1L.1 in review

This semester has gone by faster than any that I can remember. Because of that (and because I am a nostalgic goon) I thought I'd run through the highlights and low points on 1L.1.

The semester went a lot more smoothly than I imagined it would. My personal life didn't self-destruct, my apartment wasn't a constant mess explosion, I didn't gain or lose a bunch of weight and I managed to preserve my mental health to my satisfaction. I had really hyped law school before starting, and while that made things a little rough for a while, I think ultimately I adjusted because I realized that it wasn't worth going crazy over.

In terms of academics, I really like law school. I like the class material, I like the reading subject matter, I like the way that the classes are taught (with greater and lesser skill by profs), I like that my classmates are by and large intelligent individuals who are prepared for class, I like the idea of what I'm learning. My substantive classes this semester were civ pro, torts and crim, and I found each of them intriguing in different ways. In some ways this puts me in a weird spot, because I liked everything enough to not know what I want to learn more about, whether in classes or a summer job. Yes, the workload is heavier than in college, but since I'm actually interested in what I'm learning (and since I see actual application of what I'm learning) it doesn't really bother me that there is a lot of work. Honestly, I don't think that it is an unmanageable amount of work, and I'm a bit surprised at people who do. Overall, I think law school was the right choice for me.

On the other hand, in terms of the social aspects, I'm still a bit iffy on everyone. Maybe I'm just someone who needs more time to adjust to social situations, and maybe I'll really find my niche in the spring. I hope so. I have found one really, really great friend, and there are a few people who I like to hang out with. I'm still wary though because of the drama that has happened to me and to my section-mates. Seeing the same 80 people day in and day out, hanging out with them evenings and weekends, having all our classes together, doing all of the same things at the same time - it wears on me. Its no wonder there is drama, we don't have a lot to talk about aside from ourselves and each other. I'm not used to the pressure of competition, to the scrutiny that comes with spending so much time together, and most of all I'm not used to being around so many know-it-alls. With so many cooks in the kitchen my response is usually, "Fuck it. I'm going home for some quiet time." And when you're the person that bails, its hard to make friends.

I'm also still somewhat unsatisfied with the mixing of law school and my pre-law school personal life. On the one hand I feel like I spent A LOT of time dicking around this semester (law and order, anyone?). On the other hand I feel like I almost never had time to spend with my BF, with my friends from college that also moved to Law School City, or to go back to my home town and hang with friends and family there. I think that the obvious absence of non-law school social life contributed to being unsatisfied with my law school social life. Plus, I didn't realize how weird it would be to try and talk about law school with "outsiders". My friends and family are really interested to hear how things are going and if I'm doing well and enjoying it, but for the most part that's about it. Its hard to bring people up to speed on the very particular world that law school is, and its frustrating because sometimes I really need an outside view. It doesn't help that I really miss my home town, and that every time I'm there all I can think about is how great my life will be once I'm out of school and can actually live the way that I want to.

Ultimately, in spite of being less enthusiastic about the social aspects, I really like law school and I'm glad I made this choice. This is getting a bit new year-clean slate, but hopefully I can use this reflection in a positive way to help me shape the next semester into being better than the last.

pick me, choose me, love me

Or at least give me a summer job? Ugh.

Recommendation to Career Services Office: next year, instead of saying that we should get settled into our studies and that's why we can't get started on the fun of job searching til later in the fall, you should tell students to get all their reading and outlines done super early so that they may spend the end of the semester working on resumes and sending out cover letters. Because, based on your lovely Career Services Guidebook, that is clearly what you expected ME to do in November and December, and it would have been nice to have had some heads up.

Winter Break - HA! Otherwise known as "time in which you have no classes but are starting your new job, spending way too much time trying to see the people you have neglected for the past four months, prepping with your moot court partner, cramming every possible health and other related appointments into the same 3 weeks as everyone else, and oh yeah, SPENDING ALL YOUR EXTRA TIME TRYING TO GET A SUMMER JOB." Winter Break laughs at me and my foolish naivete in thinking that Winter Break means the same thing this time around as it did in college. I miss the time in my life when relaxing meant watching tv or reading for fun. Now it just means pretending that finishing up my apartment-related chores was really how I wanted to spend my afternoon.

I know I'm being a bit screechy, but it hit me today while I was thinking about exams and sort of lamenting my "meh" grade on my last memo that I may benefit from getting those cover letters out before grades start to surface, you know, just in case. Which.....means now. Which.........ack. Also, if you haven't noticed, I'm not entirely full of the good cheer and patience needed for the fun of job searching.

So, while I'll be spending the next few days not actually doing anything to help me land summer employment, I will be trying desperately to drum up some motivation. Maybe spending Christmas with my family will help me to remember that if I don't get good summer jobs in school then I won't get a job after graduation and I'll have to move back in with my parents and then I will go fully and completely insane. That or I'll find my motivation at the bottom of one of the many mimosas I plan on drinking on Christmas day.

what comes in sixths besides law school?

I am done with finals. Err, sorry, I meant I AM SO MOTHERFUCKING HAPPY TO BE DONE WITH THOSE GODDAMN FINALS. And also exhausted, mentally and physically. My brain is, on the one hand, blissfully numb and on the other is feeling the pain of intensive thinking withdrawal. I feel like I ought to still be doing something - there has got to be something - and I cannot just sit and relax. It doesn't help that during the month long reading period/finals period I put a lot of day to day stuff off, so in addition to the types of (non-school) projects that I usually have saved up for winter break I also have a lot of menial tasks to catch up on. I'm also going out of town for a few days, which I haven't done for winter break since elementary school. Plus this winter break is about a week and a half shorter than what I am used to from college, so it really does feel like I'll have no chance to stop and rest.

I tried a few times to write about my finals. Unfortunately I think the pressure of exams and my own coping mechanisms encouraged me to be even more fickle than usual, to the extent that by the time I was done writing a post I didn't still feel the way that I had described, and I didn't really feel comfortable sharing the various stages I went through.

At this point I don't even know how I feel about the exams, or how I should feel. There were moments in the past few weeks when I felt like I did really good on my exams. These bursts of confidence proved to be great motivators. I thought, "hey, if I did that well on that exam, I could certainly do well on this one if I just put in the time." There were moments when I feared that I did horribly. I doubted myself, I criticized my own methods of study and of dealing with stress, I wondered if I was sabotaging myself subconsciously.

I learned that I need to feel like I did well while I wait for results, regardless of how I do in the end. If that means skipping the post-exam bar outing so that I don't have to hear anyone talk about what they did and did not include, I'm ok with that. I'm desperately trying to hold onto the feeling of having done well for the next six weeks or so until the grades are finalized and released. Its so anticlimactic to think that I will have started classes again before I know my grades. The uncertainty of the tangible results adds to my uncertainty about how I feel about the experience.

