internet "research"

You know you've crossed some sort of internet-stalking line when you find things while "researching" somebody online that you want to share with them, but in order to do so you'd have to admit to your technological-pokings-around - and not in the "yeah I checked out your pictures when you friended me" kind of way. But come on, when someone else who has the exact same name has put only books about magical demons on their amazon wish list, how can I be expected to not make a joke about that?

In a related note, lots of people who have private Facebook profiles do not have private pictures. I mean lots and lots, especially those who are not paranoid law students worried about getting a job someday. I also think that most people don't think about the setting "friends of friends" as still containing complete strangers. I start break tomorrow afternoon and it is going to take Herculean efforts to keep from going any further into the internetz.

obligatory pre-overnighter posting

I am about to dive headfirst into a 15 page final paper for one of my classes (due tomorrow, how'd you guess?) but before I started I figured I would waste a bit more time and alert teh interwebz to my recent goings-on. And, of course, since I am lazy ... err .... saving all of my transitions for my brilliant paper, I will devolve into my favorite format, la liste.

1. I went away for a few days for Thanksgiving and came back to a cat who was so starved for attention that she has sat on my lap for over 10 hours today. If there is one thing I am thankful for this year, it is the unconditional love of a pet.
2. The downside is that it is very difficult to actually accomplish anything when there is a purring cat sitting between me and my laptop.
3. When I got up yesterday I learned that my phone had deleted all the contact names in my address book. In other words I still have the numbers, but no names to go with them, which is just about as useless as not having the numbers at all. I'm working on a solution, but in the meantime I'm just answering the phone really enthusiastically every time.
4. I did an interview with Awesome Job That I Want SO Much, For Realz about a week ago, and I do not have enough digits to cross to contain my hopefulness.
5. When it rains it pours. Just saying.
6. I am almost halfway through with law school, which makes me simultaneously relieved and terrified. This is pretty much par for the course? I'm Ron Burgundy?
7. I cannot wrap my brain around how people who have such a poor grasp of grammar get into law school, but I'm so grateful that they do. Getting all worked up about grammar, style, and punctuation while grading citations is strangely cathartic.
8. For the love of all that is good and holy, please do not go out and buy Going Rogue. Do not Go Rogue, do not collect $200.
9. Also, please do not go see New Moon. Barf.
10. I love my apartment. I've never really loved anywhere that I've lived before, so it's a strange new feeling for me, but oh god I lurve my apartment.

patience is my strong suit

In my experience, the anxiety of waiting for a guy to call is only eclipsed by the anxiety of waiting for the Awesome Job I Applied For to call. And I only submitted my application like 3 minutes ago. Welcome to my own particular brand of crazy, Internet. Make yourself comfortable, we could be here a while.

C&S

Cite & Source, otherwise known as Crap & Snark, otherwise known as Crude & Sucky, otherwise known as I Have Lost My Creativity to Make Up Clever Shit. Oh Wait! Otherwise known as Clever & Shit.

Things I Will Do While I Work on This Cite & Source:

1. Watch about a billion episodes of L&O Criminal Intent on Instant Watch. I know there are a lot of C&I haters out there, but I love Vincent D'Onofrio, and now it's got Chris Noth too, and you know that Noth sounds an awful lot like NOM. Chris Nomnomnomnoth.
2. Dive into that gallon of seasonally flavored ice cream in the freezer.
3. Learn way more than anybody cares to know about now-defunct laws written in the 1940s.

laundry day

Although living in a building of mostly undergrads has its obvious downsides (Taylor-Swift-listening-girl-next-door, I'm looking at you) I have discovered one perk. Being the only person up before 10 on a Sunday means I get first dibs on the one washer and dryer, which I plan on monopolizing for the next 3-4 hours. Bwahhahahaha!

The amount of enjoyment that I am getting out of this is perhaps a new low in the "law school has turned me into a complete loser" game.

adventures in "reply all"

Today in the library, I received the following email:
_____
To: Laughing, Guy-Friend ...list of other people
From: StudyGroupGuy
Subject: Party!

Hey study group! I am having a party next weekend, it would be cool if you all came!

_____

I then replied to Guy-Friend:
_____
To: Guy-Friend
From: Laughing
Subject: RE: Party!

OMG! Cute boy in our study group is having a party!
_____

Then Guy-Friend replied to me:
_____
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Party!

Laughing, you clicked Reply All....
_____

And then PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
_____

And then I received this:
_____
To: Laughing
From: Guy-Friend
Subject: RE: Re: Re: Party!

