plus, is there any way to say "hey I have no experience and no particular reason to want to work for you, but for the love of god give me an internship" that doesn't make you sound pathetic and ridiculous and desperate, and is there any way to say it that won't make my stomach turn? I am about a third of the way through my first stupid letter and it has taken me 2 hours to write 2 stupid sentences. Gah. Why, why is this so fucking difficult?

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Resolutions & Goals 2009

New Years Resolutions are one of my absolute favorite bandwagons to jump on, because I crave the sort of arbitrary accountability they create. I'm one of those people who will write my tasks down in a list simply for the satisfaction of crossing them off when complete, so this is a tradition that I'm game for pretty much every year. I tend to make two lists though, one for Resolutions and one for Goals. Resolutions are measurable and tangible behaviors that I want to get in the habit of doing, and goals are usually broader, less quantifiable aims I'd like to achieve. So here it goes:

1. Exercise. I know, I know, always on everyone's list. However, I have a preexisting medical condition that could seriously jeopardize my health and well-being if I continue to slack on this one, so no more excuses. To be realistic though I'm starting small - 2 workouts a week, at least one of which should be a yoga class at the gym. Any maybe I'll give this another go.

2. Get up earlier. I am convinced that my desire to sleep in originates solely from my poor sleep habits. I love the feeling of accomplishing a lot early in the day. Plus, this will make me more inclined to go to bed earlier, and perhaps that will help put an end to the perennial struggle of trying to fall asleep during BF's atomic-boom-snoring.

3. Keep my car clean, inside and out. Includes monthly car wash, and weekly interior-shit-accumulation cleaning.

4. Keep my apartment clean. To be fair, this is a habit I've been trying to develop for a few months now, with some success. Putting it on my list just helps keep me accountable. On the other hand, I've made a lot of excuses this semester about law school making me too busy to clean. However, when I went to visit family and saw my aunt who keeps her house beautifully clean (without outside help) despite it being 3-4 times larger than my apartment, and despite having a full time job, marriage, dog, and three teenagers, I decided it was time to suck it up and stop making excuses.

5. Try 2 new recipes a month. This will keep me thinking about developing a health and exciting diet, without being too overwhelming. New recipes take a lot more time and planning than familiar ones, especially since I'm still building my spice and pantry reserves. One a week is too many, one a month is too few.

6. Record all my purchases in my monthly budget. I used to do this, but gave up entirely after I got internet banking. In retrospect, taking the time to remember and record all of my purchases myself makes me a lot more aware of what and how I'm spending than if I just look at my balances online.

1. Develop better financial habits. Resolution #6 is a big part of this because I think it will help me make and stick to a realistic budget, and will reduce impulse/emotional purchasing. Paying off half of my credit card debt this year is the other big part of this goal. My credit card debt is especially frustrating to me right now, because I have already gotten into the habit of making better financial decisions than when I amassed most of that debt, but it is now that I am stuck with the constant consequences of my past mistakes. Moreover, BF and I have decided to start saving for some big things in the future (like a house) and that's something I can't contribute to right now because my rates are increasing and I'm faced with large monthly payments. I know that paying down my debt is a small contribution to our ability to buy a house, but I'd like to be saving money too.

2. Develop better study habits. I'm sort of stumped in terms of breaking this down into tangible parts, because I find that my study habits are different for every class, and they just sort of develop as I go. I do think that it will be easier this semester, given that I have a much better idea of what I'm in for. After making my outlines, one thing that I know I need to do is go over the day's notes that evening. I went through so many notes that probably made sense as I was tying them, but after 3 months meant almost nothing to me. Reviewing my notes will help me to avoid this in the future, and will hopefully reinforce short and long term memory. Other than that, I'm hoping that the legal timekeeping I'm doing for my new job will spill over into my study time and make me more aware of how much time I waste. (I already know this much: I waste a lot of time). I'm welcome to suggestions and assvice in this area, and will probably check in on this goal more than any other.