But holy crap, I survived a semester of law school.

lessons in legalese

From my civ pro notes:

"motion for a new trial: there has been a defect/mistake in the conduct of the trial, and there is no way to cure that mistake short of a do-overs"

I especially like that "do-overs" is pluralized. Also, this is a great example of why I might fail civ pro. If that happens I will link to this post with a See citation.

goals for finals

In the spirit of not turning into a complete pathetic excuse for a human being in the next two weeks, I have made some goals:

1. shower - aim for once a day but will accept once every other day
2. leave apartment at least once every other day
3. do only enough cleaning that my apartment is roughly as clean as it was before finals started
4. remember to check the mail
5. remember to water the plants (too bad they don't meow when they're hungry)
6. oh yeah, remember to eat more real meals than junk food
7. do not go to the grocery store past 9pm
8. put on real pants and a real shirt when I leave the house
9. take vitamins every day
10. pass all of my classes
11. try not to bore BF to death

In other words, my strategy is to aim low and take encouragement from otherwise unremarkable events in order to keep my spirits artificially high. Its sort of like thinking of the day you start your period as "Yay I'm not Pregnant Day" instead of "Horrible Misery & Pain Day" (and it is too bad if that grosses you out, it is late and I am tired and my brain is all wonky and I cannot think of a better analogy).

I am desperately looking forward to knocking these classes out of the way. I sort of love the end of the semester because if I just keep studying it goes by so quickly, and the *POOF* its over and I can return to my more natural state of vegging.

mastering avoidance

It is the official end of classes which means it is also the unofficial beginning of staying the fuck away from the law building. I've even cleaned out my locker. What with the cold weather I am already less inclined to leave the house, and if my netflix continue to ship I may become a real law school hermit. I've decided that my quarantine should also include facebook, because there is only so much "Susie is done with all her outlines!!!" or "Billy is spending 14 hours in the lawbrary :)" that I can take before my eyeballs start vibrating inside their sockets, and I really do need to go easy on my eyeballs. So, between not leaving the house and no facebook, I'll probably be doing a lot more blogging with a lot less substance! Yay!

But people who are already done with their outlines? Apparently I am quite out-done in the hermit department because I am not nearly finished. And seriously? Its still 2 weeks until the FIRST exam, and we're not done until halfway through Decembers. How many practice tests can you really take? As for me, I'm going to try and stick with slow and steady (and relatively calm) wins the race. Or at least slow and steady lands in the top half and gets to keep her scholarship.

More than anything I can't wait to start break. With visions of sugarplums (nintendo, actually hanging out with my BF, baking, reading for fun and eating Mom's food) already dancing in my head I know its going to be a long 3 and a half weeks. I just have to try and remember that the more focused I am, the faster it will go.

things I do not like about civ pro installment #726

words that start with i- and end with -pleader

blogging under the influence

Blogging under the influence is very slow because I do not want to make typos, so I am doing a lot of delete button pressing. Today was the END of this semester's Legal Writing. WOOOOO. I am happy. And live puppy cam (have you seen live shiba inu puppies?!: they make civ pro so much less depressing) And so I drank some wine.

Here are things I have thought about this week:

1. My cat has the same reaction to the smell of vinegar as she does to the smell of Emergen-C, which makes me question my cold-fighting tactics.
2. Having to go back into my memo and put an extra space at the end of every sentence is bullshit. Anyone with Office2008 for Macs know how to get that shit auto-formatted?
2. Actually: legal citations can suck it.
3. If there is one way to spot a 1L it is to observe the printing area the week a memo is due.
4. Despite #2, I might actually be interested in law review (something I resisted for a long, long time). We will see.
5. It takes a lot less to get me drunk these days.
6. But I am a much better cook.
7. I would probably be even more of a pathetic cat lady without a cat because having a cat gives me an outlet for a lot of my loneliness.
8. I am having some sort of weird skin reaction to something. My face-skin is suddenly bumpy, but the bumps are not visible. This morning it covered my chin up to my mouth, but now it is all the way up to the top of my cheeks. At what point do I start to freak?
9. I love my state.
10. But I do not love stupid career services saying that they want to know where we are interested in practicing so that they can help us get jobs in those places, except that when I am interested in my home town which is only an hour away from law school city, then I am On My Own.
11. I am kinda good at peer pressure.
12. I don't feel bad about that. Should I?
13. Also actually: career services can suck it.
14. I have approximately $50 with which to buy all my Christmas presents. Uh Oh.
15. I have lost my student ID. Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit. I need my student ID to get the free public transportation. Shit. Also (see #14) I do not have enough money to get a new one with.
16. I have a strange and disgusting urge to use See and See e.g. in real life. Because I am awkward.
17. I lurve wine.
18. Oomlats would make English so much more fun.
19. I would enjoy law school so much more if I got to pick my classes.
20. Someone dropped out a week before finals! Whoa! Weird! Expensive! UnBElievable.
21. I am going to have to drag my butt out of bed way earlier next semester. I need a gradual brightening SAD lamp.
22. I said butt and not ass. I maybe am becoming a lady.
23. No motherfucking way.
24. I am entering a profession that requires pantyhose. SHIT.
25. There should be a day when men are required to wear pantyhose. And then we would never ever have to wear it again.
26. Why are there about 15 seasons of Law & Order but only 6 seasons on dvd?
27. Also, I lurve netflix.
28. Also, I lurve my cat.
29. Except when she kills my orchids.
30. But then sometimes she helps me find bugs.
31. Law school paranoia has given me a weird finger-save-command-urge. I have Command-S'ed this page like 18 times.
32. Wow my typing is a lot better now than it was in June. The handwriting has kind of tanked though.
33. I could never be a vegan because cheese is one of my chief joys in life.
34. Also because of Thanksgiving turkey.
35. Is it wrong to wish that I could go to my own parent's instead of BF's parents for Thanksgiving?
36. The first year I attempt a Thanksgiving on my own I will judge myself against Pieces of April.
37. Right now I stick to bringing the wine.
38. Law school is better than grad school because we get a lot of free lunch.
39. But when my friends in grad school compare law school and grad school and act like they are the same thing I want to punch them in their well-rested faces.
40. I have a law job sort of, starting the day after finals. More to come later.
41. Since I have moved my jade plant, my orchid, and my wonky cool euphorbia have died. Sad.
42. I need a community gardening plot soooooooo bad.
43. I do not belive that we should bail out the auto industry.
44. But I do believe I should learn to make sweet potato pie.
45. Civ Pro (and maybe Crim Pro but I have no experience) should be taught as practical skills courses like Legal Writing.
46. I am somewhat OCD and need 5o items to complete this list.
47. Sometimes I leave the puppy cam on in a tab and forget about it, and then I am a little weirded out when I hear wimpering from my speakers.
48. It is egg nog time! Yay!
49. Which means it is almost Girl Scout Cookie Time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
50. Law school has turned me from sort of a nerd into a complete nutter. Is that a tort?

memomg

Legal writing has turned me into a wreck. Have not showered for 2 days. Skipped school today to write this beast of memo, which would not have been that beastly if the research hadn't taken up 3/4 of the time that I had set out for the whole thing.