Haha! Just joking!
_____

And then I spent the afternoon scheming about leaving flaming bags of poo on Guy-Friend's doorstep.

house-keeping and awesome-keeping

Hi, my name is Laughing and I am an asshole. Which is to say, I just got around to updating the links to some of my favorite blawgers who had migrated to new platforms. Uh, some of whom had done so like 6 months ago. This is my way of making up for my slackishness. Go visit Exhibit L, No634, a woman in law school, and A (Non)Token Minority Law Student - all people who, despite me ignoring their pleas to update my blogroll, did not remove me from theirs. Thanks dudes.

It is also my pleasure to say that I've been included in The Bitter Lawyer's 10 Favorite Law Student Blogs. Woot! I'm totally flattered, especially since my posting schedule has been, err, lacking lately. Go read all the interviews of the folks included on the list. There is a tiny part of me that wishes I hadn't outed my crush on Nobody since she was also included, but on the bright side it reaffirms my incredibly good taste, no?

And if you're here for the first time because of the Bitter Lawyer post, welcome y'all! I hope you enjoy!

financial aid success!!

It only took about 15 tries, but the financial aid office has finally gotten their shit together and decided to let me borrow more than $2000 to live on this semester. Yay! No more ramen for me, I'm upgrading to PB&J! Wooohoooo!!!

In completely unrelated news, "Velvet Wendolyn" has emailed me to let me know that she (she?) wants to sell me some viagara and cialis. Someone with that kind of a name is exactly who I would expect to be peddling such wares, except that I would expect her to be doing so at the kinky tent at the renaissance festival, not through such modern means as email.

from the mouths of babes

Overheard in the law school today, after a bunch of 1L classes got out:
________________________________________
CoolGuy1L: Hey, so what are your plans for the weekend?

Saddest1LintheWorld: Uh, well, I don't have any friends, so...... probably nothing.
________________________________________


I know that it might feel that way right now, 1Ls, but I promise it gets better. I promise.

what's your weirdest search?

You know the "research" you do to get points on lexis/westlaw? The days where you have nothing legitimate to look up, but goddamnit if you are going to miss today's 15 points? What do you search - even better - what is the weirdest thing you've searched?

When I'm presented with a situation like this, I turn into an 8 year old boy. Which is how I now know that there are 17 cases on lexis with the phrase "dog poop" in them. (Oh hello new readers who are finding me after searching "dog poop". You are creeping me out, go away.) The bad thing about that search though, is that all of the cases are pretty sad. The phrase isn't used as a euphemism for something else, and you know that if that particular element is important enough to use in the case then there is some sad stuff going down.

To cheer myself up, I decided to search for some other ridiculous thing: witch and magic wand. Three cases. More hilarious and less sad. Also better than just searching "magic wand" where nearly every phrase goes something like this: "the suchandsuch doctrine is not a magic wand for that dumb thing you did."

So what about you? What have been your best, worst, funniest, and weirdest searches? Come on, I've got 2 days to go, entertain me.

oh yeah, "there are no winners or losers"

While working on my appellate brief, sometimes it is hard to remember that this is not a real case. Its disappointing too, especially after finding out that the cases relied upon by my opposing counsel don't even come close to making a convincing argument. My first instinct is to think, "Awesome! We are totally going to win! Booyah!" I'm slightly irritated to know that the grading is going to be based entirely on the quality of the writing, when it is clear that someone could write well and cite flimsy case law. I guess this is just another charming example of "this is what being a lawyer is like, except we are going to do things completely different."

I guess I should just try and keep my "we are winning!" enthusiasm and realize that this gives me a great writing opportunity to slam (er, distinguish) the cases in their brief. Right? Being excited that I'm given a good opportunity to write well? That's a new level of nerdery, even for me.

clusterfrackery

...is when you get to the top of the parking garage ramp, press the button so that it will dispense a ticket and open the gate and instead the message pops up: "tickets jammed". And there is no attendant. And the gate does not move. And you must try and reverse and u-turn down the steep ramp before anyone traps you in there. And you need to get on the train actually very soon. And so you drive home (?!) to park and get on the train there. And this last "and" is just intended to make all you hard line grammarians cringe again.

As you can tell, I've returned from spring break with a bang.

I gave myself a real break this time - I didn't read, outline, or write. It felt good, and I needed the mental and emotional break. Unfortunately it has been followed by the rather jarring realization that - frack frack frack - there are only 5 more weeks of class. Ooh. Hmm. I need to catch up on con law. Yes.

