not dead yet

Just in case anyone out there still reads this.... I haven't died in the past month. I've just fallen off the face of the internet.

I know that this happens to a lot of blawgers, especially in the first summer. I remember being frustrated by a lack of posts last summer when I was preparing for 1L by reading every law student blog I could find.

I could say that I haven't had anything to write about, but that's not true. It's more that I've been working through some things that I haven't yet been ready to share. I could be writing about my summer job, but I already have to do "reflective journals" which are a lot less fun than blogging, but also sort of destroy my desire to reflect. Plus, using blogging as a way to put off homework is fairly enjoyable, but using it as a way to put off fun summer stuff? Not as enticing. Sorry internets.

The past month has been a full one, and a lot of things have happened that warrant their own posts entirely. Here is a brief list though of stuff I've failed to blog about:

1. Living with animals who are at war with each other = not my idea of a good time.
2. I'm moving in 2 weeks. This was entirely unexpected, and until about 4 days ago, unplanned.
3. My garden is awesome enough that sometimes I wish I owned a greenhouse instead of going to law school.
4. I got my grades.
5. I did not try for law review.
6. My summer job has helped me make a major decision about what I want to do in my legal career, which is sort of awesome.
7. I lined up a fairly cool job for the fall, with people I like, and I sort of just fell into it without trying. Score!
8. I do not miss being around law students. Related: I like my classmates a lot more now that we are not in class. Most of them, at least.
9. Despite #8, there has still been a little bit of social weirdness. I would not be surprised if this became a bit of an issue in the next month or so.

I'm going to try to be a better blogger. I pwomise. Also, to my peers who have moved their blogs, I will get around to updating my blogroll with your new addresses. Sheesh I'm such a lazy internet citizen. Please be patient with me.

best and worst of the first

I got tagged! And despite my steady readership of other people's blogs, it took me about 15 minutes to figure out what the fuck it meant when Shake wrote "I tagged you!" I thought, "spray paint?" or maybe "facebook?" A while later, and with a healthy helping of "duh" I realized that oh, hey, tagging is a thing people do on their blogs. Oh yeah.

Aside from that, this exercise was difficult for me. It was difficult to look back and try and decide between all the bad memories, and to try and remember the not so many good ones. This year of school has been rough and though I've had fun at times, nothing in particular has stood out for me as making all the crappy stuff worth it. But hey, let's get the bad news over with first....

The Worst: On the day that I turned my final brief in for my writing class, I also got back a practice midterm from a class I had been doing pretty well in. While he was handing back the midterms, my professor mentioned that there was one that he had trouble reading, and so he had asked the writing tutor to read it and comment. And of course it was mine. And of course the writing comments were the first thing I read. And of course, I lost my shit. Writing has always been one of my strongest academic skills, and it tore me to shreds. I thought about quitting school, I thought that I was going to fail out. I was mad at my professor and mad at myself, and I couldn't stop thinking about the paper I had just turned in. I read the midterm, and it was poorly written, and so I beat myself up some more. I tried my best to put it behind me, to not think about it, to act as if it had been a fluke.

The Best: I hate to bring this to grades, but this experience is only the Best because of how it relates to the Worst. The day after my last final I went in to pick up my graded brief from my writing professor (yes, the one that I turned in on that awful day). Right there on the front of my grading sheet, my professor had written that my brief was the best one in the class. I hope to never forget that feeling. I could absolutely not hold it in. In fact, I'm pretty sure I actually squeaked, right there in the law building hallway, in the middle of finals, one big loud "EEEEEEE!" I have never been so happy to get an A in my entire life, and I have also never been so worried about doing poorly on something. Plus, it was a great feeling that the first grade I got this semester was such a good one (especially compared to last semester, when my first grade was by far the worst). It has given me more confidence at my internship, in my ability to be an attorney, and in my ability to take a rough situation and still do well for myself.

I'm going rogue and tagging some who has finished a bit more school than me: (In)Sanity Gal.

finals time, break time, job time

Finals were brutal, in ways both expected and not. Property, which was my ace in the hole, was also the last exam and so by that point I was suffering from some serious exam burnout. The Con Law exam seemed to be the best of the bunch, but there's no way to know until grades come in. I did get some good news right after exams: I got the highest grade in my writing class!! It was a welcome surprise, and I have to say that I've never been so happy to get an A in my whole life.