Also, law school has turned my apartment into a wreck. Well, law school and a broken dishwasher. Dishes keep coming out with white filmy stuff (detergent? hard water stains? who the fuck knows), and teensy food particles, and yet we keep trying to run it, hoping MAYBE THIS TIME it will work. Have gone through a remarkable amount of vinegar and baking soda in past 2 days (same days in which I have not showered or left the house). Have tried handwashing dishes that come out of dishwasher, and lucky for me I only have to wash them 3 TIMES before all the weird shit comes off. In hopes that dishwasher would magically fix itself, BF and I kept using dishes without handwashing them this weekend. All dishes now dirty, including silverware. May starve for lack of utensils. No money to eat out. Please send help or pizza.

Will report back after memo has been conquered.

PLEASE

Please please please go and Barack the Vote today.

bug front: nothing to report, law school front: assvice

I resist saying that there have been fewer bugs lately, because they probably have freaky psychic powers and would know that I had let my guard down and then they would come out in droves. So...I'll just say that I'm glad for a few below freezing nights.

I've already read a few other bloggers' posts giving advice to future 1Ls. Generally it strikes me as the blind leading the blind, or as some thinly veiled attempt to talk about characteristics or behaviors that the blogger finds annoying (which I can definitely get on board with). Either way, its a bandwagon I've decided to jump onto. Future 1Ls can take the following as advice, former 1Ls can take it as commentary and anyone else can take it as one woman's short-sighted and naive insight.

More than anything else that I can say, law school is not what I expected. I did not expect to enjoy my classes (at least for the first year) and I really do. I expected to be terribly intimidated by the socratic method and I'm not. I expected that the level of competition would motivate me to study nearly constantly and it doesn't. I expected to derive a lot of energy from that competition and I find that it drains every bit of energy and motivation out of me. I expected that this blog would help me to deal with the crazies that I encounter and it instead magnifies my irritation. I never expected to miss my hometown for a second. I expected competition to be more overt. I expected there to be more jerks. I did not expect to struggle so much with these damn outlines.

I say this because I am a planner. I was sure that I knew what I was in for. I read every single entry of every single law school blog I could find. I bought or borrowed countless pre-law school books. Its fair to say that I knew that I would spend a significant amount of time studying, that I knew that dealing with grades would be mentally and emotionally difficult, and that I knew there would be competition. What I didn't know, what has had the most impact, is that I didn't know how I would react.

Its bizarre in a lot of ways to reflect on how I've reacted to the various situations, academic and otherwise, that law school has thrown at me. Doing that reflection is one of the reasons I started this blog, and yet I can already tell that in one tiny way I have started to outgrow one of the purposes of my blog. I expected to use this space to vent about fricking morons in my classes, and to be fair I've taken the opportunity to do that a few times (and I'll probably do it a few more times). But I've also realized that the act of remembering some stupid thing for long enough to blog about it means that I just have time to think about the thing and stew. Instead of chilling I reinvest in the drama and then complain about how ohmygodnooneevergivesanythingup. Yes, I'm put off by my classmates' propensities to be know-it-alls and by the fact that most people think that your business is their business, but I get a lot more sleep if I don't keep rerunning things thinking "How can I make this funny or interesting enough to put on the internet?"

So my assvice? Don't hold on to things in law school. Don't hold on to the feeling of the first legal writing grade (barf) or the way that everyone was weird during orientation. Don't hold on to the passive-aggressive comments of the people who do better or of the people who do worse than you. Don't hold on to the fact that some people are incredibly friendly one minute and incredibly icy the next. Don't hold on to the kind of law you think you want to practice (at least not to the exclusion of all else). Don't hold on to the fact that you were always the person who got all As. Don't hold on to being able to speak well in class, and don't hold on to sounding like a freaking idiot. Time is limited in law school and free time even more so. All I'm saying is that if you're going to hold on to something, make sure its worth it.

these are a few of kitty's favorite things

I've been feeling somewhat guilty lately for quasi-neglecting my cat. She's certainly fine and gets enough food and water, but has been getting the short end of the attention stick lately. When I don't spend as much time playing with her she gets a little ornery and then I find myself in a pretty heavy spray bottle rotation. So I tried getting her some new toys so she could focus on them and maybe please leave the houseplants alone (forchrissakesstopdumpingovermyorchids!)

These are the toys that we have bought her:
1. Thing in a Bag: little vibrating motor in a paper bag
2. Boingy birdy: feathery bird sits on spring and bounces around when batted at, also plays chirps when struck hard enough.
3. Cat nip
4. Ping pong balls
5. Cat nip filled chewy toys
6. Cat nip filled crinkly toys
7. Mouse that spins around in a circular track

These are the things that my cat actually likes to play with:
1. Jade plant leaves
2. Vertical blinds: she only likes to play with them when I'm sleeping though
3. Every single hair tie on the face of the damn earth
4. Shower curtain
5. Her food: omgteenytinyhockeypucks!!!!!! Also, since there are probably 85 kibbles under the fridge, stove and dishwasher, possibly the source of my troubles
6. My legs
7. My backpack: mostly for naps
8. Twist ties
9. Cardboard boxes
10. Anything in the forbidden closet
11. Occasionally ping pong balls, although that got old really fast
12. Shoelaces
13. Pens: but only when I am actually writing something
14. Measuring tape: sometimes used to get the ping pong balls out from under the stove
15. DVDs that are left out of their cases
16. My contacts case

I would be more than happy to supply her with plenty of the things that she likes to play with (except the house plants and kibble) but even it doesn't seem to hold her attention for very long. There's really only so much more abuse my plants can take, poor things (uh, oddly heightened mothering instinct? perhaps). In general my cat is great: she doesn't tear up the furniture, she doesn't bite or scratch, she always goes in the box (and even tries to sweep up her own litter if it gets out of the box), she lets me groom her so there's less hair around, and with the exception of the jade, she generally only damages the plants if they are in between her and somewhere she wants to be (like the inch-and-a-half between the plant and the wall). I just want her to keep being great despite the fact that Mommy is not playing Catch the String much anymore. Any ideas?

law school has it in for me

What the fack? I got all geared up at the beginning of this week to really power through the last few weeks of class, to get caught up (and even ahead) in my classes, and to be on the ball for going into career services in a couple of weeks.

Then, this afternoon I noticed another little twinge in my throat. Six hours later and I am full-strength sick again. AGAIN.

I think probably BF and I are just trading this thing back and forth at this point, but in my nyquil stupor it also feels a little bit like law school is smiting me for my upstart sass. If law school could talk it would say "I will crush your plucky and resilient spirit whether I have to inflict back to back sinus infections for a year! Bwahahahaha." I try to keep law school from killing me slowly from the inside (emotionally) but holy crap on a cracker could I please catch a damn break? I've been sick for a month. I've pretty much used up all my absences and one of my professors even described me as looking like "death warmed over." I take my EmergenC and echinacaea and drink lots of water and tea and chicken soup. Boohoo. I can't wait for Christmas break.

hitting the wall and also the fan, or why it is perfectly resonable to be drinking wine at 3pm

Y'all. I know that you are ready to stop hearing about spiders. I know that you are thinking "grow the fuck up." I know. And so I'm sorry, but I got all heebyjeeeby just now and had to go kill a very creepy looking spider on the outside of the patio window. Yes, the outside, because our damn patio door doesn't seal and I just knew it would creep in here and crawl on my neck just as I settled down to watch Law & Order and then I would maybe pee in my pants.