It doesn't help that I agreed to do a bunch of really really time consuming stuff this week. Instead, I'm trying to focus on the positive. Like this stuff:

1. Not only have I scored a majorly awesome summer internship, I have also managed to snag one for the fall. (Don't be too jealous, neither are paid)
2. The fact that the cat kept me up all fracking night last night means that I'll sleep like the dead tonight.
3. I'm making onion soup tomorrow. Nom slurp nom.
4. I found a grocery store gift certificate that my mom gave me for Christmas that I had previously lost. Free food!
5. I have a new favorite word. Can you guess what it is? In related news, a new disc of battle-nerd ga-nerd-ica arrives in the mail tomorrow.

I promise to write more betterer posts if you promise to continue reading past this school-heavy/blog-light dry spell*

Bargained for exchange? I think so.

These couple of weeks before spring break have been quite a doozy. Tomorrow afternoon marks the peak of this mid-semester foothill: practice oral argument. Somehow my writing professor decided that the best timing for practice oral arguments is at the end of our longest day of class, a couple of hours into the evening, on the last day of class before spring break. You know, so that we'll be extra fresh and well-rested. And prepared. And apathetic. Add some lifeless adverbs and this sentence style is probably exactly how I will speak tomorrow night.

So, in lieu of a more elegant, eloquent, entertaining or even lengthy post I will leave you with this sampling of what I would rather be writing about:

1. I got an internship for the summer. Booyah.
2. A friend sent us five extra-large cans of fancy Spanish tuna. Five.
3. I find it a little bit bizarre when staff at the law school send out emails after 10 pm.
4. Fuuuuuuck daylight savings, otherwise known as "that time/light thing that kills my ability to wake up in the morning."
5. My prop prof said in class that while I do not look like someone who would own a garbage truck business, I sound like someone who would own a garbage truck business. Resident gunner-douchebag thought this was the funniest thing he's ever heard.
6. I actually think I'm understanding property. Something is clearly wrong with my brainz.
7. Ohmagaahd if undergrads are going to study in the law building the least they can do is cut down on the damn perfume.
8. Bliss = spontaneous lap-cuddling and purring from a generally standoffish kitteh.
9. Question for 2 & 3Ls: I have another interview next week for a summer (unpaid) internship, even though I've already accepted somewhere else. Can I just explain that I'm interested in interning in the fall during my interview, or do I need to call and let them know ahead of time? (Note: I think I will probably be the only applicant for summer or fall, and she set up the interview without even seeing my resume, telling me to just bring it along when we meet).
10. If you too are on the brink of spring breakage, Have Fun.




*Or If Post Titles Were Like Point Headings: The Story of Writing Phrases that Readers are Guaranteed to Skip Over

things I have done tonight that are not reading for con law

It is well established that I am neurotic. Its the butt of many, many jokes. I have deep appreciation for anyone who can tolerate me despite it. So I know. Ok? I KNoooOW.

Tonight, while reading for con law (really! I was! I swear!) I looked over at my phone and happened to glance what can only be referred to as an extremely unwelcome intruder. Yes, that means a fucking spider. A large fucking spider.

If you've been reading since I started school, you'll know that I kind of have a thing about spiders. You know, a crippling spastic anxiety fear thing. I recently learned that the freaky looking red spiders that I usually see are "harmless." While I take issue with that description, I'm relieved to know that they are at least not poisonous. The one positive thing that I'll say about winter is that it has been relatively spider free. Until now.

This particular fucker was not of the "harmless" red variety, but is about the same size. He was in a place on the wall that made stomping or squarshing kind of awkward, so I went and got a cup to trap him in. But no! He was fucking fast, and darted behind a bookshelf. (You see where this is going right? Right? Exactly).

So I moved the bookshelf, stalking him for about 15 minutes. (Once I made a dinner guest help me move the couch because a spider went under there.) I grabbed an old nalgene. I had never considered this before, but these nasty old water bottles I use are basically just spider containment devices in waiting. And after multiple jobs at the wall, and then the carpet, and then some general freaking out when he made a run towards my feet, success.

Look:














Oh, you can't really see it that well? How about this:














Now the only decision I have to make is whether to give the water bottle to the cat to play with for a few days or to just throw it out now.

lessons in legalese

From my civ pro notes:

"motion for a new trial: there has been a defect/mistake in the conduct of the trial, and there is no way to cure that mistake short of a do-overs"

I especially like that "do-overs" is pluralized. Also, this is a great example of why I might fail civ pro. If that happens I will link to this post with a See citation.

blogging under the influence

Blogging under the influence is very slow because I do not want to make typos, so I am doing a lot of delete button pressing. Today was the END of this semester's Legal Writing. WOOOOO. I am happy. And live puppy cam (have you seen live shiba inu puppies?!: they make civ pro so much less depressing) And so I drank some wine.

