Wednesday, April 8, 2009

water water everywhere and not a drop to drink

I ate ice cream for dinner tonight. Ice cream. Like someone who just started living in the dorms and is like, "freshman 15what? I can eat ice cream any time of the day or night!" Because apparently there is something wrong with me in my brain.

I love to cook and have actually really been enjoying cooking all for myself this year. I get to try out new recipes, I get to cook my favorite things over and over again, I get to relax, and when its just me its really low pressure - if it tastes like shit I throw it out and make scrambled eggs. But lately I've been a little wacky with eating any of it. I'm still cooking, for myself during the week and sometimes even for BF on the weekends. I'll find a recipe online or think of something really yummy that I want to eat, I buy the ingredients, I take part of the night off from studying to make it. Then I cook it. And then I have absolutely no desire to eat it. I anti-desire to eat it, I want nothing to do with it. Not because its bad, BF still loooves whatever I make, and I can usually go back to it in leftover form after a few days. I also can't really ever say what I want instead, I just know I don't want that.

Its totally fucking ridiculous, not the least because I don't have a lot of money to spend on food that I simply don't eat. There's something about doing the prep and cooking that totally takes the gratification out of it for me. So instead of eating the awesome wonton soup I made tonight, like a weirdo, I had mint ice cream.

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