And I thought for once I will google these little bastards and find out what the fuck they are. No luck so far, and I now think that was a bad idea, since I just about jumped out of my skin when on of these ones wiggled. Fuck you, whoever animated that, fuck you.

Also, my shirt popped open twice on the train ride home today. In front of strangers. It was a day where the top button was doing more than its fair share in keeping my bobs* in captivity, and as much as I love public transportation, I do not feel like rewarding it with a free show. Or two. Between my catch and release bobs and another motherfucking spider, I decided that this is A Great Time to Drink Wine.

Plus, this post is mostly going to be about acklawschoolargghwtffffff and I thought maybe some wine would help me to type words and not just sounds. Sangiovese = yumyumyumyum.

So, last week I sorta hit the wall. We had a fairly serious midterm in one of my classes and although I wasn't super stressed about it I did suffer from anxiety-by-proxy thanks to some of my Extreme Freakout Law School Edition friends. I thought that the test went marginally ok (not great), but afterwards what I mostly felt was "meh." As in: reading? meh. briefing cases? meh. cleaning apartment? meh. law school? meh. showering? meh. reading other people's blogs and lamenting the fact that I chose this route instead of becoming a writer? yes, lots and lots of that. wishing I had a job to pay off some of this copious debt? I could probably sign up for that.

It was uncomfortable, it was boring, and it made me re-evaluate what I am doing and why I am doing it. I thought about all the reasons I came to law school, about how much I like law school, and about the fact that law school is just one of those things that I have to do to get what I want. I decided that I'm in it for the long haul.

Then the midterm grades came out, and lo, the shit did hiteth the fan-eth**. I did really well, and I was so happy and proud of myself. Twinkly, my law school bestie, also did really well and I'm so happy for her too. I planned on not telling any other law schoolies my grade, and things were great for about 5 minutes. Then, I sort of got caught off guard and engaged in some remarkably poor decision-making and told another friend of ours (when she asked!) what my grade was. She was pretty much asking everybody, and not reacting super well when people were unwilling to share. Twinkly and I both did better than she did, and she did not react well to this news. There also may or may not have been some sharing of our grades with others, without permission (uh, very un-dude).

It all reminded me of why I sort of hit the wall last week, and of why this competition thing makes me hate law school. I do my best to consider the competition in the abstract, and to not apply it to my peers, because even when they are batshit-crazy-stressed out they're still great people who I love having in my classes.

And? It is ok for me to be happy about the grade I got. I walked out of that test expecting to get a C or maybe a B-, and I was emotionally prepared for that possibility. I worked hard and I earned a good grade. I've certainly learned the lesson of Not Sharing My Grade For the Love of God, but others would do well to learn that If You Ask You Should Be Ready to Accept the Answer. It wouldn't be ok for me to mistreat my classmates just because they did worse than I, so its not ok to mistreat classmates who do better.

If any of us are going to make it through law school, we all have to learn that basing our self-worth on our grades is a colossally bad idea. Sure, I feel great about my grade, but it doesn't make me think that I am any smarter than I thought I was before. It doesn't make me feel like I'm any smarter than my classmates, because I know that people have awful bad days, and people get sick, and people get test anxiety, and people get writer's block, and people get bad grades and then work really hard and get great grades. I am just me. You are just you. We are smart people. So can we please now get over it?






*I am using bobs to keep down the p*rn searches and also because that is what I say in real life. Try it. It sounds funny.
**10 imaginary bonus points if you can name the movie reference, for it is one of my all-time favorite movies.

WaMu probably should have steered clear of those too

My most common and most favoritest law school typos:

joing & several: reminds me of "shwing" à la Wayne's World

thrust fund: uh, yes please

this blog is no longer about law school but is instead about my battles with various insects

I now break from your regularly scheduled law school whining to bring you this, my most recent psychotic break:

My next post was going to be about the recent shitsplosion that has happened to my law school friends, or about my mid-semester crisis and subsequent doing absolutely nothing, or about something brilliant that I thought up the other night when BF woke me up at 2 am because he was having a nightmare (only I can't remember exactly what it was), or about how I think that the worst Sex & the City burn ever is that iTunes thinks that it is similar to the 1st Wives Club. My next post (this one) WAS going to be about one of these things, and my next post still may be about some of those things (I like the word shitsplosion and I fully intend to use it).

But. Alas, for there are more motherfucking bugs in my apartment.

I have briefly mentioned before that I am not a lover of spiders. As a matter of fact I am not a fan of any bugs that come into my home (if they would just stay outside!!!). In order of slightly decreasing hatred:

#1 Spiders
#2 Earwigs
#3 Unrecognizable, but gross looking, other bugs
...
#1,000,000 Roly-polies
#1,000,001 Lady bugs
#1,000,002 Caterpillars
#1,000,003 Lightning bugs
#1,000,004 Butterflies

Cockroaches are not in the top 3 because I am lucky to live in a place where there are hardly any around, and in their absence I like to pretend that they do not exist. Also, in my Which Law School Will I Go To pro/con list I put "not many icky bugs in the geographical area" in the pro column for the school I ultimately chose.

When I decided to call it a night 20 minutes ago and came into the bedroom only to find a crawly of the #3 type, ON MY DAMN PILLOW, it became immediately clear that I would not be able to go to sleep right away. And so, to get my mind off of the real bug, I am blogging about this and other recent encounters of the icky kind.

One morning last week I encountered 3 spiders in or near the bed within 5 minutes of waking up. It was at that exact moment that I decided I fucking hate where I live and we are not renewing our lease. We've already had pest control spray once, and that did absolutely nothing to stem the tide. I blame the shit-tay construction of our shit-tay apartment complex (like the fact that the door doesn't seal all the way, and that none of the damn trim actually touches any of the damn floor). BF blames the time of year, and tries to comfort me by saying that they will come inside and soon die. This is crazy talk, as it seems much more likely that they will come inside and nestle themselves in my belongings and multiply and eat my hair and maybe scare me to death.

The cat is useless. Also in the pro column of Getting A Cat was, "will eat bugs in my house". This was a LIE that other cat-owners told me. My cat is nearly perfect in every other way, but all she ever does is meow at the bugs, and occasionally chase them.

Also significant: I have never before lived in an apartment. I have only previously lived in houses, where there is nature on ALL FOUR SIDES of my home. All of these houses have been at least 30 years old. And somehow, in this apartment built 7 years ago, where there is nature on ONLY ONE SIDE of me there are more bugs than I have ever ever ever seen in my life.

So if you're passing by a poorly built, maintained and managed apartment complex in a part of the country that doesn't have many cockroaches and you hear "guhgaaaahguhugh eeeeeeeeeeuuuuwwwww ick ick uhahha aha aha pheeeewwww," then you will know that you have found the non-internet human being behind this horrible-excuse-for-entertainment blog, and that I am killing a spider.

I spy with my little eye...

...an undergrad in the lawbrary. Doing math homework. Geteth ye to the safety of the student union, young lad, else ye shall incur the wrath of the crabby law students.

reasonable belief in imminent punching of faces

I am thisclose to punching some faces. I have discovered two somewhat related things that I do not like about law school: 1) the fact that people think it is totally ok to be meddlesome, nosy and all-up-in-everybody's-business and 2) the failure of my classmates to recognize when they need to STFU.