Here are things I have thought about this week:

1. My cat has the same reaction to the smell of vinegar as she does to the smell of Emergen-C, which makes me question my cold-fighting tactics.
2. Having to go back into my memo and put an extra space at the end of every sentence is bullshit. Anyone with Office2008 for Macs know how to get that shit auto-formatted?
2. Actually: legal citations can suck it.
3. If there is one way to spot a 1L it is to observe the printing area the week a memo is due.
4. Despite #2, I might actually be interested in law review (something I resisted for a long, long time). We will see.
5. It takes a lot less to get me drunk these days.
6. But I am a much better cook.
7. I would probably be even more of a pathetic cat lady without a cat because having a cat gives me an outlet for a lot of my loneliness.
8. I am having some sort of weird skin reaction to something. My face-skin is suddenly bumpy, but the bumps are not visible. This morning it covered my chin up to my mouth, but now it is all the way up to the top of my cheeks. At what point do I start to freak?
9. I love my state.
10. But I do not love stupid career services saying that they want to know where we are interested in practicing so that they can help us get jobs in those places, except that when I am interested in my home town which is only an hour away from law school city, then I am On My Own.
11. I am kinda good at peer pressure.
12. I don't feel bad about that. Should I?
13. Also actually: career services can suck it.
14. I have approximately $50 with which to buy all my Christmas presents. Uh Oh.
15. I have lost my student ID. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. I need my student ID to get the free public transportation. Shit. Also (see #14) I do not have enough money to get a new one with.
16. I have a strange and disgusting urge to use See and See e.g. in real life. Because I am awkward.
17. I lurve wine.
18. Oomlats would make English so much more fun.
19. I would enjoy law school so much more if I got to pick my classes.
20. Someone dropped out a week before finals! Whoa! Weird! Expensive! UnBElievable.
21. I am going to have to drag my butt out of bed way earlier next semester. I need a gradual brightening SAD lamp.
22. I said butt and not ass. I maybe am becoming a lady.
23. No motherfucking way.
24. I am entering a profession that requires pantyhose. SHIT.
25. There should be a day when men are required to wear pantyhose. And then we would never ever have to wear it again.
26. Why are there about 15 seasons of Law & Order but only 6 seasons on dvd?
27. Also, I lurve netflix.
28. Also, I lurve my cat.
29. Except when she kills my orchids.
30. But then sometimes she helps me find bugs.
31. Law school paranoia has given me a weird finger-save-command-urge. I have Command-S'ed this page like 18 times.
32. Wow my typing is a lot better now than it was in June. The handwriting has kind of tanked though.
33. I could never be a vegan because cheese is one of my chief joys in life.
34. Also because of Thanksgiving turkey.
35. Is it wrong to wish that I could go to my own parent's instead of BF's parents for Thanksgiving?
36. The first year I attempt a Thanksgiving on my own I will judge myself against Pieces of April.
37. Right now I stick to bringing the wine.
38. Law school is better than grad school because we get a lot of free lunch.
39. But when my friends in grad school compare law school and grad school and act like they are the same thing I want to punch them in their well-rested faces.
40. I have a law job sort of, starting the day after finals. More to come later.
41. Since I have moved my jade plant, my orchid, and my wonky cool euphorbia have died. Sad.
42. I need a community gardening plot soooooooo bad.
43. I do not belive that we should bail out the auto industry.
44. But I do believe I should learn to make sweet potato pie.
45. Civ Pro (and maybe Crim Pro but I have no experience) should be taught as practical skills courses like Legal Writing.
46. I am somewhat OCD and need 5o items to complete this list.
47. Sometimes I leave the puppy cam on in a tab and forget about it, and then I am a little weirded out when I hear wimpering from my speakers.
48. It is egg nog time! Yay!
49. Which means it is almost Girl Scout Cookie Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
50. Law school has turned me from sort of a nerd into a complete nutter. Is that a tort?

these are a few of kitty's favorite things

I've been feeling somewhat guilty lately for quasi-neglecting my cat. She's certainly fine and gets enough food and water, but has been getting the short end of the attention stick lately. When I don't spend as much time playing with her she gets a little ornery and then I find myself in a pretty heavy spray bottle rotation. So I tried getting her some new toys so she could focus on them and maybe please leave the houseplants alone (forchrissakesstopdumpingovermyorchids!)