And then? And then! Summer break. I've also never been so happy in my life for summer vacation. Not being in law school is a great feeling. I've been taking maximum advantage: planting my garden, reading a stack of books, drinking lots of beer.

I also started my internship last week. I'm working for a judge and so far its been great. I'll be posting more regularly again soon, but here is a short list of things to share with you:

1. Holyfuckingshit I am not qualified for this. According to the clerk I'm working with, this feeling doesn't really go away.
2. I managed to "exfoliate" all of the skin off of my pinky toe in just 2 days of wearing dress shoes. No likey.
3. I have now seen my judge in running shorts 3 times. I'm sorry, I meant to say 3 times too many.
4. Lawyers are rude.
5. I am happy to report that you are still allowed to have an afternoon snack in adult-land.

what's your weirdest search?

You know the "research" you do to get points on lexis/westlaw? The days where you have nothing legitimate to look up, but goddamnit if you are going to miss today's 15 points? What do you search - even better - what is the weirdest thing you've searched?

When I'm presented with a situation like this, I turn into an 8 year old boy. Which is how I now know that there are 17 cases on lexis with the phrase "dog poop" in them. (Oh hello new readers who are finding me after searching "dog poop". You are creeping me out, go away.) The bad thing about that search though, is that all of the cases are pretty sad. The phrase isn't used as a euphemism for something else, and you know that if that particular element is important enough to use in the case then there is some sad stuff going down.

To cheer myself up, I decided to search for some other ridiculous thing: witch and magic wand. Three cases. More hilarious and less sad. Also better than just searching "magic wand" where nearly every phrase goes something like this: "the suchandsuch doctrine is not a magic wand for that dumb thing you did."

So what about you? What have been your best, worst, funniest, and weirdest searches? Come on, I've got 2 days to go, entertain me.

can you guess what took 10 years off my life today?

Here, I'll give you the answer, I won't even make you wait for it. Having major computer problems the day of my 6 hour take-home exam, that is what took 10 years off my life today. In fact, I think that even just telling people about it took a couple years off their lives. Eeeek.

But! I've only got one left....yippee!

Unfortunately, I learned today that I have to wear a suit to work pretty much every day all summer. And I'm not even working for a fancy firm, in fact I'm not working for a firm at all. There goes my idea of riding my bike to work.

the dormant commerce clause

Can go fuck itself. For that matter, all of con law can go fuck itself.

I need a big sign above my head to warn friends and loved ones. It would say, "interact with me at your own risk." In fact, those signs should be included in the cost of tuition.

end of classes: 1L

Yesterday was my last class session for my 1L year. Holy crap.

It was an awesome feeling, a feeling I'm trying to savor and at the same time not over-inflate. It's really tempting to start singing, "I don't ever have to be in class with him again or her again or them lalalala!" And since there is no way of knowing if the particularly annoying folks in my section will be in any more of my classes I have to reign in that instinct of mine. Because they probably will. At least I won't have all of my classes with all of the same people all of the fucking time.

The #1 thing I have hated about law school? Having all of my classes with all of the same people all day every day all week every week all year. I like a little bit of anonymity in my classes, and I like a little bit of variety. Having less external reinforcement helps my internal motivation to keep ticking. Being in all the same classes with the same group of type-A personalities was so much external reinforcement that it really turned me in the opposite direction, of needing to get away from it all a little too often.

My section did not become a love fest of people who will be friends until we die. It became an oversized Real World house, complete with ill-advised hookups, secret alliances and agendas, and, more than anything, drama. Le barf. I can recognize that some of the friends I've made are friends of convenience. In the last month I've seen this, experienced the inevitable falling out of touch. That's ok with me.

Yesterday, one of my classmates said that he doesn't feel like he knows anything more now than he did in August. I asked him, "is that a joke?" I feel almost like a different person now than I did 9 months ago. No, I certainly don't think that I have learned very much of what there is to know about the law, but that has more to do with the vastness of the subject than with my increase in knowledge. I know enough now to know that I need to know more (say that 5 times fast), but I still think that I have learned an incredible amount in this school year. Its probably the greatest knowledge increase I've had since I learned to read. Even if I just consider things I've learned about myself in the last 9 months, the change has been huge.

One thing I've learned? Not to be terrified of my exams. I'm trying to remind myself of that as I prepare and revise my outlines. I hope everyone out there can feel the same. Good Luck.