As we approach midterms I find that I am having more and more experiences that leave a bad taste in my mouth. Have these people not learned how to be adults? No one but me needs to be concerned with how I spend my time, whether or not I check my email during class, and how/when I get my work done.

I understand that some people think that I'm a fool for checking my email in class, who would rather go without sleep than come to class under-prepared, and who schedule every quarter hour of every day, and who base their entire self-worth on whether they give a good response when called on in class. Certainly, anyone who that system works for should use it. I am not one of those people.

Finishing every last page of reading isn't going to do me any good if I don't get enough sleep, because there is no way I'll be coherent enough to understand what is going on in class anyway. I need some down time every day - usually mid afternoon. Anonymous grading means there is no shame in saying "I don't know." And if checking my email is the only way I can get something useful out of my tuition dollars that are wasted on stupid comments in class, then I'm going to do it. The next person who tries to keyboard shortcut quit Firefox on my computer should expect a karate chop to the face.

While I'm ranting, another thing that people need to tone down is the incessant exam-chatter. These are just midterms, calm the Eff down. I neither need nor want to hear about how many hours you spent in the library. I don't want to see your flashcards. I don't care what you think is probably going to be on the test. STFU. If you really need to share your inner monologue, get a blog like the rest of us narcissists. I'm sure you can trick at least a couple of law school hopefuls into believing that you, 1L, are a master of torts. I, however, am not interested.

That being said...good luck on midterms for anyone who has them!!

neglect and lemmings

Apparently my cat has decided that the best way to get any attention is to lay down either on my textbook or on top of my keyboard. She's probably right. The problem is that now she does it almost every time I sit down to study.

So, which is worse for lonely kitty: staying at school longer & working more efficiently, but ultimately spending less time at home OR being home more often but getting work done a lot slower?

The answer would be pretty obvious except that spending much time at school forces you into the nutjob lemming herd that is just about to run off the cliff: outlineoutlineoutlinestudystudylibrarydon'tdrinkthewaterinthelawbuildingoutline - and pets are great anti-anxiety medicine. (Hm. Remember the Lemmings computer game? I loved that game! I wonder if it is still around.)

It's just a little weird when I open my laptop at school and cat hair flies in all directions.

in which I am a poor example of natural selection

Oi. I was all amped up to write a long and syrupy post attributing my lack of posts to the fact that I have been horribly sick for the past 2 weeks, when I noticed my cat making some pretty intense efforts to crawl through the shoe rack. It occurred to me that my kitty could usually care less about the shoes, and that she was sort of doing that "on a mission" crouchy thing.

Then it hit me. She was chasing a spider. In the shoe rack. A spider*. In my shoes.

I feel fairly confident in saying that for many people, myself included, Spider-in-Shoe is one of Life's Great Panic-Inducing Fears. While many people (wrongly) believe that a general fear of spiders is irrational, its safe to say that just about everyone I know would wig out at least a bit when faced with Spider-in-Shoe (especially if they had already gotten the shoe on by the time they realized it).

Now I'm filled with the heebiejeebies and can't really remember any of my rambling I've-been-sick post. Here is the gist of things: I am sick. I have been sick for 2 weeks. I am not just sniffly sick, but stay home from school, sleep 20 hours in one day, miserable throat pain sick. I went to the doctor last week and he said I would be better in 2-3 days. I got worse. I went to the doctor today and she said that I have a sinus infection and stupid pink eye. Missed more school, because of the highly contagious nature of pink eye. Starting to get a bit nervous about my midterm next week, considering the fact that I have not done a lot more than go to class and sleep in the last 2 weeks. Being in law school makes being sick even worse.

So, although there have been numerous bizarre and hilarious things to write about in the last 2 weeks, I've been oscillating between bitchy and hazy, which does not give me any interest in blogging. Sorry. I have drugs now, so I will hopefully be leaving the sicky-sick behind.





*Here at my clusterfuck of an apartment complex, spider means one thing: giant (nickel-sized) red/brown terror spider. I have never seen this kind of spider before, and I'm too prone to nightmares to try and use Google to find out what kind of spider it is, and if it is dangerous.

res judicata

Of all the bizarre new words, familiar words with new meanings and stupid latin, this one threw me off the worst until I learned that it is pronounced "rays judy-cada" and not "rez jew-dik-uhduh". The correct way is a lot, lot, lot easier to say.

Also, I have discovered that my absolute favorite time of day is early morning in the library. I usually arrive around 7:30 and its so calm and quiet until I go to class at 11. Its a completely different place in the afternoon. Plus I get the benefit of some beautiful morning light and a view over the gorgeous campus.

Need to post more soon, sorry. Didn't you know that I am in emm-effing law school and I don't greatly desire to spend my very limited free time in front of a computer?

my cure for the law school blues

OK, I'm into my third week now and quite a bit of the shiny-happy-sparklies are wearing off.

A couple of things happened today that reiterated what I've been feeling these past weeks: I'm definitely not getting all of this. And the parts that I'm not getting are usually things I'm not even aware that I've missed.

Its really hard for me to know how to solve this problem, because I'm not even sure what to try to be looking for that I keep glossing over. I know I can't be the only person who is having this problem, but that doesn't make me feel any better about that. Its so incredibly frustrating.

Here is what I decided on for a temporary solution: caramel covered ice cream and reruns of Felicity.

law school numbers

2 - weeks of law school that I have lived through

7 - times I've wished that I could swallow my pride and get a rolling backpack

4 - times I've gone drinking with friends

2 - times that I've been called on in class

3 - number of Rudolf-blinking-red-nose zits that I've had since school started

1- the loneliest number that you'll ever do

4 - classes in which, despite my best efforts, I've felt totally unprepared or lost

2- pairs of new shoes I own as a result of stress-shopping

7- days I've woken up before 7 am

4 - times I've watched the youtube video of one of my profs before his class in order to relax

3 - times I've called my mom

3 - free lunch meetings I've gone to despite no actual interest in the subject matter of the meeting

1 - times I've kicked someone out of a study room

2 - times I've been kicked out of a study room

6 - bottles of wine that I've drank (with help, mostly) since school started

another awesome high school parallel

Another great thing that makes law school like high school: a sudden explosion of stress-acne. Could also be related to all the time I spend with my hand on my chin, frowning at a book.

suck it gas prices

The good news: today I filled up my gas tank for the first time since moving to Law School City. It only cost me $30 to fill it up all the way. Public transportation yes please.

The bad news: in anticipation of using a lot lot less gas than I budgeted for, I may have spent a significant portion of the semester's gas budget on a pair of grown-up shoes. Not helpful.

this is the beginning of the end and the end of the beginning

I made it through one week of law school. I have to keep repeating that, because otherwise the voice in my head returns to "but it was probably the easiest week of all, and I didn't hardly have any reading over the weekend, and I was still in too much shock and awe to take in how much work I really have," which is a good way to start a Sunday-night-anxiety-attack trend.