These are the toys that we have bought her:
1. Thing in a Bag: little vibrating motor in a paper bag
2. Boingy birdy: feathery bird sits on spring and bounces around when batted at, also plays chirps when struck hard enough.
3. Cat nip
4. Ping pong balls
5. Cat nip filled chewy toys
6. Cat nip filled crinkly toys
7. Mouse that spins around in a circular track

These are the things that my cat actually likes to play with:
1. Jade plant leaves
2. Vertical blinds: she only likes to play with them when I'm sleeping though
3. Every single hair tie on the face of the damn earth
4. Shower curtain
5. Her food: omgteenytinyhockeypucks!!!!!! Also, since there are probably 85 kibbles under the fridge, stove and dishwasher, possibly the source of my troubles
6. My legs
7. My backpack: mostly for naps
8. Twist ties
9. Cardboard boxes
10. Anything in the forbidden closet
11. Occasionally ping pong balls, although that got old really fast
12. Shoelaces
13. Pens: but only when I am actually writing something
14. Measuring tape: sometimes used to get the ping pong balls out from under the stove
15. DVDs that are left out of their cases
16. My contacts case

I would be more than happy to supply her with plenty of the things that she likes to play with (except the house plants and kibble) but even it doesn't seem to hold her attention for very long. There's really only so much more abuse my plants can take, poor things (uh, oddly heightened mothering instinct? perhaps). In general my cat is great: she doesn't tear up the furniture, she doesn't bite or scratch, she always goes in the box (and even tries to sweep up her own litter if it gets out of the box), she lets me groom her so there's less hair around, and with the exception of the jade, she generally only damages the plants if they are in between her and somewhere she wants to be (like the inch-and-a-half between the plant and the wall). I just want her to keep being great despite the fact that Mommy is not playing Catch the String much anymore. Any ideas?

law school numbers

2 - weeks of law school that I have lived through

7 - times I've wished that I could swallow my pride and get a rolling backpack

4 - times I've gone drinking with friends

2 - times that I've been called on in class

3 - number of Rudolf-blinking-red-nose zits that I've had since school started

1- the loneliest number that you'll ever do

4 - classes in which, despite my best efforts, I've felt totally unprepared or lost

2- pairs of new shoes I own as a result of stress-shopping

7- days I've woken up before 7 am

4 - times I've watched the youtube video of one of my profs before his class in order to relax

3 - times I've called my mom

3 - free lunch meetings I've gone to despite no actual interest in the subject matter of the meeting

1 - times I've kicked someone out of a study room

2 - times I've been kicked out of a study room

6 - bottles of wine that I've drank (with help, mostly) since school started

this is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning

I made it through one week of law school. I have to keep repeating that, because otherwise the voice in my head returns to "but it was probably the easiest week of all, and I didn't hardly have any reading over the weekend, and I was still in too much shock and awe to take in how much work I really have," which is a good way to start a Sunday-night-anxiety-attack trend.

I'm too easily distracted by shiny objects and new classes. In reality my classes are good - torts prof keeps things light, crim prof is super mesmerizing, writing prof is really friendly. Civ pro is abysmal but my prof has the highest bar passage rate so there is at least one redeeming quality.

And! I've made some friends! (Hopefully!) I don't feel like the clique-forming is happening as fast in law school as it has in the past (with a few notable exceptions). At least I'm still meeting people who seem genuinely interested in meeting and getting to know me. The 2Ls and 3Ls are all really friendly so far.

My goal for week two is to work some exercise into my routine, in part because I've already had 2 disgusting vending machine lunches. Also, I must remember that law school takes more energy than I think it does while I'm packing my lunch.

Ok, so I can totally make it through week 2 right?

now that I've assembled my new office chair, I can blog

It is now August, which means the countdown to law school is so on. Orientation is just over a week away, sections have been assigned, advance assignments are starting to pop up on the website. I received my bill (gack!) and it served as just one of many indications that this is serious-time. I also ordered most of my books already and I hope that my attempt to save some money will not come back to bite me in the ass (Super Saver Shipping I mean You!)

I've even met some fellow law schoolies. I take it as a good sign of the atmosphere at my school that there have been so many pre-orientation get togethers planned already. Most of the people I meet seem nice (generic) and I hope that I seem that way too, as it would be a vast improvement on the super-awkward way that I feel. I haven't come across any best-best-besties yet, but I'm also wary of strangers. In a uncharacteristic move of goodwill, I reserve judgment.