advice (not assvice!) to 1Ls

Dear Precious 1Ls,

We need to have a quick chat about study room etiquette. You see, I get that you are new here. I get that you don't quite know how things work yet. I get that you are scared out of your damn minds at least half the time. But that doesn't give you any good reason to act like a bunch of dill-holes. So let's go over some stuff that might make everybody's lives a little easier.

1) Try reserving your own study rooms instead of taking mine. Telling me that you've been kicked out of 3 other study rooms already today doesn't move me to sympathy so much as it makes you look like an idiot. Reserve your own room or go to the library, and get the fuck over it.

2) When somebody starts standing awkwardly outside of a study room you are in, they are not admiring your color-coded underlining technique or your overpriced and underfunctional school bag. They probably have the room reserved, which means you need to get out, poste haste. No, you may not finish that page, that email, that killer convo about who said what to whom at bar review. Pack yo shit up and skeedadle.

3) Study rooms are not soundproof booths. Less shrieking, less screeching, less squee. Many of you have not yet figured out that you are staring down the barrel of a buttload of work, and that you would do well to use less time gossiping. If you are with it enough to have gotten a study room, use it for studying, or at least silent facebooking. I don't really care what you do, as long as I can't hear it.

That being said, you all look like lovely people. I'd be more than happy to help you with your citations. I love seeing your UCC diagrams on the whiteboards. Also, I commend you on the relatively low incidence of over-perfumers. Next year you'll have full discretion to chastise 1Ls as you see fit. Let's just try to work these study room habits into your routine, mmmkay?

Truly yours,

Laughing