I'm too easily distracted by shiny objects and new classes. In reality my classes are good - torts prof keeps things light, crim prof is super mesmerizing, writing prof is really friendly. Civ pro is abysmal but my prof has the highest bar passage rate so there is at least one redeeming quality.

And! I've made some friends! (Hopefully!) I don't feel like the clique-forming is happening as fast in law school as it has in the past (with a few notable exceptions). At least I'm still meeting people who seem genuinely interested in meeting and getting to know me. The 2Ls and 3Ls are all really friendly so far.

My goal for week two is to work some exercise into my routine, in part because I've already had 2 disgusting vending machine lunches. Also, I must remember that law school takes more energy than I think it does while I'm packing my lunch.

Ok, so I can totally make it through week 2 right?

law school

If I were better at this I would have been posting all along, but instead I've been completely overwhelmed and overstimulated up until today. So, this is what you get instead.

Orientation: Fucking boring, almost completely useless (ie We're here to introduce you to career services, then tell you that you shouldn't even be thinking about a job for at least a semester, and ohyeah you can't even come visit us so it doesn't really matter). Mildly interesting meeting new people, except that everyone is playing the "awkward meeting people" game. I met tons of obnoxious people who are in other sections (phew), and then realized that there will probably be some of them in my section as well (crap). There is also a large contingent of tanorexics, about whom I may, quite possibly, talk a lot of shit (to my non-law school friends since at least half the lawyers from my state go to my school).

Advance Assignments: What the hell does any of this shit mean?

First Day: Deep breaths. Deeeeeeeeeeeep breaths. Things go much better than expected, except that I forgot my lunch. Holy mother of god those books are heavy. Definitely have a better understanding of the advance assignments now that I know what the hell I'm supposed to be looking for (and by know I mean sorta-kinda-think I know maybe, ish). Come home with only mild sensation of wanting to crawl back into bed.

Second First Day: Still new classes, much much more interesting than first day. However, suspect that after first class with Scariest Teacher in the School my face will melt off. It didn't.

Day Three: I love law school! I got called on and managed to sound like a remotely intelligent human being! I've met some people that seem pretty cool! My school is beautiful! Everyone (including support staff and professors) is super friendly! Also, I finished my reading in the library so I didn't have to bring any of those books home! Bring on the wine!

the downside

Follow up on this.

Contrary to all of the evidence otherwise, Amazon finally shipped my books and I've received them both. I guess one of them was originally out of stock (even though it was marked "usually ships in 1-2 days).

This is what I wanted, so I should be happy right? Urrm, except now I have to start studying. Crap.

not helpful amazon, not helpful at all

As I've mentioned before, I ordered almost all of my textbooks online which helped me to save a couple hundred dollars. I've already received most of the books that I've ordered, but the 2 books I ordered from Amazon have yet to ship. I ordered them last Tuesday, and at the time I didn't think that it was necessary to pay for 2 day shipping (I instead opted to go for cheapish 5-9 day shipping). It would have been completely sufficient if they had shipped sometime last week. As is, my estimated receipt date was scheduled on the 12th, but this afternoon I figured that if they hadn't shipped yet, there was no way they would get to me by the 12th with standard ground shipping (especially considering they usually ship from some place like Hoboken, and I am in the middleish part of the country). So I upgraded to the 2 day shipping, which cost me an extra $13. I was kind of annoyed at having to pay more for shipping, but the books are still cheaper than in the bookstore and I guess gas is hella expensive these days, so I wasn't too burned by it. Until I got my new estimated receipt date: August 15th. Frick! Frick frack friggidy frick!! What the hell Amazon? This is the exact opposite of what I want. Thirteen more dollars should not = later shipping. It should = get your shit together and send them tomorrow. This is what I get for trying to be financially responsible and save a little cash. Not happy.

you're not old

I have encountered a really bizarre phenomenon among some of the "older" students at my law school (or, at least among those that I've met so far). My school seems to do a fairly good job of assembling a class that is age-balanced. So yes, there are folks like me who have just graduated college, but there are also plenty of people in their mid & late 20s, people in their 30s & 40s, people with full time jobs, families, prior careers, etc. I'm really looking forward to having classes with a greater age range than college (where everyone was my age except the one wacky 50-something "adult learner" housewife who always held up the class with inane questions). What is so strange to me is that a number of people that I've met who are in their mid & late 20s make such a big fracking deal about being "older" than those of us who are more recent grads. They say things like, "Oh my god, when I was graduating from college, you were just starting college." HOLY JURASSIC ERA DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE FIRE WITH STICKS BACK THEN? Its 4 years, give me a break. My BF is more than 4 years older than I am. My closest sibling is more than 4 years older than I am. Many of my best friends are more than 4 years older than I am. Stop pooping in your slightly older pants.

I suppose that these people might be feeling a bit of anxiety about going back to school after a break, and that's totally fair. But come on, everyone is feeling a bit of anxiety about law school. Plus, I can't shake the feeling that these folks are trying to distance themselves from those of us who just finished undergrad in a way that is tacky and distasteful. The whole "I'm not you, I'm not you" routine is disrespectful because there is nothing wrong with going from undergrad to law school (cripes, especially in this suck-o economy). If you want to impress your classmates with your serious dedication, your work ethic, or your amazing life experience then let those qualities speak for themselves. The only impression that I get from these not-so-oldies is that they tend to freak out over something that is actually no big deal.

now that I've assembled my new office chair, I can blog

It is now August, which means the countdown to law school is so on. Orientation is just over a week away, sections have been assigned, advance assignments are starting to pop up on the website. I received my bill (gack!) and it served as just one of many indications that this is serious-time. I also ordered most of my books already and I hope that my attempt to save some money will not come back to bite me in the ass (Super Saver Shipping I mean You!)

I've even met some fellow law schoolies. I take it as a good sign of the atmosphere at my school that there have been so many pre-orientation get togethers planned already. Most of the people I meet seem nice (generic) and I hope that I seem that way too, as it would be a vast improvement on the super-awkward way that I feel. I haven't come across any best-best-besties yet, but I'm also wary of strangers. In a uncharacteristic move of goodwill, I reserve judgment.

d'oh

I have been remiss in my blogging duties. Sorry. Between packing, moving, unpacking, wrangling with the apartment complex and trying to set up the freaking internet, things have been hit or miss with me. Plus, the cat keeps looking at me like, "Ok, this is cool and all but when are we going home?"

But now I'm (mostly, almost) settled in to Law School City, which means that I'm thinking more and more about actual Law School starting. So stay tuned.

what paper chase? or, the case of the over-used parentheses

BF and I saw the Paper Chase this weekend, despite all advice to the contrary. (Oh no! Don't see the Paper Chase or read OneL! They'll scare the pants off of you!!) Maybe there's another really scary and intimidating movie about law school called the Paper Chase? Because I didn't think that this one lived up to its notoriety. Aside from the horrible awkward acting and the awesomely hideous sets (I do love to think that Harvard was that janky at one point), I found it to be a bust. Professor Blowhard wasn't even scary (he was kind of an asshole). Did I miss something? Do I already have incredibly thick skin? (no, I'm kind of a weenie)

I'm just going to take this as a sweepingly presumptive sign that I'll be able to handle anything that law school has to throw at me. Three weeks from orientation, this is a good feeling to have. It certainly beats my old standard of nauseous nervousness.

open letter to the driver of a yellow H3, who stopped behind me at a light

In case it wasn’t already apparent to you from 1) the fact that I’m driving a car that is over 15 years old*; 2) I have all of the windows all the way down; or 3) I’m leaning forward away from my seat and holding my elbows up perpendicular to my sides even though it makes me look like a crazy person; I do not have air conditioning. I understand that the fumes from the ridiculous amount of gas you put in your vehicle might have started to affect your cognitive reasoning skills, so I thought it would be helpful for me to make that clear.

