open letter to the driver of a yellow H3, who stopped behind me at a light

In case it wasn’t already apparent to you from 1) the fact that I’m driving a car that is over 15 years old*; 2) I have all of the windows all the way down; or 3) I’m leaning forward away from my seat and holding my elbows up perpendicular to my sides even though it makes me look like a crazy person; I do not have air conditioning. I understand that the fumes from the ridiculous amount of gas you put in your vehicle might have started to affect your cognitive reasoning skills, so I thought it would be helpful for me to make that clear.

That being said, STOP HONKING AT ME if I stop in the shade instead of five feet further up. Its hot as balls out, though once again you may not have noticed, since you probably park your air-conditioned monstrosity in the garage of your air-conditioned pre-fab house. You can also cut it out with the waving of the arms, I’m not leaving the shade until the light turns green.




*Despite the fact that my car is over 15 years old, and yours is significantly newer, my car’s fuel efficiency still kicks your car’s fuel efficiency in the ass. By over twice. So I’ve earned that spot in the shade, gashole.