That being said, STOP HONKING AT ME if I stop in the shade instead of five feet further up. Its hot as balls out, though once again you may not have noticed, since you probably park your air-conditioned monstrosity in the garage of your air-conditioned pre-fab house. You can also cut it out with the waving of the arms, I’m not leaving the shade until the light turns green.




*Despite the fact that my car is over 15 years old, and yours is significantly newer, my car’s fuel efficiency still kicks your car’s fuel efficiency in the ass. By over twice. So I’ve earned that spot in the shade, gashole.

no, the summer will not go by quickly

Tons of people have offered me unsolicited advice about how to spend my time this summer. Most of it is along the lines of "this summer will go by so quickly - just enjoy it." While I know that they mean well, hearing this for the eightieth time makes me want to pull out some eyeballs, Kill Bill style. This has, quite possibly, been the s l o w e s t summer of my life. I started off working 2 jobs (both miserable boring) 6-7 days a week. Now I'm just working the 1-most-miserable-of-all-job and I think that it actually makes the time pass slower. Early in the summer, I sorta thought, "yeah, maybe everyone is right, I'm sure things will pickup in July." Now, one-third of the way into July I'm convinced that things won't actually pick up for at least another week (which will be one week before we move).

I decided to quit my job a bit early, so next Thursday is my last day. The awesome thing about leaving (duh, aside from the leaving part) is that next week is peppered with free lunch from people I work with. Woohoo!

Also, a quick note to the folks at Apple: Please, please PLEASE get the .mac/mobileme webmail up and running quickly. I easily spend 70% of the time that I am at work on my email, which made yesterday extraspecialsucky since webmail was down. Come on Stevie-baby, you owe me this one.

this is how I know I made the right choice

Last week, my law school finally sent me some orientation info. Since I'm an incredibly antsy and impatient person I have been checking the mail for this packet since March. And do you know what I got? A couple of sheets of paper that basically said, "Calm the Efff down. You don't need to get all crazy-like about something that is still over a month away. We promise to send you some info, soonish." I see it as confirmation that I made the right choice of schools. This school isn't going to always give me what I want - but it has done a fairly good job of giving me what I need (which is to be told to chill). So in the spirit of chill, and also because I'm up to my ears in moving, I'm placing a moratorium on law school prep crap. Only summer fun-time (and packing) from here on out.

what the world needs now...

Is shade, sweet shade. Its the only thing that there's just too little of.

Or maybe that's just how I feel after a broiling hot day of drunken slip & slide. This is how I celebrate my country: by hurtling myself across a soaking wet sheet of plastic. Also, by slathering myself with SPF1billion because if there is one thing I have learned in 20-some years it is that I am a pasty muthahfuckah who needs maximum protection from the great cancer-ball in the sky.

p.s. work advice

I forgot to add this sage piece of advice to my work-complaining.

If you are in a situation where your boss has taken away almost all of your responsibilities at work and left you with bullshit to do, do not under any circumstances, change a shared password (that he never ever ever uses) to "No work to do".

sick day....so I blog about work

Apparently Laughing + restaurant fondue = sick day. This is, for many reasons, bullshit (such as the fact that homemade fondue is no problem, as well as the fact that I need money and sick day does not generate the cash). Anyway, since I'm not at work I decided that I may write freely about it.

I used to love my job. I mean Löve my job. It was engaging, challenging and I felt like I was learning a lot. Also it is part of the area of law in which I hope to someday practice (although I work at a university and not at a law firm). I though I was getting really good experience and besides that I was enjoying the work. Until... my old boss quit and they hired a new guy. New Boss is a lawyer, so I thought "extra bonus!" Wrong Wrong Wrooooong. New Boss is also a control freak who does not know how to delegate. He has taken away roughly 90% of what I used to do (and enjoy). He is even too much of a control freak to let me make his copies. Or send out his mail, because, you know, I might accidentally stick the stamp on my nose and try to mail myself.

For a while, I just didn't have anything to do, but it wasn't a huge big deal (uh, hello, that is what the internets are for). But now he pawns me off on other office staff to make their copies and send out their mail. So, I'm basically miserable all of the time that I am at work (except for lunch). Good thing I've only got 13 days to go.

just because you don't need a license doesn't mean there are no rules

I love me some summer-time bicycling. If there is one good thing about high gas prices, it is that more people are riding their bikes. Plus, my home town is uber bike-friendly (I will miss this in about a month when I am in city-traffic-hell). But! BUT. I have been having some issues with the etiquette of new cyclists. Yes, its fun. Yes, its easier than driving. No, riding your bike does not mean "I can act like even more of a jackass than I do when I drive!" No no no no.

So in the interest of not unloading all of my shit on the next twerp I encounter on the trails, here are my RULES FOR RIDING YOUR BIKE:

1. When riding on a trail, do NOT stop on the bridge. Do not stop with all of your friends and all of your bikes on the bridge. The bridge is the narrowest part of the trail and therefore the worst place to stop and congregate, dipshit.

2. Warn people before you pass them. "On your left" is really not that hard to say. Warn them even if they are just walking, even if they are talking on the phone, even if they have a helmet or hat on, even if they have headphones on. Especially if they have headphones on. Warn them even if you think they saw you. No one I know has eyes in the back of their head except for my mom, and you won't run into her on the bike trail.

3. Stop staring at me if I wear a skirt and ride my bike at the same time. The only way that you could see what you are staring so hard at is if you were underneath my front tire, in which case you have other things to worry about. Also, do not stare at me in misdirected self-righteousness. Riding a bike in a skirt is not slutty. If you do insist on staring at me in lust or contempt, accept the fact that me flipping you off is a reasonable and appropriate response.

wouldn't you like to know

I've been thinking a lot lately about the level of anonymity I'd like to aim for in this blog. It seems that most of the blogs that I read strike this balance somewhere between complete disclosure and "complete" anonymity (with most leaning towards anonymity). What seems more likely is that these bloggers strive for the illusion of anonymity, since nobody with an IP address is truly anonymous.

It seems like plenty of law student blogs eventually are removed or password protected, which I assume is a reaction intended to protect a blogger (Silly Little Law Student where are you? I miss your cheekiness). Whether its a move to preserve career prospects or a reaction to snoopy classmates, significant self-censorship might take the fun out of the entire venture (just ask Butterflyfish). Maybe in retrospect many students decide that they have simply shared too much, or that they are embarrassed by the naivete of their posts.

Do students always start out by over-disclosing and eventually reign things in? I have noticed that some of my fellow almost-1Ls, like Terra Nullius and A Woman in Law School have even posted their pictures on their blogs. I'm not willing to go that far, but I'm also kind of a weenie. I really admire their willingness to be up-front about what they are doing and to truly own their statements and opinions. But isn't part of the fun of blogging the fact that you can blow off some of that law school pressure by venting about all of the crazy people you have to interact with? Thanks, But No Thanks's snarkiness is what I LOVE about her blog and I suspect if she filtered more of her writing it wouldn't be nearly as funny.

There is speculation over whether a blogger should even aim for anonymity, like in this especially good post. I get that. "Anonymity" may be a tempting cover for the wide practice of acting like a moron on the internet. Very un-Dude.

I'd like to set the tone early, in part to have some sort of guide and in part to just keep myself from being as asshole. But I'm blunt and cheeky and not-always-super-nicey-nice in real life, so why should I change that for a blog? Ok, so I don't act this way towards my boss, but I don't hide this side of my personality either. Trying to remain as anonymous as possible (by not checking or posting in class, not telling anyone about my blog etc) feels a little deceptive. Is there a way to achieve balance?

Probably, I shouldn't worry so much about it now. I should do what works for me, while it works for me, until it doesn't. And then I change. Its not necessarily an admission of defeat to remove or password protect a blog, and its not a revision of the past either. It is a revision of the present. For now I'll just try to keep on keepin on.

yay bicycle boo birds

My personal plan for avoiding gas prices, reducing my carbon footprint and getting some exercise? I ride my bike to work (usually). As long as I remember to keep my mouth shut to keep from swallowing a bunch of bugs, I have a great time.

Except for today, when a bird flew so near (i.e. the space between where I lean forward and my handlebars) that I almost got feather-clocked. I felt the whoosh of beating wings just under my chin as I pulled back to keep from colliding.

Eeeeks. At least the bird was as surprised as I was.

dilemma

I had a brief and slightly uncomfortable dilemma this morning. I was driving to work and was only about 100 feet from the lot where I normally park (when I don't ride my bike) and I saw some kind of dollar bill in the street. Hey! Free money! So I parked and walked back to get the money, half hoping that it was a $50, half hoping that it actually was money, half hoping that no one else got there first (yes I know, bad math). I got there first, and saw that it was actually money and that it was a dollar bill. Yippee! Then I picked it up and realized why it stayed so perfectly in the center of the street despite cars driving past and a light breeze. Urgh, gum. Not a little tiny bit of gum on the corner, but a melty, sticky, entire-roll-of-bubbletape piece of gum. Shit! Now, not only did I run down the street flapping like a goose to get to the money before anyone else, but I'm carrying an icky-sticky dollar that I don't know what to do with. Here is the dilemma: keep the dollar (which is totally irredeemable so I'd have to take it to the bank and exchange it, but in order to do that I'd have to find something to transport it in) or drop it for someone else to find/deal with (it was, after all, only a dollar)?

So, what would you do?

what now?

Why another law school blog? I've been reading a lot of other student blogs recently, and I've picked up on the idea that law school is tough (duh). I've also noticed that, for those who choose to share, blogging can be one big way to mitigate the stress and pressure of law school. Whether its the relief of sharing, the community of other law student bloggers, or just the ego-boost of somebody finding you interesting, blogging seems like an act of self-preservation in an environment that otherwise be a little bit dehumanizing. (Maybe I'm wrong and law school is all rainbows and unicorns.) For me, I think that blogging will help to keep me grounded and self-aware. I want to be able to enjoy and thrive in law school, and not just academically.

Plus, I know that I've benefited from reading other law student blogs, and I hope that someone out there in the interwebs will find my perspective helpful, insightful, or at least funny from time to time. And this way I can try to laugh at my own mistakes, which makes them so much less painful.

social skills that may not be useful in law school

Laughing: I realized that I'm kind of a bitch in class.
BF: What do you mean?
Laughing: I'm not friendly. I don't give people the benefit of the doubt, I just assume that they're idiots and wait for them to prove me wrong.
BF: Uh, that's not cool.
Laughing: But they are idiots!

weird trash i've picked up while working at the storage facility

1. condom...not so much weird as gross
2. chicken bone
3. a lot of Barbie shoes
4. half of a set of dentures
5. laundry detergent
6. longboard
7. fish tank rocks
8. half of a dead snake

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed picking this shit up.

there is this one place that does this one thing

Last week in class we experienced a perfect example of one of my biggest pet peeves (when I say one of I recognize that, according to some, I am relatively neurotic and may have many, many pet peeves). We were discussing the ever-present wage gap between men and women, and of course, someone had to rebut with "I don't know about that but I do know that this one tech company will only hire women, and you can't even get a raise if you are a guy, so I don't know about how accurate that is anymore." AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGHH! Stupid stupid stupid shut up shut up shut up!!

Don't get me wrong, I totally support first-hand experience as knowledge, but I have a lot of problems with this kind of example. First of all, it completely disregards all of the studies and hard work done that reveals hard data proving the existence of a pay gap. Second, it takes one example of one situation and mistakes it as being representative of all situations. Plus, you would think that someone in a WS class would pretty much accept the existence of the pay gap by now, considering the fact that it has existed since the beginning of time.

wtf?

A recent comment by my political science capstone professor, describing the limits of the political science faculty: "We're not a bunch of whores where we're going to do anything."

Just let that one sink in a little bit.

accountability & cooking

For my very very first blog post ever, I'm going to share something that has been bothering me for a while. Recently, a coworker of mine mentioned that his wife was out of town and consequently, that he and his three sons were going to eat nothing but ramen and frozen pizza while she was gone. When some coworkers and I suggested some very simple things he could do to make the ramen marginally more nutritional, he protested, "That takes cooking. I can't cook. That's my wife's job." In other words, he can't and won't cook for his kids because he's a man; cooking is the responsibility of women.

Aside from my beliefs about Americans' increasing lack of culinary skills, the sentiment that my coworker was expressing is fairly abhorrent. As a human being, you ought to be able to feed yourself, but if you want to eat shitty, fatty food lacking in any redeemable nutritional value, fine. As a parent, you ought to be able to feed your kids, and it is not ok to feed them shitty food because you find the idea of cooking emasculating. My coworker should be setting an example of self-sufficiency to his kids (and perhaps he should also be setting an example of good parenting, but there is clearly no hope for that).

Essentially, I see the ability to cook as a measure of self-sufficiency. I think I'm probably not alone on this. I would extend this idea to say that the ability to cook is an aspect of personal sovereignty. I think that we need to be able to make the decisions that most affect us ourselves, we need to be aware of the decisions we are making for ourselves, and we need to be responsible for the decisions that we are making for ourselves. Sustenance and nourishment are a fundamental part of this. I'm not saying that all human beings ought to cook every meal for themselves, but I am saying that we all ought to be able to. On the most basic level this is an issue of accountability. If you are able to make the decisions that most greatly impact your life, you must also be accountable for those decisions. I guess I just don't see the inability to cook for yourself as a way of being accountable to yourself. Plus, I don't like this particular coworker, and this gives me one more reason to think that he is a total dink.